Circumcision advice?

Question

i am a british female and my partner is an american male, he believes if we have a son that it makes sense to circumcise the baby. he says that it is common practise in america and that the health benefits out-weigh the cons of circumcision. he is circumcised and says that when he was growing up in america he knew a few guys who werent circumcised and they always got bullied in the school showers. what i am trying to ask is what do you think? my opinion has always been that little boys should be left alone unless there is a medical requirement, however my partner feels otherwise. i would want to do the best thing for my son was i to ever have one.

Additional Details

it matters luckydog because he is booked in to get a reversal because we want to start a family, but thanks for your input

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

Places like the UK and the rest of Europe are the reasons why circumcision is becoming less common. My mother was born and raised in the UK, so I have many family members of there that don't have the cut. None of them are having problems.

Obviously I am intact, and couldn't be happier about it.

Circumcision got its first rise in the US when they used it to stop masturbation, which didn't work. Once that was in place there was a bunch of BS that got laid down to continue the practice. At this point, there is not a single medical association that endorses circumcision. This is greatly because of Europe is mostly uncut and does not have the problems circumcision is suppose to save you from.

Circumcision is becoming less common in the US, and attitudes toward it have changed. Here is a link to an MSNBC Poll on circumcision:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19296194/
43% For Circumcision
57% Against Circumcision

I am having a son in 6 weeks. Once I found out I was having a boy I started researching circumcision. I went in to it with the attitude of not circumcision, just because it has never done me wrong. But the more I looked into circumcision, the more I feel it is wrong. I just don't think it should be done to anyone with out a clear need to have it done.

Here is a link to the CDC's US circ stats:
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/pubs/pu…

Here is a link to help back it up with a bigger breakdown:
http://www.cirp.org/library/statistics/U…

My attitude is, I would rather be the parent of a boy that is unhappy being intact, than the parent of a boy that is unhappy being circumcised. With the drop of circumcision rates in the US there is a greater chance a boy will be unhappy to be circumcised, as most men are OK with it because most guys they know are.

Answer 2

I've always heard it was just more sanitary and but it's always completely repulsed me. The idea of doing such a thing to a newborn creeps me out. Especially when a male can get circumcised anytime he wants to.

Answer 3

Why take off something gifted by god without reason. You should leave it for now and only go for it if it really causes problems.
At least in our community it is considered bad.

Answer 4

It may be different in Britain, but kids do get bullied in America for being uncircumcised.

Answer 5

It's incredibly simple: it will be your son's penis, not your partner's, so your son, not your partner, gets to make the decision. If you leave him intact, he can get circumcised as an adult if he really wants to. If you circumcise him as an infant, the process is irreversible.

PS There are no health benefits to circumcision. And unless your guy is seriously perverted, he won't go around comparing equipment with his little boy, so there is no reason for them to match. (Anyway adult penises look a lot different from little boy penises regardless of circumcision staus.) And is he aware that by the time you get around to having a son (presumably at least a year from now) it's quite probable that circumcised baby boys will be a minority in the US? The rate is now roughly 50/50 and dropping fast. The jocks in the locker room will have to find something else to tease other boys about.

Answer 6

Where do you guys live? If in the UK, don't get it done. If you live in the USA, do it. Everyone wants to fit in with their peers.

Answer 7

Please, Miss Ziggy, follow your own advice and instincts. You don't want to do it because you think it should only be done for medical reasons. That is a fine line of thinking that has yet to catch on in America. I am an uncut American, and I will say that I have yet to be teased, mainly because people are so self conscious in locker rooms at schools that they only keep their eyes to themselves. He won't get teased, and if he does, you merely need to teach him to love his body and be glad that he is the way he was born, not cut up by a doctor because his father, who, if I'm not mistaken, doesn't own your sons' penis, decided that it would be better for him. Your son owns his foreskin, and he should be the one to make his choices about it, and he can't very well make any choices as an infant or child. Leave him be. If he want to have a circumcision, make sure he has done his research about it and knows what he's getting into. By that time, he should be old enough to make an informed decision. And also, there are a great many myths surrounding circumcision, mainly those of it being a boost in resistance to disease and whatnot, which is false, if you think about it. And also, cleanliness is not a big dilemma either, as it is very simple to clean an uncut penis and not very time consuming. In fact, the cons outweigh the pros on circumcision, because most of the pros are indeed false. The major con of circumcision is the fact that it reduces the penis's sensitivity by a great deal, first by removing nerves in the foreskin, then by the constant rubbing of the tender glans on the clothing. Also, the rate of circumcision is declining in America, as more and more people are realizing that it is useless and doctors no longer recommend it. So he will be better off in his generation if he actually has his foreskin. Tell you husband this, and encourage him to research it, both sides thoroughly, and he will most likely come to these same conclusions. I hope you allow your son to remain intact, and I hope your husband can see why he should, if not for the sake of giving your son the choice to do with it what he wants when he grows up.

