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benthic_man

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Too young to be a curmudgeon, too old to be an underwear model... the wonderful thing about getting older is the life experiences it allows for. Anyhow, I started out as a commercial fishing boat owner, and became a marine biologist. I ended up back at the wheel later on, and these days I split my time as captain of a research ship and first mate of an oil tanker. It's been good.

  • 'Jah' in Brazilian Portuguese text?

    I'm trying to improve my Portuguese reading skills, but the word 'Jah' comes up in messages and notes, and I have no idea what it means. Can anyone help? example: 'Jah volto" Thanks!

    2 AnswersLanguages9 years ago
  • heard my best friends' wife having sex while he was at work! What to do?

    I've been going crazy since this happened last weekend. My buddy is selling a really nice and brand new set of golf clubs, and on Saturday I had a last minute opening for a teetime, so my buddy left his garage open so I could try his out. While I was in the garage, I heard his wife having very energetic and enthusiastic sex, and there were two guy's voices yelling and groaning and all that. I know that my friend was at work, though. Anyhow, while I was sitting there frozen, I noticed that the 4-iron is slightly bent. My friend wants $600 for the clubs, but with the bad 4-iron, I can't see paying more than $400. What do you think I should do?

    6 AnswersMarriage & Divorce9 years ago
  • If Canonized, what name will Pope John Paul II be remembered with?

    If Pope John Paul II is eventually canonized, will he be known as St. Pope John Paul II, or St. Carol Wojtyla?

    3 AnswersReligion & Spirituality10 years ago
  • Fellow Catholics, do you understand that you can't pick and choose dogma?

    There's a lot of teenage BS being passed around here. "I'm a Catholic but I believe..." "I believe everything but..." Out of curiosity, are young Catholics being taught that in order to be one of us, you have to accept everything in our defining dogma? Maybe Protestants can pick-and-choose which aspects of their religion they accept, but we can't. You're either in our out. No cherrypicking.

    Anyhow, this is the one time where undereducated Catholics are welcome to voice their opinion.

    5 AnswersReligion & Spirituality1 decade ago
  • bachelor party $$ etiquette?

    Putting together my friend's bachelor party, and it's looking mildly expensive- a couple of grand for the whole event. Baseball game at noon, indoor skydiving after, then a very reputable steakhouse, followed by the usual nudie bar shenanigans- with the dozen people, alcohol and 100 miles between the events (really, indoor skydiving isn't something you find at the mall), it's looking fairly expensive.

    I can swing the whole deal, but it'll impact bottom line really, really hard. I'm wondering if I can hope that some of the guys involved will pitch in a hundred here and there- so my question is one of etiquette. I am absolutely not going to ask for money, but what do you think the chances are that some of the guys'll want to pitch in?

    11 AnswersWeddings1 decade ago
  • had what I think was a panic attack?

    Visiting NY city for the 2nd time- my first time as an adult. As a kid, I had a massive panic attack (my first and only) when I visited first, 20 years ago. Today, I had another panic attack, along with a claustrophobia fit. I've got a wife and kids, and I looked like a little girl today when this happened. Now, they're laughing about it, but I just spent 45 minutes having a crying jag in the shower (without anyone finding out). I got shitfaced drunk after we got back to our hotel outside of the city. I'm facing another visit tomorrow to the city.

    What I really want is to bail. I don't feel like I can bail without a massive loss of face. If I can find a bottle of decent whisky, I guess I'll be OK. Any advice would be appreciated.

    BTB, I'm a combat vet with experience and multiple awards for having run in the face of stupid odds. I've never been afraid of bloodshed, dying, or anything else, but visiting a city square full of people is unmanning me. Thoughts?

    2 AnswersMental Health1 decade ago
  • saw my neighbor's wife cheating?

    My neighbor is selling off a really nice set of golf clubs, and the bag, too. He told me to go in the side door of his garage any time to check them out. I went over there this morning before work. My neighbor had already left for the day.

    Anyhow, while I was in the garage, I heard a car door pull into the driveway. A strange man got out, and went inside the house. A few minutes later, I could hear some very vocal and athletic sex happening in the house, and I know that my friend wasn't there, but I could very definitely hear his wife screaming.

    What should I do? I saw that the 9-iron was slightly bent, but the rest of the clubs looked pristine, and he only wants $300 for the set. Should I try to lowball him, or give him the $300?

    11 AnswersMarriage & Divorce1 decade ago
  • brother-in-law won't pitch in to support mother-in-law?

    My wife is an immigrant from Brazil. She and I met and married here in the US, and have a healthy marriage. Her bother is also here with his wife and kids. Now, both my wife and my brother-in-law have always sent home money to support their mother, (now my mother-in-law) every month. The economy is tough for everyone. I have a secure job, but my wife has had her hours reduced sharply. Her brother, who is here on a non-work visa, works full time. In the past few months, he has stopped sending money home to his mother, and my wife and I have picked up the slack. We can't continue to do this, as I'm quickly going broke.

    Now, my brother-in-law won't discuss the matter, because he says he has no money to send his mother. He tithes (gives 10% of his income) to a fundamentalist Protestant church). No one will even look at me when I suggest that he take the money earmarked for his church, and give it to his mother.

