Vaginal wind, sex,vaginoplasty, pelvic floor reconstruction, or hysterectomy-open to male and female responses

Question

first- views on surgery & could tell me their experience.
my problem is initially incontinence- after investigation from a surgeon, he suggested a hysterectomy. It sounds a bit drastic, I am only 37. I have read reports of after surgery of high blood pressure, depression, menopause even if ovaries left ,in 70% of women the ovaries stop functioning. decrease sexual response- sometimes to do with removal of the cervix.
but after childbirth my vagina just feels huge! even though I exercise my pelvic floor muscles everyday, religiously! there is just a lack of grip, in sex & incontinence is very bad.
vaginal air- when having sex some positions I fill up with air,embarressing, & it decreases sensation no end! my boyfriend says this is normal & has been with other women that it happens to.
Also guys- I had a sex encounter with (what I thought was a wonderful man) but as I got on top I leaked and he pushed me off and that was the end!
so views on that & pelvic floor reconstruction etc

Additional Details

my son is now 7years old!!

I use vaginal cone weights- its all I can do to just keep them in- I'd love to be able to move them higher up!!
I also use an electrical stimulus inside for the muscles.
I can only rarely stop the flow of pee but sqeeze like mad. whats the diffence between this and the 'grip' that I want with sex?
whats the lock in yoga?
where can I get more help with learning to identify these muscles, sounds great- and I thought I was quite body aware!
thanks so far to all replies!

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

People respond differently to exercises; if you can detect no improvement at all, then you need a different type of exercise. Pelvic floor exercises are often taught as a single 'catch-all' technique; a bit like saying that pressups are the only gymwork you need to do. Your genital area has many different muscular functions going on; each needs a different type of exercise to maintain and improve its ability.

(There are also a lot of different responses to surgery, so the horror stories and the happy endings are equally unlikely to apply in your own case.)

Hysterectomy will have been recommended if the problem seems like a 'prolapse' (latin for 'falling down'), rather than just weakness in your pelvic floor. (You may have the beginnings of one, rather than the full effect. A surgeon would probably see progress towards a full prolapse as inevitable.)When you're giving birth, the effects on your birth canal are highly individual; so is your recovery from a 'tear' or a deliberate cut (episiotomy). There are some circumstances where the muscles 'down there' are so badly damaged that surgery is the only answer, but these are very rare.

Most doctors are aware of 'pelvic floor exercises', but are ignorant of the range of different exercises, and their specific effects, that can be used for pelvic (not just pelvic floor) muscular rehabilitation. In academic studies, the results are mixed, because differences betwen effective and ineffective methods are not generally understood.

URINARY CONTINENCE isn't just down to your pelvic floor; you can improve control by trying to stop and start your flow while peeing (it might take a while before you can stop in 'midstream' at all; keep trying anyway, and you will eventually find the technique). As you practice, you will feel a difference between this and other pelvic floor exercises. Try peeing different musical srhythms, or mesages in morse code.

When exercising for GRIP, you need to work on your 'hold'. Just 'twitching' your pelvic floor isn't going to enhance your grip, regardless of how hard you do it, or how often. Start by trying to 'hold' for a count of three. Work upwards, by threes if you can, until you can comfortably hold the grip for fifteen seconds. You should start to notice an improvement by then.

( EDIT - Some Physios also teach a '4-stage grip', where you learn to grip gently, more firmly, very firmly, and really hard. This 'ladder' is repeated every time you practice.)

VAGINAL MUSCLE TONE (airspace, sensation) needs a different type of exercise. The entire vaginal wall is lined with muscle, and just like a leg or arm muscle, this can be damaged by extreme stretching. it can recover, though, and you can stimulate this with the right rehabilitation exercises. Specialised weights are available for pelvic floor exercises. These initially activate only the pelvic floor (basically, you keep them from falling out by tensing up the muscles) but as your familiarity with the technique improves, you can lift them further inside by activating different muscles.

EDIT: The best technique for these is to try for a 'bouncing' action, so you're squeezing it hard and rhythmically, not just 'keeping it in'; this allows you to 'tune in' to the progress you're making, and to judge whether you're in the mood for a hard progress .session or some determined maintenance.

If you can't get the specialised weights, a short fat carrot (well scrubbed) can substitute. Inserted blunt-end first, you can exercise while walking about, by trying to keep it in against gravity. Lying down, you can try to push it out as you insert the pointy end.

All of these are very slow processes; the longer you have left the problem to develop (or pursued an ineffective remedy), the longer it will take to resolve. However, you should start to see some improvement quite soon, once you find the right technique.

There is also a traditional yoga technique, called the 'rising (or 'lifting') lock' (or sometimes 'the great leap'), which helps to support the internal organs, and practiced regularly, this can relieve the pressure contributing to a prolapse.

EDIT: Some Pilates teachers specialise in this kind of physiology; you'll need to ask around for a class that's popular with new mums. There are specialised physiotherapists (pelvic rehabilitation) and clinics. You can be referred by your GP. The yoga thing is best taught in person by a traditional yoga teacher. You can find one of these through the 'Wheel of Yoga' organisation.

Answer 2

Surgery should be the last option. Perhaps get a second opinion. My mum had a hysterectomy a few years ago and she loves not having a period so that is the benefit.

Sorry about that guy - sounds like an asshole.

Answer 3

this is really unfortunate, childbirth does affect some women this way. It is complex problem and one you really are best led by your specialist about. You need a nicer more understanding guy too. Maybe someone special you can trust instead of someone who will be hurtful.
I wish you luck but the answer froma professional point of view has to be follow the advice of the specialist. and the exercises are a great idea.

Answer 4

How long ago was the birth of your child? Sometimes incontinence can last up to a year after giving birth and can repair itself. I had it REALLY bad after giving birth to my son but after about ten months it stopped. The obgyn told me that in 99 percent of cases like mine it repairs itself.
Yes, it is normal for certain positions to cause you to fill up with air...it happens to the best of us! I think having a hysterectomy is too drastic. Having a vaginial 'lift' is much more mild. I would get a second opinion. You are too young to have everything removed!

Answer 5

My wife had a hysterectomy. We haven't had sex for years. She says it hurts. She went to 7 or 8 different doctors. They all said everything was perfect. I think she lost interest. You could leak on me. That guy is a loser.

Answer 6

I can understand the pelvic floor reconstruction, my mum had it done and is fine. I don't understand the need for the hysterectomy- usually that is a last resort and because you are having problems connected with ovaries or your period is heavy etc. So if you don't have a problem like that then you certainly don't need a hysterectomy- maybe your GP was thinking that you had finished having babies by age 37 and so would be a good time to it all at one. Hysterectomy is not a cure for what you are describing. Vaginal wind is normal from time to time and should lessen after the PFR, as will the incontinence problem. See a different doctor.