Answer 8

sorry but don't listen to him. everybody knows circumcision is no longer necessary and he only wants it done because otherwise he would have to face up to his loss and would think that you think his penis is below standard etc. you are the mother and you can protect the kid should you have one. guys aren't bullied in america always when your partner was growing up probably 90% were circumcised well nowadays even in the us of a it is only 50% circumcised and if you go to england as you know almost nobody is cut. this will be a point of disagreement if you have a male baby together but you just shouldn't budge on your opinion, don't hurt your kid, he will come round to it.

Answer 9

I moved from Europe to the US as a kid and grew up uncircumcised. I personally hated not being circumcised. I was always ashamed of having that silly extra foreskin and looking like an ant eater. Although I was never actually teased, the circumcised guys always thought they were superior and I couldn't help but agree. It's cleaner and looked better (not like a 'dog'). An uncircumcised penis, no matter how much you clean it, does collect smegma and has a faint odor because the head is always moist. This was something I became embarrassed about and did not want to have to share with a woman. I stopped taking any gym classes so I could avoid the locker room and avoided dating. I became overweight and didn't have much self confidence. I eventually got circumcised at age 20 and was glad I did. I did not lose any 'sensation'. The only difference is that is was a lot cleaner and looked better. I felt better about my body and started exercising. I gained self confidence, started having a lot more 'successful' dates, and most importantly I stopped thinking about it.

But not circumcising at birth you leave the decision up to the boy himself as he grows up which sounds great if they actually feel comfortable making that decision. Realistically though, how many teenage boys feel comfortable going up to their parents to ask to be circumcised. You'll see some post from a teenage boy on YA almost everyday wishing he was circumcised and not wanting to talk to his parents. Instead they all wait till they're 18 or older and will have spent their sexually awakening years wishing to be circumcised.

I'm married and if we were to have a boy I would personally circumcise him for 2 reasons. First off is that it's a lot cleaner and the lifetime medical benefits that come with that (as is discussed all over the web). Secondly, it's not that big a difference and I would not want him to spend his teenage years having to deal with what I had to. As far as all the arguments against it, I personally found no real loss of sensation, it's just different. Having had it removed, I found the foreskin just a pointless piece of skin that only serves to breed bacteria. I just don't understand what all the hoopla is about.

If you decide not to circumcise your son, please talk to him about it at an early age and be very open about. Meaning if he does decide to want to get circumcised that he feels comfortable asking for it and that you follow his wishes.

Answer 10

The USA is the last western nation still doing this to around half of its baby boys and it’s done horribly without anaesthetic based on the long-outdated belief that babies don’t feel pain. Even there the rates are falling and no boy born now is ever likely to be teased for being intact. Half his mates are likely to have foreskins and if he is educated about what the others have lost he is likely to feel superior (justifiably) rather than inferior.

Using surgery to mutilate the genitals instead of washing in a modern western society makes no sense. Normal intact male genitals are, if anything, easier to wash than female ones and the same substance, smegma collects in the folds of both sorts.

Since its introduction into the west as an anti-masturbation measure in the 19th century, circumcision proponents have trotted out endlessly changing justifications for the procedure, as earlier ones are disproved. Most of these proposed reasons have later been proved to be based on flawed studies but the myths continue. Even if the claims for benefit were accepted the level of any protection from disease is so low as to be easily outweighed by the risks involved in the surgery. A few babies even die each year from circumcision complications and some lose their penis from necrotic infection. More common complications of infant circumcision, like skin bridges or too much skin removed, do not show up until much later in life. So the statistics do not include them in the complication rate. (A penis with a skin bridge is much harder to clean and causes major sexual difficulties.) However even on these artificially lowered statistics, ALL the major medical authorities in the world now say that these risks outweigh the dubious benefits of routine infant circumcision. THEY THEREFORE DO NOT RECOMMEND ROUTINE INFANT CIRCUMCISION ANYMORE.

