High school problem! sorry it is soo long! please help! much thanks!

hi! i am about to start my 10th grade year at my very small high school. this year i'd like to start over and have all the fun everyone else is claiming to be having. i've never been the new kid or anything so its not like i'm an outsider they just won't let in. i think it all stems from how things were going on in... show more hi! i am about to start my 10th grade year at my very small high school. this year i'd like to start over and have all the fun everyone else is claiming to be having. i've never been the new kid or anything so its not like i'm an outsider they just won't let in. i think it all stems from how things were going on in my home life from 8th grade to the end of freshmen year. honestly not to try to make anyone feel sorry for me or anything but i was very close to my step dad, more than my real dad and during that time his pill addiction got even worse out of control and he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and we lost him during my 9th grade year. to make matters worse his family was absolutely bitter and nasty during this process and the funeral. also i wouldn't say i have a bad attitude i just don't like being messed with.

ok though. personality wise i don't think i'm awful but am willing to take suggestions. i mean i can be the nicest person to a stranger but when they try to mess me over that's it. i am opinionated. i am creative. i love kids. all honors classes and honor roll. but i am bad at every sport and musical instrument, and yes i have tried.

looks wise i wouldn't say i'm an eye soar but i'm nothing special. i do do pageants. i'm just a little over 5' but i love high heels. kinda smallish like size 5 if you call that thin. very light complected, and i don't mind one bit i am not tan. long dark brown hair and dark brown eyes.

fashion wise i lean more towards gothicy punk stuff, but am a little of eveything. i do wear colors besides black and i do actually have lots of colorful clothes.

but what i am asking you to do is please help me fit in. please don't give me that line of just be yourself and everything will work out bc i have tried that and it just hasn't. i guess what i am saying i want real advice for how to be popular, even if they are kinda plastic.

if you read this far thanks a bunch and if you answer thanks even more so. =]
Update: ok i am in multiple clubs but don't seem to click with people.
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