My wife and I were married last year in New England. Among the people we invited to our wedding were my wife's five aunts and some of their kids. My wife has an aunt Jenny. Jenny has a daughter named Lisa, who is in her late 20's. Jenny has total control over Lisa. When Jenny says jumps, Lisa says "how high and when, Mom?"
Lisa lives in the Deep South and was going to fly up the day of our wedding. Jenny is scared of everything that moves. On the day of Lisa's flight and our wedding, Jenny got spooked by something. Weather was not an issue because it was sunny and clear up and down the East Coast that day. Jenny called Lisa and told her not to come. Lisa canceled her flight, stayed home and probably locked herself in her closet. I think that she was not coming in the first place. If she did not want to go, then she should have told us from the beginning and that would have been no problem. I more than understand last minute things come up. My gut tells me she had no intention of coming.
This summer, Lisa is getting married and her mother is throwing the United Sates equivalent of the Royal Wedding. My wife and I have been invited. It is a four hour drive at the end of my vacation week and we will be driving through awful traffic to get to our destination, which is in a major New England tourist area.
My wife wants to go because she is close to this cousin. If she wants to go, then she should by all means go. I do not want to go because I do not believe that Lisa was ever going to come to our wedding. I am resentful that Jenny told her daughter not to come to our wedding and is now expecting (demanding) that we go to her daughter's wedding. There is a huge double standard here, which either my wife does not see or sees and chooses to ignore.
I very grudgingly agreed to go but I am obviously reconsidering. We have not yet received the invitation and the wedding is a few months away. My wife is saying that if I don't want to go, then I should not go because she does not want me to be there and be miserable, which has happened in at her family events the past and has caused both of us to stress out and not enjoy the day. But then she adds "but let's 'negotiate' " I see the word "negotiate" as meaning " you will be there and smiling." I do not believe she is sincere in what she said and there really is no climate for negotiation. Now for those of you who say "welcome to marriage" what would YOU do? Thank you for reading!