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At least you have a husband & it would appear in your question that the kids also have a dad,,, well sort-of but it also appears that he may be dropping the ball a little.
My Wife & I make very effective use of the "Good-parent Bad-parent" technique.
She's the Bad-parent that typically has to Beg our two kids to behave,
And I'm the Good-one that seldom has to 'Tell' them to more than once,
But we also occasionally switch roles to keep the adorable diabolically clever little house-monkeys too off balance to try running an end-around & playing two-sides against the middle.
So unless your Husband is just a Date that worked out allowing him to hang around with nothing to do but sleep with you & pay the bills as long as he avoids pissing anybody off including your children,
I'd personally recommend getting on the same page & staying on the same side.
Witch is of-course the Kid's side whether they know it or not and Back each-other up.
And even if you happen to disagree about technique & methodology for heaven's sake work that out & agree to disagree AWAY from the adorable diabolically clever house-monkeys so-as to stay ahead of the little beastie's affinity for cleverly exploiting two-sides against the middle witch typically confuses their presumption of who's in charge & control of anything including their behavior since they no-less typically live & breath in a common elusion that it's somehow 'Them' anyway.
1. Always trust but verify,
& never take either pair of eyes off of kids in the monster-phase of development or anything the least bit potentially damageable because if you don't you might just as well just let Pugsley & Wednesday play with sharp objects & explosives & burn your world down on top of you.
2. Never replace busted toys,, especially the expensive kind.
SuperDad can fix anything & everything, and anything that Can't be fixed? oops! tough-luck Love, guess you shouldn't-o-busted it huh...
3. Anything of Yours or of the House they break rates a Pounding & Grounding with less pounding on kids & more pounding on the weight of Grounding.
Witch makes TVs, smartphones & video-games & such like in kid's rooms the Devil distracting them from any consequent situational wariness that they've even been grounded at-all with no paroles or commutations except on furlough to do a chore.
4. You & your Husband married 'Each-other' for better or worse till death does one or the other of you part, Not your children.
Children are just a fact of life far-removed from pie in the sky poetry about birds & bees & cabbage-leaves and an amusingly bothersome diversion until such a time as kids can be legally shown the door & a shot fired over their heads to make sure they're properly motivated to not come back & ask for money or live in the basement after effectively turning their rooms into a den , or a sewing room, storage closet ANTHING but an extra bedroom! Because responsible parenting is neither a Right or Privilege or a job or even a responsibility,,it's a Gift of life you gave yourself that just keeps on giving.
Think my seemingly archaic answer is too harsh & too much work for Millennial parenting in the 21st Century?
Whatever,, thumb down me then.
After all, you & your husband are the grownups & can do whatever you want.
And apparently, so can your kids.
So good luck.
And may the entities of providence have mercy on your souls.12 AnswersFamily1 day ago