I'm a Sagittarius
1. abducted by aliens: Gemini would say it to see what kind of reaction they could get out of people.
Aquarius and Pisces would say it and mean it.
2. Sabotage a beauty pageant: Aries, they're REALLY competitive.
Leo: They *really* want that crown:)
Scorpio: Because they can.
3. Drive around looking for a parking spot: Gemini, can't make up their minds.
Taurus: is there anything that these people do quickly?
Capricorn: Nothing but the best for these guys, and they're patient, too.
4. Be a stalker: Taurus, because they're too stubborn to let go.
Cancer because they tend to be clingy.
Scorpio because they're obsessive, and I think they'd kind of enjoy it, too:)
5. Be a serial killer: Capricorn, they're cool headed enough, and sometimes cold enough.
6. Commit suicide: Pisces:( You guys really need to check out the sunny side of the street, it's not half bad over here:)
7. Found a cult: Sagittarius: We like to preach.
Gemini: could definitely talk their way into becoming a cult leader.
Leo: just so that they could have "followers". It's almost like being king, really.
8. Join a cult: Sagittarius: some of us like being preached to as well.
Aquarius: just to be different.
Pisces: misguided spiritual quest.
9. cheat on SO: Gemini, they need more than one of everything.
10. sleep with someone else's SO: Aries: impulsive and lack of foresight.
Gemini: can talk their way into any situation they want to put themselves in.
Sagittarius or Aquarius: because societal rules are for sheep.
11. evil dictator: Scorpio, enough said.
12. mad scientist: Aquarius, they're crazy already, haha:)
13. try to pick up the opposite sex at funerals: Aries or Gemini...why the hell not?
Scorpio: funeral setting would probably be a turn on.
14. win the lottery and end up broke: Sagittarius...we'd spend that money before the cheque was cashed.
Pisces: would give it all to the first hard luck case that knocked on the door.
15. carry a mirror: Leo, for obvious reasons.
Virgo: to make sure they don't have anything stuck in their teeth.
16. say I love you just to sleep with you: Gemini (see answer to "most likely to sleep with someone else's SO")
17. check themselves into looney bin: Leo, for the drama of it all.
Virgo: Just checking in for a professional opinion.
18. willfully eat...: Cancer or Scorpio, out of spite.
19. road rage: Aries
20. gamble kid's college fund: Sag...but it's okay, we'll win it back:)
21. porn star: Sag and Cancer and Pisces...actually I think this is true.
22. aluminum foil hats: Pisces or Aqua.
23. cheat on tests: Gemini could but doesn't really have to. I guess if they're feeling lazy that day...
24. steal your dog to collect the reward: (lol) I know someone who did something like this only much worse. He's Taurus. I know a Cap who could easily be capable of this as well.
25. blow up/burn a chemical plant: I would hope that an Aquarian would have better sense than this. But maybe if they had a Leo rising, and a heavily afflicted Mercury.
26. buy a time machine: Sag. There's the travel element, and there's also the appeal of being able to go back in time and take our feet back out of our mouths.
27. cop for power: Aries.
28. constantly refer to themselves...: maybe Pisces.
Have you been saving these up for a while?