It sounds like you have a great deal of morals and I commend you for it! Living together is a super responsibility, and it shouldn't be taken lightly.
Sharing expenses, cooking, cleaning, and laundry are harder to compromise if you are just living together. Someone will feel used at some point for 'doing more than their fair share' of the load and problems will arise from it.
With marriage, the day-to-day operations of a household aren't seen as who does what, but just getting it done. No one feels like they are being used as much and the relationship can only grow stronger when the kinks are worked out.
When someone feels used and they are just living together, the one who seems to think they are getting the short end of the stick can just up and leave with no warning or consequences for their leaving.
On the other hand, I think that if you do want to marry this person, you should see how they live daily. I'm not saying move in and compromise your principles, but spend as much time with this person as you can to see how they operate. It will give you insight as to whether or not you can deal with the way they live.
Personally, I don't have a heaven or hell to put you in, so if you decide to live with him b/f you get married, just make sure you have that ring on your finger and a definite date as close to your move in date as possible. This way, you won't have the moral guilt of living with someone so long before marriage.
Best of luck to you!
11 year marriage to a man I lived with for 2 months b/f we got married
· 1 decade ago