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  • Is this yet another excuse?

    For some time now my husband and my sex life has been non-exhistant.  We've probably onbly had sex twice this year.  He is constantly coming up with excuses as to why he doesn't want to have sex with me.  When we first met I weighed about 105 lbs, and this was after my 2 sons were born from my first husband.  Since we've been together about 17 years I've gained some almost 50 lbs if not more.  I was tired of being the skinny girl.  My husband says he doesn't find me sexually attractive anymore.  Lately I've been having some medical issues.  Pinched nerves in my back which affect my legs, heavy periods, fibroid tumors on my ovaries, and now I'm facing a possibly hysterectomy.  When I brought up the issue last night of us not having sex anymore he mentioned my health issues.  I feel like he's just not in love with me anymore and would rather not have sex with me.  I'm of the mindset that no matter what size you are and no matter what health issues a person still wants to be desired.  Yes, I'm trying to lose some weight but I refuse to go back to the weight I was when he met me.   

    6 AnswersMarriage & Divorce3 weeks ago
  • Does it matter what you eat as long as you eat?

    My husband and I have an arrangement that we alternate cooking nights so one person is not tasks with cooking every night.  Since we've been home under covid quarantine I'll usually order take out or have Grubhub or Postmates deliver something for dinner.  My husband is the one who prefers to get in the kitchen and actually cook a meal.  Last night was my night and when I got off at 4 I worked out a little then took a shower like I do every day.  When he got off at 6 I asked him what he wanted, pizza or a take out Philly Cheesesteak, I know he loves those.  He looked at me and said, "take out again, can't you just cook something?"  My mind is not on cooking much these days so I was a little hurt by it.  To me the issue is that we're eating.  I guess he wants me to go slave over a stove for a home cooked meal.  Does it matter what you eat compared to as long as you eat?  

    P.S. 

    I ordered him a cheesesteak and he ate about half of it and put the rest int he fridge for lunch today.  So I still didn't cook.

    15 AnswersMarriage & Divorce1 month ago
  • Why did he buy a privacy screen for his laptop?  What's he hiding?

    My husband works in our bedroom at his desk for his company.  He has his workstation on the desk but his personal laptop on a tray next to him.  His back is to the door so every time I walk by the bedroom or into it I can see what's on his screen.  A lot of the times it looks like he's watching videos or something like that.  I'll always ask him what's that or what are you watching and he seems to always have a problem with me asking.  I think it may be porn or something like that.  He never has the sound up.  Sometimes I think he hears me coming and I hear him clicking to another screen as I walk into the room.  The other day he bought one of those privacy screens so that you can't see what's actually on the laptop unless you're sitting right in front of it.  What's he hiding?

    2 AnswersMarriage & Divorce2 months ago
  • He expected me to carry it?

    My husband seems to think that his job is to not help me in any way.  He has this idea that if I make him cook dinner every other night that he shouldn't have to do things that typically men do anyway.  Last night I told him that I my car needed windshield washer fluid  so we stopped at AutoZone and I bought a gallon.  I paid for the fluid and while standing at the counter he starts talking to the guy about a part he needed for his car.  I asked him to grab the washer fluid and he pushed it towards me and kept talking to the guy about a part.  I looked at him like, "oh, you expect me to carry this?"  I grabbed the gallon jug and walked out the store mad.  When he finally comes out to the car I looked at him with an angry look on my face.  Most husbands would carry those heavy things for their wives but not mine.  

    9 AnswersMarriage & Divorce2 months ago
  • Can someone help me understand my payslip?

    I work for a large company and have been there over a year now. They recently hired several new employees. I've gotten friendly with one girl . She's probably 29 or 30 with young kids and one on the way. I'm in my late 40s. Today she sent me a message asking me to take a look at her pay stub to see if it was correct. When she emailed it to me I noticed that although she doesn't make as much as me her take home pay was more than $500 above what I take home. I claim 3 allowances on my pay stud while she claims zero. I have insurance and things coming out where as it appears that she has very little coming out. I guess I'm curious to know that while I make more and have more things coming out, pre-tax, why there is such a discrepancy in the take home pay amounts. Am I reading this wrong?

