How to ask a girl out.?

How do i work up the courage to ask a girl who likes on a date? Any ways to work up the courage? Any good first date ideas?

27 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    How well do you know this girl? If the answer is not very well, then change that. Don't approach her for a date. Instead, approach her for friendship and conversation. Get to know her.

    At the core of any successful romantic relationship, is a strong platonic relationship.

    Once you have gotten to know her, you'll build comfort, and mutual trust and respect. Once she's comfortable with you, and vise versa, you'll be ready to ask her out. She may even ask you out.

    So how do you do it?

    Dating is about power. When you ask someone out, you want to keep the power balanced. Don't ask them out in the form of a question. Questions shift power to them. Instead keep the invitation in the form of a statement. This keeps the power balanced.

    Make sure to build yourself up, and indicate interest. Indicate you already have an established social life, and that you'd like to include them in your active social life. This sounds better than, I have no life and I'd like to create one with you. You can see how negative that sounds.

    "I'm going to see _____ movie/play/concert and I'd really love for you to join me. I know we'd have a great time together."

    Notice this was in the form of a statement, not a question. You indicated you were going anyway, and would like them to go with you. You have an active social life. You also indicated that you'd have a great time together. This is also very positive and indicates interest. You can follow-up with another compliment if you'd like. I would limit the next compliments to ones that deal with the nature of your time spent together, her personality or your friendship. Avoid complimenting her on her physical appearence at this time. That will make you appear shallow and will give her more power and not keep you ballanced.

    Once you go out on a date, you can avoid the getting to know you stuff and just relax and have fun. You'll already be friends and already know one another. The date wont appear as awkward.

    Avoid the following three words: "I'll call you." This translates to, I have no interest in seeing you again. It's not what you may have meant, but it sounds so cliche, that it's what most people assume.

    Instead, say: "I had a wonderful time with you. I always have a wonderful time, when I'm with you. You're a great woman. I'm going to ____ on _____ date at ______ time. I'd really love for you to go with me. This establishes a second date, at the end of the first date. You've locked-in a second date. You've also used the words "go with me," instead of "join me." This is subtle, but it means that you'd like to be together, and not just with one another. It indicates something more intimate and lets her know, you care.

    If she can't make it at that time, have a back-up. At the end of the second date, ask her what she's like to do for your third date. This is an oppertunity to let her contribute and feel like she's really part of the relationship. It will be the first real oppertunity for you two to behave like a couple, and not just two people who are dating.

    I like day dates for a first date. With a day date, you can talk, and relax. You can keep the pressure to a minimum and still have fun. You can also continue the date into the evening, if things are going well.

    Be creative. It's summer, assuming you live in the northern hemishphere, and that means pleanty of possible outdoor activities. You can have coffee on a patio of a local coffee shop, while people watching. You can go for a bike ride, fly kites, visit a zoo, museum or garden or even go swimming. You can also go for a nice walk together and spend quality time together. If the date continues into the evening, you can go more traditional. This will show that you can be both creative and traditional.

    As for working up the courage; courage comes with comfort. You'll feel far more courageous with someone you already know. You were told not to talk to strangers as a child, so why on earth would you date one? It doesn't feel natural, becuse it's not. She's also probably just as nervous as you are. She'll be more likely to say yes, if she knows you. Why would she say yes to a strange man?

    Best open, be honest and most importantly, be yourself.

    Best of luck in life and love. :-)

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago


    Source(s): The Art of Seduction
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I wanted to tell you this:

    When a person asked for my number, it didn't feel like he was going to ask me for a date with it. The atmosphere was like of two friends, which I found was the perfect way to get to know a person better without becoming physical. We studied in the same music school so we saw each other once/twice a week. Then we would play the piano together. When he called me, i really felt glad to hear him wanting advice from me for some of his study issues. Then he called again, and again for other small things, like to tell how his matriculation exams were, and at the same time would ask if i'm coming to music school tomorrow. Then he would just ask after we finish playing... what will we do next ?

    My point is, you don't have to make it a 100% classic date at the dinner table. I personally hate this sort of a date. Become friends, do different things together. You don't always have to only sit and talk. Life is meant to act together. Talking is in the background. There should be something motivating the speech.

    Don't make a big deal out of simple things. :)

  • 1 decade ago

    First off confidence is key. Any man with too much confidence is an immediate vibe killer for most women. However, most women like a good balance or self confidence and respect for ones self and the woman in question. I say go for it! don't be shy the least she can do is say "No" and thats never a reason to give up. If some of the great people in our history gave up because a critic told them "No" where would the world be? ( honestly, if some of them would have given up we might be a little better off. cough. George Bush.cough. Adolf Hitler. But thats beside the point.) Also, really listen when she talks. So many men don't. They listen to the words, but not the message. do you understand? Listening to her conversation and the real message behind it can create great opportunities for you to jump in and ask her if she would like to go biking one afternoon, or rock climbing at the local climbing gym. Remember confidence is key and try to think outside a dinner and a movie. :)

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  • 4 years ago

    Here are tips on How to Get A Girlfriend Whether in high school, college, or out of college, when you know what to say and how to say it and how to act to make girls interested in dating you, life becomes a lot easier. It's not even about your looks either. I've seen attractive guys have a hard time getting a girl while an average guy gets a bunch of girls. You just got to know the tricks. Have fun.

    Best way to eat out a girl

  • 5 years ago

    Ok well for starters this girl has to follow a few guidelines

    Do you know her more than a first name basis?

    Have you known her for more than a week?

    Is she a psycho? (Might work for you idk)

    Now if following common sense she follows this guideline you should start by engaging in a conversation with her

    Then during the conversation surprise her by asking her out or alternatively you could get her alone and say something along these lines

    "Hey *insert name here* I was wondering if maybe you wanted to maybe hang out or something"

    Then bingo either she's yours or you learned what she's truly like

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Okay, let's ignore all the sexist people out there! It's the twenty-first freaking century. If you like someone, tell them. Girls shouldn't have to ride backseat to guys all of our lives just because it's considered "tradition". Screw that, lol! I have asked out guys before, and usually it goes pretty well. Guys like girls that take charge. If you I like someone then I tell them. I think that's how all girls should think. Yeah it feels good to get asked out, but let's face it, half the population doesn't have the balls for that. Sometimes the girl just has to get the relationship started, then the guy can take over from there.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Just introduce yourself. Ask her what she enjoys doing. Then ask her if she would like to go with you to a movie or whatever it is she likes. If you are still nervous, ask her if she would like to join you and some friends for a night out. Be creative, women love that. Youll be fine, the worst that can happen is she says no. Youll be in the same boat you are now. Good Luck!

    Source(s): Be yourself
  • 1 decade ago

    During college I had heard every one liner from guys, most of them gave me the creeps. However, one stood out for me. My "now, husband" came up to me on the local train in Boston and said, "Hi. Can I ask you a personal question?" and I nodded and he continued, "What's your name?" He had the cutest smile on his face, and even though it was such a cheesy line, I fell for it. I think it was because he was displaying his true personality.

    We got off the same train stop (college stop) and he asked if I would like to go out for pizza. It has been magic ever since.

    Because I was going to be going out with him where there were a lot of people, made me more comfortable, instead of going out "alone". Maybe you could take her to a small party so you both could feel comfortable and let your personalities shine. Good luck.

  • andee
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago


    its great because you dont have to talk much so there wont be a lot of awkward silence

    its also a great place to make a move deoending how old you are


    alchohol would give you courage

    but not too much coz you have to pretend to be sober


    ask over instant messenger if your too scared face to face

    or call her after listening to some pumped up music

    good luck

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