Circumcision removes over half the skin of the penis (about 15 square inches or 40 square centimetres, in an adult) and it's not just simple skin. It's packed with nerve endings, special anatomical features like the ridged band and has a unique elastic gliding action, allowing it to slide on itself and act like lube. This action is what most males use to masturbate with except those who are cut so tightly that they have to use lube or just rub it dry. Of course the intact male has the option to use lube too if he wants to. During intercourse it acts like lube on entry and may act as a dam, preventing lubricating secretions escaping from the vagina. In one study women reported that sex with an intact partner was gentler and more satisfying since he doesn't have to thrust as hard to feel enough stimulation. Removing the foreskin turns the surface of the glans from an inner mucosal membrane to outside skin. Newly circumcised adults usually go through some weeks of intense discomfort as the glans is constantly exposed to rubbing on clothing, until it develops a thicker keratin layer and becomes less sensitive. A new study has shown real differences in fine touch sensitivity between circumcised and intact penises and that the most sensitive parts of the intact penis are those that would be removed by circumcision.

A few intact males have problems with tight foreskin but this is only a tiny proportion of intact males. The condition can now be almost always treated with simple stretching exercises, sometimes in combination with a steroid cream that speeds up the process. However doctors who do not value the preservation of the foreskin often still trot out circumcision as a first-option treatment in the US and even some other countries.

I myself am circumcised. I have hated it ever since as a 12 year old I saw a mate masturbating with a foreskin and realised a little of what I had lost. Many men resent being circumcised, some so much that they stretch to try and regain some of their lost foreskin's function. They can never recover all the complex anatomy and lost nerve endings though. Infant circumcision is a violation of a man's right to intact genitals and I will never forgive my parents and the medical profession for doing it to me.

Source(s):

http://www.circumstitions.com/index.html
http://www.circinfo.org/
http://www.historyofcircumcision.net/
http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.o…
http://www.cirp.org/

Answer 11

You have to make a decision together. If you do have kids with him and have a boy talk to your doctor to make an informed decision. Health wise I don't think it makes a huge difference either way. My fiance is not circumcised his rule of thumb is you go by the dad if he is then circumcise the baby if not then don't. I don't have a preference either way so I have no problem if we ever have a boy not circumcising him. I also would mind if we did that.

Answer 12

strangely enough we were disscussin this is a bar the other week. ( I am based in Scotland) and was under the impression that hardly any men were circumcised here... i certianly hadnt noticed any.. and my friends hadnt mentioned it. Once this subject was brought up i found that from the 7 men at the table 5 were circumcised and a lot of their friends not present were to. I think this is done a lot more in Britian these days than is mentioned. Perhaps this was a strange coincidence but apparently the kids are more teased in the showers than the circumcised boys.
I dont have children and i dont have a penis but if I was to give advice mine would be that kids will be picked on for anthing, glasses, braces, spots etc - if it is something oyu really dont wish for then i doubt the teasing will be any worse than the above problems for teens. But this is something only you and your husband can decide. I would go for it if i was you.. do it while he is young and it is less of a problem.

Answer 13

I am also a british female and have a strong preference for uncircumcised penises. In my experience they are more sensitive and more natural. Like most british people, I believe that the only reason for circumcison is dire medical need. I wouldn't circumcise a child- I have seen clips showing the procedure and it was horrible.

My friend who is circumcised really regrets the fact that he was - he had to be done when he was 8 and he has virtually no feeling on the head of his penis at all, although not all circumcised men are that way at all. However, they are generally slightly less sensitive.

My circumcised friend growing up in the UK is very self conscious about being circumcised and did get teased about it at school becasue it is not the norm here, so teasing can work both ways. By the time any potential son of yours is born, the rates of circumcision in the US will have dropped to less than half, so your son should not experience what your partner went through.

Answer 14

Well the trend has turned and in fact if you were to circumcise your son, he would more than likely be bullied for the opposite. Most boys these days are not being circumcised. Most doctors will not perform circumcisions anymore due to the unnecessary surgery.

Answer 15

I'm un-cut and i'm proud to show my member to any woman wanting to see it. There is nothing wrong with being natural as most men are born with a normal penis with foreskin. Don't play God just because stastics tell you that people get infections if they are uncut. This is ignorance because instead of teaching parents to teach their kids to take proper showers and clean the penis properly, the people in charge of medicine and social issues tell the masses the statistics to enable an easy fix for control of diseases and health problems. If your junk is dirty, wash it! If you don't wash, you will get that cottage cheese looking stuff which smells nasty. You can avoid that by washing and being a clean person...or you can lose sexual advantages and get cut. Also, shouldn't your child have a choice in the matter? I'm glad my parents gave me the choice. Also from a parent's perspective, usually no matter what you do for your kids, while they are growing up, they will hate you because they are awkward until they become mature adults... just do the best you can and hope for the best.