    3 AnswersLaw & Ethics2 months ago
  • Is my husband catfishing this guy?

    Several years ago my husband and I went through a financial rough patch and our cell phones were temporarily turned off. we downloaded texting apps so we could keep in touch. Now that we're past that I found out the other day that he still had the texting app on his phone and was texting someone. When I asked him who it was he said it was some guy who texted him thinking he was a younger white girl. So he's been texting back and forth with this guy for some time now pretending to be this girl. He even showed me the text msgs and he sent the guy a random pic of a girl in her 20s. I told him I did not approve of what he was doing and what if the guy shows up at our house looking to hook up with the white girl? He said that he's not given the guy any address and more importantly, he would never give the guy our address. He said he's just stringing the guy along letting him think he could get with this girl. Again I told him I did not approve of it. Now, every time I walk into the room and he's on his phone on this app he'll see me and close it or go to a game he likes to play. I think he's hiding something. What do you guys think? Is he really just having some fun with this guy or is it possibly more to it?

    6 AnswersMarriage & Divorce2 months ago
  • How long before I should cancel the order?

    On May 30th I ordered a t-shirt for my husband for Father's Day. I get those links all the time on Facebook and have ordered shirts in the past with no problem. Ever since them the order status keeps saying it's in printing and has not moved in 2 weeks. I've sent numerous emails requesting an update to my order but have gotten no reply. My husband really wants this shirt because it has the names of his two daughters and his 5 grandchildren on it. I can't seem to get a reply from the company and they don't have a phone number to contact them directly. You can only reach them through email. It's been more than 2 weeks since the shirt was ordered and I've not heard a thing. What should I do?

    1 AnswerOther - Business & Finance3 months ago
  • How was I wrong here?

    Last week a movie came out on Netflix that I really wanted to see. I told my husband that we could watch it Sunday. He said that since we're having the kids over for a Memorial Day cookout we could just watch it then. Monday came and the kids came over with a few if their friends and everyone was sitting down eating. His daughter grabbed the remote and turned on Netflix and they started watching some documentary about a girl who was sex trafficed. She killed a guy whom she thought was going to kill her and then did a bunch of time in jail before she was released. Every one was watching it but I was ready to watch my movie so I grabbed the remote and changed switched to the movie. My husband looked at me like I was crazy. He said that was rude. I told him that he said we'd watch the movie on Monday when everyone was there, so that's what I was doing. How was I wrong?

    6 AnswersMovies4 months ago
  • Is this strange behavior during this Covid crisis?

    Both my husband and I work from home right now and it seems that every day or every other day after my husband gets off work he has to get out of the house. He says he loves to just drive and get some fresh air. LAst night he didn't get off work till 8 then he sat down and ate dinner. Shortly after that around 9 or so he said he would be back. He was going to get some fresh air. It was pouring down rain but he came back about an hour later. I find that strange that he does this. Could he be up to something?

    7 AnswersMarriage & Divorce4 months ago
  • Should affection be scheduled?

    My husband and I have been together some 16+ years and he's never been an affectionate person. He doesn't hold my hand, snuggle with me, or give me hugs just because. We're in our early 50's and I'm to the point of ready to divorce him because of it. Today I told him that sometimes I just need a hug and that he is very lacking in the affection department. He said he doesn't mind giving me a hug but is it going to kill me when I want a hug to just ask for one? Yeah, I know some couples even schedule sex and that works for them but I don't want a calendar hanging on the way with "Thurs, hug at 5 PM." He says that he's willing to meet me half way but I have to be willing to compromise also. Why should I have to ask for a hug? Why can't he just give me one? He said that if I'm hungry I don't just sit there and wait for him to know I need something to eat. I'll tell him let's go get something to eat. So why, when I need a hug, can't I verbalize it to him? I feel that it takes away from the meaning if I have to ask for it instead of him just giving me one because he wants to not because I'm asking him to. Then he asks me how many hugs each week would make me happy? Again, if I give him a number then once he reaches that number I should be good until next week. Seriously!

    Should affection be scheduled? Am I wrong to think I should not have to ask for a hug?

