For privacy reasons, I'm not gonna use real names. Sue = my girlfriend, Mike = Sue's ex, Betty = Sue's friend, Fred = other friend. Fred and Betty are siblings.
Sue is depressed because of her relationship with Mike and the break up. Mike was controlling and emotionally abusive towards sue. I've heard accusations that Mike is a woman beater, but I've known him for years (and heard the accusations for years) and have yet to see any evidence of it. Sue doesn't want Mike back because of this, but she doesn't want to forget him either. When Mike left Sue, his public story was he didn't have time to date. He started dating again within a month of leaving Sue. Mike told me Sue was screwing around behind his back, this I know is not true.
When Sue met my brother I was worried about losing her, because he could easily steal her from me. Sue pressed me to tell her what was wrong, and I told her what Mike told me. I wish I didn't, it might have prevented all of this. Sue was telling Betty about it, and Fred told them Mike never said that. Sue and Betty found out later, that Mike has Fred lying for him.
Sue is going through a lot of crap right now. Sue tells me she needs to get past Mike, but doesn't want to forget him. She wants to do it on her own. I want to respect her wishes and let her do it on her own, but I can't sit by and watch her struggle with this either. What can I do to help her? Any help you can give me on this is greatly appreciated.