Source(s):

Goodluck

Answer 16

Ziggy thats Bull crap! there isn't any benefit to having a child circumcised unless medically necessary. He is trying to pull the wool over your eyes. You were right in your statement. Stick to your guns. Its a known fact that women prefer the uncircumcised penis to one that is circumcised, as there is a hell of a lot less irritation to the vigina when having sex. And also the male penis that is uncircumcised has much more sensitivity on the head. What and hell does being bullied have to do with a mans penis ? He must of been a whimp is all I can say. It use to be a common thing, but the american medical association has determined after all the boy's were put though the pain there is no medical benefit, unless when he gets older he needs it because of the size of the penis, and the foreskin is excessively tight. We were dialiated instead of cut. I think they took tomush off your boyfriend, and it affected his mind. Don't do it! Let your son make that decision on his own if needed! Good lUck!

Answer 17

Don't mutilate your child.
How about cutting your partner's eyelids off, or his ear lobes, or his nuts ?

Answer 18

I am an American woman and I think circumcision is barbaric. There are lots of good answers in this thread. The best thing for your son is to allow him to grow up whole and to have a choice about how he wants his body to look. Kids gwet teased for tons of reasons, at least if someone is teasing about his penis its easy to get a few shots back (nobody wants to be caught looking at another boys penis) If he has big ears would your partner want to have them surgically fixed so he wouldn't be teased? As for the health benefits, there are NO health benefits besides that he can't get any foreskin problems because he has no foreskin. Thats sort of like pulling his teeth out so he can't get cavities. It's silly. Some (flawed) research shows that 1 in 100 intact infants may get a UTI, but those can be treated with anitbiotics (indeed the rate for girls is higher). There is a much higher rate of complications in infants who have been circumcised- 10 in 100 get meatal stenosis? and there is a 12 in 100 risk of MRSA from the open wound. The statistics don't make sense. If you buy that there are benefits to sexual health (lower penile cancer rates, HPV, HIV whatever) well, he won't be getting any of those until he is a sexually active adult. When he's a sexually active adult he'll be old enough to decide for himself if circumcision is the superior choice. It doesn't "prevent" anything that can't be avoided with soap and condoms. your husband was planning on telling your son about soap and condoms, yes? Thought so. Stand your ground. Your husband is wrong. Men often don't want to realise that they've been harmed, but his inability to see this doesn't mean you should harm your son. -Neb

Answer 19

the jewish faith, among others, believe a boy should be cicumcised, I do not dissagree with their beliefs, though I personaly think a boy should be left to develop as nature had intended him, if a little boy was not meant to have a foreskin then mother nature would not have given him one in the first place. Both my boys are still intact, and unless they choose otherwise when they get older, that is how they shall stay.

Answer 20

Since your "partner" has had a Vasectomy I am not sure why you are worried about it. But anyway tell him that Americans are backward hillbillies and you don't circumcise in the U.K.

Answer 21

http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/

http://www.viafin-atlas.com/wmv/senslip_video.wmv


Dont do it. the foreskin is given to men for a reason would you be mad if they cut your clitoris?

Answer 22

This is a common argument between couples where the circumcised man wants his son to undergo the same operation, and the woman doesn't. It has been shown again and again there are no medical reasons for circumcision and as a British person you probably know that all the intact men don't drop dead from foreskin infections, nor do they all have bad hygiene etc.

So there is no reason to submit a baby to all that pain and irreversible surgery. They should be allowed to make their own decision. If you do have a child then stick to your guns and don't change your mind to please him. He's never had a foreskin that he remembers so what does he know? I agree with the person who says that if you don't want to circumcise a son he would feel that's you saying his penis is sub-standard. Reassure him it's not like that but that you don't feel comfortable getting surgery on a healthy baby when the baby isn't old enough to make up their own mind.

You say you want to do the best thing for your son - leaving him intact, with all his body parts and the choic about which ones, if any, to remove, would be the best thing for him. Circumcising your son would be the best thing for your husband. But it's not his penis!

Answer 23

I DO NOT THINK THAT THERE IS HARM IN IT.

Answer 24

I'm uncircumsized and it can be a little embarasing when having sexual relations with a girl to show her that but it is up to you I'd say they are better off circumsized.