    5 AnswersMarriage & Divorce4 months ago
  • Should affection be scheduled?

    My husband and I have been together some 16+ years and he's never been an affectionate person. He doesn't hold my hand, snuggle with me, or give me hugs just because. We're in our early 50's and I'm to the point of ready to divorce him because of it. Today I told him that sometimes I just need a hug and that he is very lacking in the affection department. He said he doesn't mind giving me a hug but is it going to kill me when I want a hug to just ask for one? Yeah, I know some couples even schedule sex and that works for them but I don't want a calendar hanging on the way with "Thurs, hug at 5 PM." He says that he's willing to meet me half way but I have to be willing to compromise also. Why should I have to ask for a hug? Why can't he just give me one? He said that if I'm hungry I don't just sit there and wait for him to know I need something to eat. I'll tell him let's go get something to eat. So why, when I need a hug, can't I verbalize it to him? I feel that it takes away from the meaning if I have to ask for it instead of him just giving me one because he wants to not because I'm asking him to. Then he asks me how many hugs each week would make me happy? Again, if I give him a number then once he reaches that number I should be good until next week. Seriously!

    Should affection be scheduled? Am I wrong to think I should not have to ask for a hug?

    7 AnswersMarriage & Divorce4 months ago
  • Why does he procrastinate?

    The other day we get a notice from our cable provider that if the bill is not paid within the next 48 hours they are going to disconnect the service. This morning I'm working in the kitchen and my husband is still in the bed because his workday doesn't begin for a few hours. I send him a text to say that we need to go half and half on the cable bill to avoid it being disconnected in the next 24 hours. I get no response from him. 15 minutes later I walk in the bedroom and he's laying there watching tv. I look at him and he looks back at me. I say, "Uh, did you get my text?" His reply was, "yeah I got it." I then ask him what we're going to do and he said we don't have to pay it "right now" so what's the big deal. He said it'll be paid before the service is disconnected but it's not like the cable service sent an email to say that if it's not paid in the next 20 minutes we're turning you off. I got paid today but he doesn't get paid till tomorrow. I like to pay the bills when I get those notifications and he doesn't understand that. He tends to procrastinate. No the cable isn't off but why wait till the last minute to pay anything.

    7 AnswersMarriage & Divorce4 months ago
  • Husband won't walk with me?

    During this time of quarantining and staying at home my husband and I have been literally stuck together nearly 24/7. We're both working from home. I get off at 4 and he gets off at 6. Yesterday he had the day off so he was in and out all day running errands and things. When I got off work I wanted him to go with me for a walk. He said he didn't want to go for a walk. I asked him why he didn't want to go walk with me and he said his knees hurt and he doesn't have any walking shoes. Yes, my husband has problems with his knees but I think that if he started walking they might feel better. He said we've never just gotten out and walked before so why now? I just want to get ou to the house. He told me to take the dog and go ahead. We actually have a park 1/2 a mile away from our house. I think he just doesn't want to walk with me. Am I wrong?I told him that he has been denying me long enough and I'm tired of it.

    15 AnswersMarriage & Divorce5 months ago
  • What's he hiding?

    Working from home can be a chore for some. My husband works in the bedroom with his work computer on our desk. For a while he'd have his personal laptop sitting next to him on a couple of dinner trays. The laptop on one tray and the external keyboard on a second tray. The way he had them I could walk by and see his screen from the hall.. This week I've noticed that he's adjusted his setup to now have the laptop right next to the keyboard so I can't just walk by and see what he's doing on his laptop. My husband has the tendency to watch porn from time to time and I've walked by and saw a clip on his screen. No, not all the time or when he's on the clock but he does watch it. Today when I asked him why he changed and he said he likes this set up better. Is he just trying to hide his screen from me now? Most of the time he's playing one of his Facebook games like Candy Crush or something like that on his laptop but I feel he's just doing this so I can't see his screen. I work in the kitchen at the table and he says that his set up in the bedroom shouldn't have any bearing on where or not I can see his screen. That's how he wants it so why does it matter to me. What is he hiding?

    1 AnswerMarriage & Divorce5 months ago
  • Is it wrong to want to be with your spouse in times like these?

    Both my husband and I are working from home now and When I get off at 4 he's still working till 6. When he is done we usually sit down and eat dinner together then watch some TV. Last night I wanted to watch a movie but he didn't really care for that. He mentioned that we have a few shows saved on the DVR we could watch. My immediate response was "oh, we can watch something you want to watch but not anything I want to watch?" Yeah, I like watching movies where as he is not a big movie person. Why doesn't he understand that I just want to spend time with him. He's big on wood working so he's about to start a new project and his mind was on lumber and measurements. I know that when he gets started on that I am second fiddle to any wood working project he's got going on. He keeps telling me that I need a hobby or a girlfriend I can call and talk to. I'd much rather be with him but I don't think he wants to be with me all that much. Am I wrong to want to be with my husband during this crisis?

