How many women out there are (or were) paying loser men alimony?

I live in Southern California. I am not rich. I am not a movie star.

Is there a way to stop this nightmare??? I'm getting ripped off to the tune of about a grand a month. He may have been born with a penis and testicles but he is definitely NOT A MAN.

Before we were married he was making a salary equal to mine. About two years later, he was laid off and sat on his butt for the next six years. He has a college degree but claims he can't find a job.

I don't understand how the court is letting him get away with this. The divorce has been going on for over 3 years!!! We have two little girls. They have to endure going back and forth between mom and dad every other week. All he cares about is the child support money (another $1,500). I pay for everyone's medical, dental, vision. I have no money left to live on. I'm charging groceries and car insurance on my VISA every month. Is this fair?

Update:

Whether male or female... if one is reasonably intelligent, physically able, has marketable job skills, prior work experience, education, etc. there is no reason why that person should not be self-sufficient and capable of earning their own "keep". Why would a grown man or woman expect someone else to give them money to pay their expenses? Are they a child? This is a 47 year old white male. He's lived on his own before, had American Express Gold cards, had a freelance graphic design business, worked for major corporations, bought cars... and now suddenly he is helpless?

Update 2:

Why did I stay? I have alot of reasons. I was stupid and kept hoping he'd change. I believed him when he said he was depressed about losing his job and just needed some time. I came from a broken home and had no idea what a healthy marriage was supposed to be like. We had an 18 month old and I was pregnant with our second child. I didn't want them to grow up without their dad. I waited 3 years. That's when my daughters started understanding the verbal abuse coming from daddy toward mommy. The past 3 have been post separation. 3 + 3 = 6. And, no, there was no boy-toy on the side. I was never unfaithful. Never. The same can't be said for him. While I was at work and the kids were in preschool, hubby was at home "entertaining". He definitely wasn't cleaning house or cooking dinner or doing yardwork.

6 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It's not fair, but it's never been fair the other way around.

    Alimony is bull****, going in either direction. I've never faced the issue, but I can easily say that normally courts do favor the mothers. So it is possible that when the tides change they go a little harder in the other direction, hence how hard you are getting hit.

    I do sympathize with you. Same as any man getting the same treatment. Especially with 50-50 custody, there should be NO child support or alimony at all, it's an even share.

  • 1 decade ago

    One of my friends had the same problem....though he was a father not the mother. With alimony and child support, he didn't have enough money for an apartment and groceries, so he stay'd with me for 6 months while he could find him a third job, yes, 3. Two full time jobs, one part time job just to afford to live. It hurts, and he has never financially recovored to where he was before he was married, and it has been 8 years now. Sorry to hear that you are going through the divoce he&&.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you were a man paying a woman most people right now would tell you to shut up. Why did you stay with this loser if he didn't work for six years... some of this is your own fault. This is I'm sure just how a lot of men out there feel. In a lot of states alimony only last for a certain amount of time.

    Good Luck...

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    So if he's not "A MAN" cause the judge ordered you to pay alimony to him and child support for your kids, does this apply to women who receive alimony and child support instead?

    If so, I know alot of females who aren't "A WOMAN".

    Update: I agree totally with your 2nd statement. If more women complain instead of only men, the system will change. Until then, expect it to only get worse.

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  • 1 decade ago

    This is the first time I've heard it put that way...usually it's the guy who is doing the complaining. Talk about fair play...think I'll move to California.

  • 1 decade ago

    wow........... never heard of such. I would like to know why the marriage broke up. Did you find a boy-toy on the side?

    Edit:

    and , if you are paying him child support......... he got the kids? You have got to tell the rest of this story!

    Edit2: You cheated on him and he is milking the system he was given just as women do when their husband cheats on them. Suck it up! It's the f'ing you get for the f'ing you got!

    Edit3: apologies to you............. you should not have to deal with all of this sh*t! Just had to know all the facts.Will try to come up with some info to try to help you. ----- Does he have custody of the kids?

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