Extra marital affairs are never solutions and should never be options. What she doesn't know may not hurt her, but YOU will know, and if you are a decent human being with any sense of compassion, honor, and morality, it will certainly hurt YOU. You will feel like a lousy human being. The sex would only be a...
Best answer: Extra marital affairs are never solutions and should never be options. What she doesn't know may not hurt her, but YOU will know, and if you are a decent human being with any sense of compassion, honor, and morality, it will certainly hurt YOU. You will feel like a lousy human being. The sex would only be a temporary distraction from your real problems, and in the end, it will only add to the strain on your marriage, because again, you will carry the baggage of knowing that you did the wrong thing.
If the only thing keeping you from getting a divorce is the fact that she did not sign a prenup, this is not a valid reason to stay in the marriage. It is not fair to either one of you. There may be sacrifices that come with ending the marriage, there usually are, but if it is a completely loveless marriage, you should value yourself enough to be willing to make those sacrifices in order to be true to yourself and not live a lie. Again, a loveless marriage is unfair to the both of you. As far as the children, it is not up to your wife whether or not you have a relationship with the children. This will be up to a judge, and as long as you are a good father and have done nothing to demonstrate that you are unfit, there is no way a judge would deny you, at the very least, court mandated visitation, and best case scenario, joint custody. It is also unfair for your children to grow up in a home with a loveless marriage. Children are more keen to these things than people realize. Children deserve to grow up in a happy home, and if the marriage is only a sense of obligation and duty, this is not a happy home, and there is no doubt, strain in which the children can see and sense.
If you still love your wife and if there is any part of you that wants the marriage to work, you must COMMUNICATE. Tell your wife how you are feeling. Some women can lose their sex drive due to certain medical issues. Your wife should make an appointment with her physician, and make him/her aware of her lack of sex drive, and get a full medical workup. The problem could lie in something as simply as a hormonal imbalance, deficiency, or some other very easily treatable condition. You should insist that your wife also agree to counseling, because clearly, you both need it, as there seems to be a major breakdown in communication. If your wife refuses to take any steps toward repairing the marriage, and shows no consideration for your feelings, then you should certainly consider your options as far as ending the marriage. Speak to an attorney so that you are aware of your rights and options. But again, do not have an extra marital affair. Wait until you are no longer bound in marriage before you begin any type of new relationship, sexual or otherwise. It's just the right thing to do. Good luck.