    7 AnswersMarriage & Divorce5 months ago
  • He manscapped, should I have known about it?

    Yesterday my husband was in the bathroom cutting his hair and about to jump in the shower. He has a set of electric clippers and he usually cuts all the hair off his head. He also has several guards that he used to trim his beard. When I walked into the bathroom I noticed that he had trimmed his "area" and it was almost bald. I asked him why he did that and he said when he looked down and saw it was a little out of control he decided to trim it. I was a little taken aback by it because he didn't tell me he was going to do it. He showered and got out. I then showered a little while later. When I got out the shower I asked him about it and he seemed to catch an attitude about it saying he's already answered the question and why don't I believe him. He said women shave and trim all the time but the minute a guy does it it's suspect. I just feel that's something I, as a wife, should or would want to know. He said that he doesn't need my permission to shave his face or cut his hair so why does he need my permission or approval to trim his "area"? Am I wrong? Isn't this something a girl would want to know?

    30 AnswersMarriage & Divorce5 months ago
  • Was he wrong to cancel our anniversary vacation?

    My husband's and my's anniversary was a few weeks ago. Several months ago we booked a few days away in Charleston, SC. We've been there before but have been wanting to go back. Now with the Covid crisis that vacation is up in limbo. He's been wanting to cancel it because we're supposed to go in June and we have until a date in May to cancel without being charged anything. I just found out today that my husband has already cancelled the vacation. He said that this covid situation is not going away anytime soon so there's no need in is trying to go anywhere in 2 months. It's not like there's going to be a vaccine soon and everyone will just return to doing what they normally do. I'm highly upset because he never discussed with me about cancelling the vacation. He just did it on his own. What should I do?

    13 AnswersMarriage & Divorce5 months ago
  • When he's mad?

    How is it that when my husband and I aren't speaking or we're mad at each other he has no problem emailing or texting with family members? He's not a morning person and I guess this morning he woke on the wrong side of the bed so when I wanted to talk, he didn't. That put him in a mood all morning. While he was working I noticed that he's been emailing his sister all day and they are having long conversations. Or he'll get a text from his family group text and that will seem to put a smile on his face but I annoy him. When I'm mad I don't want to talk to anyone. He, on the other had, has no problem talking to other people when we're not speaking. Why?

    3 AnswersMarriage & Divorce5 months ago
  • Do I not have a right to know where he's going?

    My husband has this idea that he feels like that since he's a grown man of 50 he can just up and leave the house when he feels like it and not say anything to me. This morning I was working at my desk in the kitchen and he doesn't have to report to work until 11 so he was still laying in bed. He gets up, showers, dresses, and walks out the house. When I run to the front porch he's almost in he truck. I look at him strange and he steps out of the truck to say, "What?" I ask him where he's going and he said he's going to the store. I turn and walk back in the house. He comes home a couple of hours later and i question him on why he couldn't tell me where he was going instead of just walking out. He looks at me and says, "there's no need in bringing this back up because before I left the driveway I told you where I was going so why bring it up now." Then I question him why it took so long and yes, although he came in with a couple of grocery bags from a few stores that still didn't account for 2 hours. He then says that he told me earlier in the week he was going to go by and see his grandbabies since he hadn't seen them in a while. Yeah, but he didn't say that to me this morning.

    He then turns the conversation on me and said that this morning I got up, showered, dressed and left the house and he didn't run after me to ask where I was going. He knew I was going down the street to get a cup of coffee. I did it yesterday morning as well.

    7 AnswersMarriage & Divorce5 months ago
  • Is he hiding something?

    My husband and I are working from home. Him in the bedroom at the desk for his job and me in the kitchen for mine. I get off at 4 so I decided to make a cake. I walk into the bedroom to ask my husband a question and he's on the phone with a customer. His phone was in his hand and his text message app was open. When he saw me behind him he closed the app. I look at him and turn to walk out. A few minutes later he comes in the kitchen to ask me did I need something and at that point I didn't want to talk. He pressures me and I finally ask him why he closed his app when he saw me. He said that he was texting with his daughters and he was done with the conversation. Then he asks me what I wanted but at that point I didn't want anything. What is he hiding?

    4 AnswersMarriage & Divorce5 months ago