The wedding vowels??

Question

hey sorry me again!! i know i've asked a few questions today but you guys are the best at getting answers from!!!

So when wedding vowels are said what legally has to be said in order for you to get married. For example i'm not overly keen on the "obey" part. I'll love him, i'll cherish him, be faithful ect ect ect but i dont think i could honestly say i'm going to obey him. I take marriage seriously and i only going to get married once in my life and i want to honeslty mean everything that i say. Can you get this part removed from the vowels or is compulsary???

Additional Details

oopss ok so i cant spell, VOWS VOWS VOWS think i might remember that now lol thanks everyone!!!!1

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Oh, honey, it's "VOWS"...

but to answer your question, the vow isn't the legal part of the marriage. It's the "I do's" that matter.

Good luck !

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

thanks for the "oh honey" part. Was a much nicer way of pointing out i cant spell lol

Answer 2

just go with "cherish" - no one uses "obey" anymore, unless that's something they want to have. Many people choose to write their own modern vows now, and you can find a ton of vows on the internet. Speak now with your officiant - some of them have several different ones they use, that you can choose from as well - work on putting together a ceremony that reflects the two of you

Answer 3

First, its vows, not vowels (thats 'a','e','i','o', and 'u').

There are no legal requirements on vows. I don't even think you have to actualy say vows, other than to say that you agree to marry each other. If you get married at the justice of the peace (the government office), they probably have the standard pre-written vows, but ifyou just go there for the documentation and hold the wedding elsewhere, you can say anything you want.

Answer 4

Just as an FYI... they are called "vows", not "vowels", but on to the question.

I do believe you can have the "obey" part removed from the vows. I personally don't agree with that line either. You should be equals in the relationship, not one above the other. I believe the only thing mandatory is the question of "Do you?" and the answer of "I do".

Good luck.

Answer 5

Does he honestly think you should obey him? That's the real question here regardless if you have it in your vows or not.

Others have written their own custom vows. I suggest you do the same which will make it more meaningful and unique than something already scripted tons have said before you.

Answer 6

I don't think there is a legal requirement for the VOWS I think you just have to have a person licensed by the state to say "You are married"

I took the 'obey' out of my wedding vows but we kept them in on my husbands half....lol

Answer 7

Our vows didn't mention anything about obey. We promised to remain close in our souls and to be each others best friends. The wording of the vows isn't set in stone--it's a function of your religious tradition or something you write yourself.

Answer 8

I don't think anyone has the "obey" part anymore unless you ask to include it. Your officiant will give you a copy of what version he/she uses. If you would like things altered discuss that with him/her.

Answer 9

you dont have to obey in fact you can ommit it. you could still have him promis to love honour and obey you ;)


i wont tell you then that its vows and not vowels. :)

Answer 10

Wedding Vows! Vowels are AEIOU.

For a chruch wedding you may not have a choice but the best bet is to talk to who is marring you and see what your options are. Its all workable!

Answer 11

Actually they're called wedding VOWS, now vowels. A vowel is a e i o u.

Your vows can contain whatever you like. Work with your officiant to conform the wedding to what the two of you want.

Answer 12

Check with your officiant, but many officiants have changed the vows slightly to go with modern times, so you might be worrying over nothing.

Answer 13

You can say whatever you want in the wedding vows. I think the wedding vowels are A -E - I- O- U and depending on the words you choose for your vows, they will probably show up

Answer 14

I think you mean VOWS. They can be anything you desire, in fact you can write your own.

Answer 15

Many churches under request will change obey to respect.

Good luck and congratulations.

Answer 16

You can have it removed, it's perfectly ok.

HOWEVER, let me explain & share one tiny little thing with you before you do that:

When i married my ex-husband I had that part taken out, because I was sitting there thinking "obey??? Yeah right? He's not my "master". "

We divorced, and I never really thought much else about it until i Met my BF. And I realized something with him. When you Truly LOVE a man and that man truly loves you, everything changes. That man, as part of his vows is swearing to love you, honor you, protect you, guide you, and always act as the "head of the household" always doing what is in your best interest. Part of these vows, if you have a religious ceremony, is him taking the responsibility to be the spiritual head of the house and to "love you like GOD loves the church".

You as the woman, when you are promising to obey him, it's not so much of a "yes master" type of obeying. It's obeying him because you know full heartedly that you love this man and this man loves you more than anything else in the world, and will always have YOUR best interest in mind.

We women these days have become strong, but deep down, we still WANT a man to protect us. In order for them to protect us, we have to be able to TRUST that everything they do, they do in our best interest.

So in the same sense that he promises to Love us like God loves the church, we are to obey him like man is to obey God. We "obey" God so easily, but we do because we have faith in knowing he always knows what is best for us and would never lead us down the wrong path or abuse that power.

When you can love a man in a similar way, it's truly an amazing thing.

So stop and ask yourself what that "obey" means to you, and why it is that you have such a hard time with saying it.

My BF made me realize all of this...not by anything he has said, but purely by his actions!!! If he told me to jump of of a 20' cliff with him, I would (exaggeration) because I would know that there was some logical reasoning for it, and i would know that he was acting in our best interest. I would know all of this without ever questioning him either, because he has shown me time and time again that he is ALWAYS looking out for me.