Do you like this poem?

Question

You brought me sunshine,
when I omly saw rain.
You brought me laughter,
when I only felt pain.

Romantics at heart,
love at first sight,
have I known you before?
God this feels so right.

Have I met you before?
Nother' time, nother place?
If it's only one night,
will it bring us disgrace?

What are these feelings?
Must they be temporary?
Just to make you happy,
seems so necessary.

I want you to know,
that I will never forget,
knowing your smile,
your kisses, and yet.

Dreams are something ,
that don't always come true,
nothing more we can say,
nothing more we can do.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

It's an honest poem from the heart. There are several things you could do to improve the poem, but I sense you simply wanted some feedback on whether or not we "liked" it, so I'll refrain from suggestions. What I will say is this: your voice is good, so is your ear. For future poems, I'd suggest you try to extend your lines a little more to keep them from getting too choppy, and reconsider the use of punctuation at the end of each line...for the most part, it's unnecessary because the line break already serves as a pause. Your technique shows that you have some experience writing poetry, but if you want to improve your art, you'll need to keep working at it. There's a natural tenderness to your writing that comes across quite nicely, so your communication skills are fine...you just need to fine tune your skills a little more and you'll be even better.

...keep writing.

Source(s):

Editor, New Poets Press

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

thanks so much

Answer 2

I like it. I definitely don't like the first stanza though, it's been written a million times before:) But other than that:D

Answer 3

it's sweet..