What is your secret to not letting money issues ruin your relationship?

Question

I travel the world helping people to overcome their financial and relationship issues, but I want to know how you and your partner prevent money from getting in the way of love.
Dr John Demartini


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Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Well, it took me 25 years to figure this out, but here it goes:

First, don't have money problems. Plan and save and realize that you don't have to spend everything you make.

Second, if you mess up on the first rule, then remember that your relationship is top priority. Never let the changing winds of time, storms of life, rocking seas, become the center of the relationship. You two are in the center holding each other, comforting each other, problem solving, and working together. It is never about blame or judgment.
Never forget what you have, and never become so focused on money that you lose your primary focus, each other.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

What a fantastic response.
Thanks to everyone who posted an answer.
See you soon!

Answer 2

Well this is the problem as you have said yourslelf,you help people overcome their financial and relationship issues,

If people would put their relationships before their financial problems there would not be a problem in the first place

Answer 3

Always have lots of money.

Source(s):

Cyndi Lauper,King Canute....

Answer 4

Separate accounts, bill payments divided equally, if you mess up yours, you'd better have a back-up plan to fix it, lesson learned, "I will not back you up if you jack up your money, zero tolerance for irresponsibility with our finances" It's the only way to do it, the only thing love has to do with the business aspect of the relationship is that I loved him more when financial respect was mutual.

Source(s):

Married alot of years, divorced because this lesson wasn't learned earlier, will never happen like that again, trust and believe! lol for what you're doing, sir.

Answer 5

Talk about it all the time!! I've had to take over control pretty much as I'm a better administrator and planner than he is, but the main thing is to talk about where we're at financially and what we need to spend money on.

Answer 6

"Money issues" is a semantically broad category of possible problems, some of which might be curable after "I do" has been uttered. Given the human personality's resistance to change, however, and given how deeply ingrained money views tend to be, I think that prevention is the best cure; couples should make sure that their money views are compatible BEFORE entering serious relationships. Once two people are in a relationship, money issues will ruin it. Seldom if ever is it avoidable.

Answer 7

Communication, always knowing what needs to be paid, and what there is to spend. If both parties have the same goals, there should be no problems.

Answer 8

My husband and I have been through some really hard times, the first 3 months of our marriage.. No trust for one another.. Lost both of our full time jobs.. But it's almost a year now and our Love is 100 times stronger than ever.. We worked through our problems and have never looked back because it's in the past and that's where it stays.. We believe we ARE soul mates.. And this love and marriage will be "til death do us part.."

Answer 9

first of all the "Man," us shall be in charge of the whole financial aspect within a relationship. The woman should be barred from any rights to the assets, unless authorized by the Man. WE should control how the money is spent, distrubuted, and invested. follow this guidelines, and you'll b e ok .

Answer 10

Money is just a means to an ends.

Financial stress is as much an issue as the understanding to affordable outcomes where individuals interact about what their views or vision are.

Desire lust discerning wants and needs is a part of knowing as much what freedom is or what your why is for motivating existing status quo or growth?

When an instant society is told selfless gratification is the only imperative and the wants exceed the need, is a dematerialised zone in the home or lifestyle the imperative fame, or fortune, when sometimes less is more, is it not, doing more with what you have got a better option, the purposeful nature of time is money, but love and people too, is the superficial and shallow more desirable than deep and meaningful?

Surely time is the only finite where growth is unlimited?

Answer 11

As we know, money is the root of all evil, So before we make any commitments, I think both should have an agreement not to interfere in each other money matters. it is easier said than done, but this is what I have been doing with my partner (wife)

Answer 12

Tool.

Answer 13

Follow a budget and create a large savings. That will solve most financial problems. People need to learn to live within their means.

Answer 14

It just worked out that I handle the money. He's totally comfortable with that. We both manage money good to a point but it does 'burn a hole' in our pockets from time to time.
No money battles here.

Answer 15

she is working I'm on pension, so it easy she keep up the house payment while i buy food and give her the money for power ,TV ,and gas,so wen we go out what be to a norther country for a week it comes out of my pocket that give you the idea ??

Answer 16

MONEY COME AND IT GO. BUT TRUE LOVE ONLY COME AROUND ONE TIME. MONEY IS JUST SOMETHING THAT WE DO NOT FIGHT ABOUT. BECAUSE WHAT MINE IS HIS AND WHAT HIS IS MINES. AND WE TALK ABOUT EVER THING.AND ONLY MONEY. WHEN TWO PEOPLE MAKE IT UP IN THEIR MINES THAT THEY LOVE EACH FOR MORE THAN JUST MONEY EVER THING WILL BE FINE. I LOVER THAT PERSON FOR HIM AND NOT HIS MONEY. IF I NEED TO LOVE MONEY I COULD LOVE MY OWN MONEY.