    My brother in law is not selfish, per se. He spends his money on his children and his church. I leave this sort of discussion to my wife under normal circumstances- different language, different culture, and different religions make my viewpoint very different from theirs. However, I am falling behind in my bills, and can not give another penny to my mother-in-law for at least 6 weeks. I keep nothing for my family right now while my wife's pay is at a low ebb, just pay bills and keep us fed. I've already emptied our savings.

    Any suggestions on how to either tactfully get him to start chipping in again, or, failing that, how to strongarm him without having to break his jaw?

    Thanks!

    6 AnswersFamily1 decade ago
  • Having kids after death of the first born?

    This section seems to be populated entirely by 13-year-old girls, so I'm going to ask an adult question, let them see the kind of stuff grown-ups deal with here:

    After the death of a child, when parents disagree about having more kids (assuming that there is no genetic component that would preclude attempting to have more kids), how can someone convince a reluctant spouse to try again?

    7 AnswersMarriage & Divorce1 decade ago
  • could someone translate this portuguese sentence into English?

    I'm worried about my sister-in law, who is Brazilian... Could someone translate these two sentences for me? Thanks!

    1).

    nao tenho inimigos nem um eu ti ve sim um problema com o Ze realmente nao me casei com quem amava, mas nao estou sofrendo e eu nao queria tomar a sua amizade

    and 2)

    Eu sei que vc nao fez e nao faz questao ke eu va ai, Quando vc pegou a cidadania eu sei ke vc nao queria ke nos fossemos tanto eu qt o Stephen... Para um bom entendedor meia palavras Bastam, nao tentei roubar

    Thanks!!!

    2 AnswersLanguages1 decade ago
  • Dealing with my stepson's separation anxiety and jealousy?

    OK, parents- I'm a first time stepdad, and my wife and I haven't had kids of our own yet, so I'm really working in the blind here...

    My wife was here as a foreign worker when we met, fell in love and got married. She has a son who was in her home country with his father for two years while we were dating, engaged, and married. My stepson's father finally let him rejoin his mother here in the US after we threatened legal action. Now, his father is not in the picture- he was barely there even when he was with his son. My stepson was 3 when he left his mother, and he's five now.

    Obviously, my stepson has separation anxiety. He is a very sweet boy, well behaved, mostly, and doing well now that he has some discipline and order in his life. Here's the rub, though: I travel extensively for work. I'm a ship's captain, so I go to sea for anywhere from 1-4 months before spending an equal amount of time at home. When I am at sea, my boy wants to sleep with his mother every night. I don't like it as a rule, because he's getting too old in my mind for that, but the poor kid has been through a lot, and I want him to be happy too. On the other hand, when I return home, he gets insanely jealous, and this makes both he and I miserable, because I hate seeing him so unhappy, and it's certainly not easy for him.

    My own solution for this problem has been to find a happy medium somewhere- I want my wife to wean him off of sleeping with her except when he's had a nightmare or whatever, but at the same time, although the situation was not my wife's fault (long story), she's got guilt, too for being away from her son for so long.

    Finally, as part of all this, my stepson seems to be becoming a bit of a hypochondriac. I walk with a very slight limp, and after my last visit home, my stepson has been complaining of sore feet, sore knees and sore ankles, along with a host of other aches and pains. My poor wife is dealing with all this on her own, for the most part, as I'm writing this from 6,000 miles from home.

    Any suggestions on how to make improvements?

    3 AnswersGrade-Schooler1 decade ago
  • What is the fastest route between Philadelphia and Boston?

    Looking to improve on my driving time between Philly and Boston. I usually take 76 to the Jersey Turnpike then get on 95 after the George Washington Bridge. Any thoughts on a better alternative route?

    4 AnswersOther - United States1 decade ago
  • other guys: when you're not wearing boxers...?

    Poll question: If you're not wearing boxers (boxer briefs being my choice, but I guess I should include any tightie-whitey wearers): when you need to take a leak, do you fish around in the flap of your drawers, or pull down the waistband and go?

    I never bother with the overlapping flap. The thing's there to help me put my drawers on in the dark, as far as I'm concerned.

    5 AnswersMen's Health1 decade ago
  • the man's role in the wedding... am I insensitive?

    I'll be getting married in about a year's time. I spend 7 months a year at sea, and have asked my fiancee to do the wedding planning. In exchange for this, I compromised on the ceremony (not in a church, though I'm religious) and the costs (I'm paying for almost everything)... In the meanwhile, I'll have to go back to sea early to pay for everything, which means that I REALLY can't be around, especially after the honeymoon's over.

    Now, all that in mind, I'm getting a lot of grief because I'm not around to help with the plan. I'm not around so much because of the cost of the reception, and if I was, I'd probably disagree on some of the details anyway... I am being called unromantic and insensitive? Am I? I mean, I'm a guy, I really don't care too much about a wedding or a reception, and want her to be happy, but at the same time, can I expect some kind of leeway just because I'm the one paying?

    11 AnswersWeddings1 decade ago