older vs younger parents?

This isn't a debate and I'm not looking to insult anyone but I'm just curious...

*Generally* speaking, do you think that older first time parents (35+ ) have a different parenting style or different interactions with their child(ren) than younger (21+) first time parents? What do you think that difference might be and why do you think so?

Thanks for your input.

25 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    I love this question,, i use to work for picture people, taking pic of lil kids all day, and i can tell you the different i seen were, older parents give in to much, there kids don't listen as well as the children with younger parents, older parents tire out very fast, while the younger couple keep on trucking, children of older parents are very fresh to their parents, at a very young age, and they tell the parent what they want and when they want it, and the parents bribe them with treats! younger parents are more likely to say Hell no, this is how its gona be, and the kids listen. i use to feel so sorry for that mom that was my age (40's) with the little kids, they would be dressed so nice, but with in 15min of waiting for there turn to take a pic, her hair and cloths would be a mess ,and she would drag her butt in my room. well this is what i have seen in my yrs of working with family's, my grandparents always said children are for the young. they were right

  • 1 decade ago

    I think it really all depends on the person. It depends how you grow as a person.

    You have some older parents, who gain a lot of knowlege over the years and become more patient and understanding. They have been through many stressful situations and have learned how to cope and deal.

    You have another older person and they have become completly stressed by life. They get angry quickly and some develope a harsh attitude on life. They become short tempered and very tierd and worn out.

    Then you have the young mom's. Some young mom's are eager and youthful. They have just come out of their childhood and think much about how they felt and what they believe if fair. Their life just happens to lead them into love early. I think it is pretty normal to be eager to start a family with the person you love.

    Then you have the young party mom. They where not really ready to leave it all and is not going to let a kid ruin all that. They leave the baby at home with mom or maybe they just bring it to the sitter 16 hours a day (8 to work and 8 to party). They are impatient with their children and save no money to take care of their kid. They do not sacrafice there life for the life with their own child.

    These are just a few types of people. There are many parenting styles. Actually I would say that EVERYONE does it a little different. There are some moms who do not give it their all and some parents center their life on the child and are doing the best job they can possibly do. There are mental abusers, physical abusers, some that just completly neglect their child, and the list just goes on. This can be found in every age group. As can more simple things like spanking or not, bed times, vaccinations (if and how), good hygein, how you play with your kids, what you try to teach your child, what the child is exposed to, and even financial status in life. There is every type of person in every age group.

    I am glad to see most of the time people are happy that they became parents when they did. I am a young parent. I love it because I am very patient (unlike my parents) and financially well... I am doing good and it will only go up. I know I am a good mother because all I have to do is look at my kids and listen to what everyone around me tells me.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I do think there are different types of parenting styles, quality of life, etc.

    I'm not saying either are bad. Some people prefer to have their first at 21 and feel they can do a better job. Other people prefer to be older and rise to the challenges quite well.

    I understand from both points of view. Younger parents have more energy and their kids benefit that. Yet, I think older parents have more life experience and have the ability to handle certain situations differently.

    So, there are pro and cons to each.

    I'm 24 and I don't feel ready for a baby. My Fi is 30. We probably wouldn't have our first for at least another 3-4 years. I'll be 27/28 and he'll be 33/34.

    That's really old to some. But, it works for our situation. We'd like to buy a house together. That takes time and money.

    We took a little longer in trying to figure out our careers and educational pathes. But, it works for us.

    I never wanted a baby at 21. I knew it wasn't how I saw my life and I knew I wanted to accomplish certain goals. Having a baby didn't fit my plan.

    My Fi will be an older dad, but I know he wouldn't be any less involved. He's got a really dynamic personality and he really wants to be a father someday.

    I know age isn't going to get in the way of being a good parent. I also don't care if I'm 50 years old when my oldest is only 20. It's not about age, it's about attitude.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well its obvious that an "older" parent will have more insight to the ways of the world thus making a better parent. A younger parent might not know the things an older person would know just due to life experience. However, some older parents dont have a clue and would do the same job as a younger parent. I've found that the younger parents tend to party more in the later years due to them not being able to party when their kids were young...such as my mom, she had my brother when she was 17 and now she is 48 and she is still partying like she's 21 (she never was much of a mom to be honest). this goes for most of my friends that had young parents. It always depends on the person though...some young parents are way better than "old" parents

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  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, I would definitely think that "older" parents would have different interactions and parenting style that younger parents. "Older" parents have more life experience and typically more education and money. We've seen it all before and are very ready, settled and eager to take on parenting responsibilities having learned who we are, established careers, and traveled. There is nothing in life that we are missing out on by taking on the parenting responsibility.

    My mother told me that I am a much more patient, knowledgeable, calm and relaxed first time parent at 37 than she was 24, so much so that she wishes that she could come back as one of my kids . Now, I thought she did an amazing job, so this was an incredible compliment!

    Source(s): "older" first time mom of 4 month old.
  • Yes. I have a friend thats is 50 and adopted a baby girl and she is now 3 and has totally different parenting styles. I am 30 and have 4 kids aged 15(step-daughter), 3, 20 months, and 3 months and we do not agree on anything. She believes in spanking and in all the old ways of parenting and I do the complete opposite! I am not saying thats wrong to raise your kids that way but it is not for me or my husband. So yes I deffiantly think that older parents and younger parents are very different

    Source(s): Mommy to Natalie, Grace, Noah, and Aaden
  • loved1
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I believe that most older first time parents and even those that have a second child later in life parent differently because of their life experiences. I also think that as you age and become more stable in life, you have more time to spend with your child and on some of those small things that seemed to be so hard to manage when you are younger.

    Having done parenting both ways, I think my skills and abilities were much improved the second time around.

    Parent also has another side and that is the skills people bring with them to begin with. Someone that was raised in a unloving or poorly parented environment may not have the skills because they never learned them, this would apply to them whether they were 21 or 35.

    Just my opinion, but I hope it helps.

  • 1 decade ago

    I definitely think there is a different style between the different age groups.

    I was 19 and then 21 when I had my kids, and I can see the difference when I see other kids the same age as mine but with older parents.

    The difference may be partly because of the way the parents were raised- older parents come from further back = generally stricter. the opposite with younger parents. generally.

  • 1 decade ago

    Good question...I've been pondering that myself. I'm 33 with two children ages 13 and 9. My husband and I are seriously contemplating a third or maybe a third and a fourth!

    I feel so much better equipped in every way to handle a child...financially, tried and true marriage, older, wiser, more patient....the list goes on and on!

    Looking back I know that I didn't even know who I was when I had my first child at age 19!

    Of course younger people have their vigor going for them!

    My mother in law had her third child at age 42 (there's a 21 year gap between 2nd and 3rd) and has said everyone should wait so long to have their first!

    I would never change my children but if I could have the same ones a little later, I would definitely do it.

  • 1 decade ago

    Absolutely they are different.

    Younger parents are typically going to school, building their careers. The baby is often unplanned and money is tight. Not many luxuries. They have lots of energy however and are more likely to be involved doing things that cost little money such as hiking, nature parks, camping.

    Older parents usually already have their education completed and may/may not be financially secure, but able to provide more stuff for kids. Their children are more likely to have been planned. They are the ones buying those expensive nursery items and arranging planned activities. I personally feel that older parents tend to be more controlling of their children, but that may be just the group that I'm around.

    I'll have been in both camps. Neither is better because I feel the advantages and disadvantages generally cancel each other out when you compare the camps.

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