Answer 17

I could tell you for a fee, how I never allow money to interfere with my love life apart from being a great lover that is.

Source(s):

I am the source

Answer 18

I think it's as simple as not letting debt take over your life.

Answer 19

I am really facing a big problem in this money issues. My boyfriend always ends up paying fines and getting into trouble with the law for defaulting payments. I am feeling depressed over this. I earn very well but i always have to use them up to clear his financial problems. I am feeling frustrated over this and we always end up quarrelling over money issues. I have told him many times to let me handle his income and savings without controlling his daily expenditure but it hurts his ego and we end up quarrelling again.

Answer 20

Separate bank accounts, we go 50 - 50 on bills, go 50 - 50 on major purchases.

Answer 21

,an old and wise sayings.
never a lender niether a borrower.
2)its better not to lend to a friend because you could lose your money and a friend,better to lose just the friend.
3)money is the root of all evils.

Answer 22

No such luck. Whatever Whenever However, Every argument is around or about money. It's the root of all evil and no matter what or how you say it, money does make the world go round. In every conversation one has money on the top of there list of conversation or argument. Not sex but money.

Why easy. you need it to get buy. Its either that or Beg - Steal and Borrow. That also, those three subjects are another form of money.So you tell me who's kidding who????

Answer 23

its differant things for differant people,my hubby and i have shared every penny we have.we have shared everything else to in our life together,shared the cooking ,cleaning,looking after the children when they were small.the greatest wealth is to live content with little, for there is never want where the mind is satisfied.:)

Answer 24

I have been with my fience for 3 years now and the best way we personally have figured out is to keep some bills seperate like my car payment and his he pays for his and i pay for mine and the household bills well then we each pay half. Therfor he knows whats going out as well as I do. And there is no argument over who has more left. Because then what is left we will use toward something we want personally.

Answer 25

In my marriage there is his money, my money, family money, bill money, the savings and money the other spouse does not know about.

Answer 26

I try to remember that if the problem is out of my control that i shouldn't worry about it.
In the past when i worried and grieved over money problems, and bills.
I usually took my frustrations out on him. But my actions were pushing him father and father away from me.We weren't connecting anymore, he felt he was under attack and guilty about our situation. And that's just it our situation not his nor mine,but ours. So i started talking things out with him instead of pointing the finger or blaming. I started to express my feeling to him, of how hopeless i sometimes feel concerning our finances. We compromised and now we both work just a few more hours per week so we can have just a little more.
We still struggle day to day, but i learned that we are in this struggle together not alone. And he's a hell of man for sticking in here with me, and i remind him of that as much as i can. I realized that there will always be some hurdle in our lives and most of the time it is money. But I'd rather struggle with him than be rich without him.

Answer 27

My mother is like the financial banker of our family. She only gives money to my dad if he is deserving!!! Funny how he was the one who made the money lol.

Answer 28

Money issues are not there simply because we have enough money for everything.

Answer 29

hi
I would like to see a revolution in the way financial affairs operate. I think, both the partners should work, the one with the lower income defines how much goes into the joint account, and then both partners put in that same amount, whatever is left over stays the property of that person to spend as they see fit, and after separation or divorce, that money is safe from being split up. Too many women refuse to pull their own weight in this world, and that causes the male partner to go to extremes to bring in the bacon, which is where the greed factor comes into play. The womens laziness, induces the mens greedy behaviour. This is not by any means the totality of the world, just those with the penchant to be greedy. Look at the third world countries around the world, all the women have to work, they are not immune from working, it is only in these developed nations that women can get away with bludging off their husbands hard work. Everyone should be self sufficient, and being in a partnership should be an advantage to both partners, not just one being used by the other.

Answer 30

I think spending habits are a crucial factor in "marriage compatibility". But there is always a simple formula: 50% of your income should be spent freely on your family, otherwise you could be defined as stingy. The other 50% should go to your own savings and your own "private" expenses. Unfortunately my 50% is barely enough for myself so that's why I can't think about marriage for now. :) Anyways, you're the expert on these matters.

Answer 31

Try to stay focused on the relationship, and act together on a solution to money problems, and if a realistic answer doesn't come easily, ask others in the particular field of money woes you are encountering.
There are many sources of financial advice, and most communities have free advice counselors available, as well as your local bank.
There are also pay as you go professionals to help you, such as BDO, who will also encourage you to invest or save in a weekly plan to avoid problems, and assure you of a buffer or income later in life.