What should I do about my 3 year old constantly wanting to sleep with us?

Question

My almost 3 and a half year old daughter has gotten into a habit for the past few months where she has been having "nightmares" or waking up at around 11 or 12 and coming to our room to sleep in the middle. The first few times I let her because I thought that it would pass and was just a one time thing, but now that it's happening almost every night I'm getting concerned. My husband thinks we should just let her cry it out and tell her "no you have your own bed," but she shares a room with our 5 year old who goes to school early in the morning and can't be kept up half the night. So, I usually give in and let her sleep in our bed. I am aware that it's not healthy to have her in my bed so often, and it's also for obvious privacy reasons for the two of us. I'm also having a baby in November and can't afford to have her up half the night too. What should I do?

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Do what my husband and I did. This same exact thing happened to us. It took 2 nights of doing this. Claire kept saying there's "dirt" in my bed...or "Dirt get me" Obviously there was no dirt in her bed. So we had to get up with her, turn on her big light(she has a lamp we keep on all night now) take her out of the crib and actually SHOW her there is nothing there, with much patience,Consistency is the Key, she would wake up 5,6 times a night wanting to come to mamas bed. We kept showing her over and over, and telling her that she is a big girl and big girls sleep in their own bed. Now she occasionally wakes up but never asks to come to our bed. She even says "I go to my bed, not mommy and daddys bed." You can't keep giving in. Or you will be miserable especially when the baby comes. I let Claire sleep with us until she was 1. It was so hard for me to let her cry, when she went to her own bed. I sleep like a baby now, and have the patience for her during the day.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Thank you! I'll definitely try this tonight (hopefully we wont need to). I'll tell her we can snuggle and what not, but no sleeping in our bed!

Answer 2

you have to put your foot down. I know that your oldest child has school in the mornings, but couldnt you comfort her when she is in her own room? If you dont take her into your room, then she will learn, that mummy will cuddle her, and put her back in her own bed. Worth a try.

You could also think about gettin her a nightlight too.

Answer 3

very tough habit to break but if you stick out (with the crying) it should only take a few bad nights before she gets it and sleeps in her own bed.

Good book by Farber (?) on this.

Answer 4

consider laying with her until she falls back asleep. I do this with my 3 year old.