Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 1 decade ago

What chance, if any, is there that this woman's baby is mine?

This was basically the first time that I have been with a girl and actually had sex (I had penetration before, but never came, and it was only a couple times, very briefly). Anyways, with this girl, I had sex with her several times, and came inside her (no protection).

I don't believe I had had sex with her past November 16h or 17th, 2007. She told me that she took the morning after pill (she got two of them). And took them both as she was instructed to do so.

A few days later she said she was starting her period. I believe I had sex with her one last time (again, I believe the date was before the 16th or 17th).

After thanksgiving break she broke up with me. About two months later, from reading her MySpace page, I found out she was pregnant.

I asked her about it, and she said it was not mine.

So...this basically having been my first time, I felt terrible. Here was a potential mother to my child, and she would not even let me know if it was mine.

So over the next nine months I watched her MySpace page, because she would not give me any info.

I 'believe' her supposed due date was August 28th. She ended up having the baby on September 10th, 2008 I believe (I believe by C-Section, because she knew the day ahead).

In August, when I found out she was having the baby, I freaked, and sent her one final message pleading with her to please tell me the truth. She said that it was not mine, and that she had been with someone else at the end of November.

I looked online, and did a reverse from the supposed due date...and it predicted that the conception date was December 6th I believe it said.

Having sex was way out of something I would ordinarily do. I was planning on saving myself for marriage. However there were really hard real life circumstances going on in my life, and I'm getting older (was 23 going on 24 at the time of it happening), and I was relatively attracted to the girl...(she is 27)...so I just did it.

I suffered the consequences of wondering day in day out for 9 months if this child could possibly be mine (If it is, I REALLY REALLY want to know).

This is still deeply affecting me, as I am not 100% sure, and I guess I wanted to get the opinions of others, possibly a doctor. The is weighing heavily on my soul and conscience, and I hope that you can tell that from what I've written.

If someone can provide a serious answer, please do so. I beg of you, please try to be sensitive to this issue...it's really hit home with me, and has been on my mind constantly since I found out she was pregnant back in January.

Update:

....not what I'm wanting to hear, except for the first answer.

Are you guys aware, that basically I'm pointing out that it's 3 Weeks or so + from the 'due date', and 4+ weeks from actual birth date?

Update 2:

...and no...I'd rather not be the father. The mother is not a nice person at all. For being told I was her 'first', she treated me like ****, I just think she wanted to have sex with someone and be their 'first'.

And it would change my life completely, I do not want a child AT all at this point in my life. I do not want to carry the responsibility. Since this has happened, I've not had any sexual encounters of any kind, and don't plan on it! It scares me to death!

...And I was really nice to her. I didn't really leave her on bad terms...but she could tell I was becoming very clingy in a short time (Understandable when you have never had sex, and then someone offers it up). ...she also made it seem like we were getting somewhat serious (because she mentioned telling her dad that we were)

Then she just dropped me like a rock after I went home for Thanksgiving. She told me that she had found someone else closer to her age...and that was the end of it. ....So last time I was

Update 3:

the Weekend BEFORE Thanksgiving. and might have been even a few days before that (a wednesday or thursday before)

Update 4:

When I wrote her pleading with her asking about it...she said that she may not even have kept it if she thought that it was mine...

...Thats the type of girl we are dealing with. Not someone I would want in my life at all. I was so nice to her because she seemed 'broken' to me, and I thought giving her all of my trust...and virginity, would mean something to her....

apparently not :(

11 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    I know that I have two children. The first one was conceived in January and born/due in October. The second one was conceived in December and born/due in September. If I go by my own experiences, if she was due in August she conceived in November. I would say there is a chance you are the daddy. I would get a lawyer and demand a DNA paternity test, because if it is yours, she shouldn't keep it from you if you want your rights. That is my advice.

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  • 1 decade ago

    This sounds like a legal question, and since I don't know what state you are in, since all states have different laws, then you should seek the advice of counsel. In the State of California, for example (I am an attorney here - and I can only speak to California), you can file a paternity action and demand (and the court would force) that she/baby submit to a buchel swab DNA test. Then, the reality is or may be, if the child is deemed yours through DNA (never sign anything unless it is virtually certain.e.g., 98-99% DNA certainty... but even then, even if the child was deemed yours, since she doesn't want to be with you or share her kid...there is always the potential that she might keep the child from you, then you'd get embroiled in an ongoing dramarama 18 year battle over custody, visitation and yes, child support (which can be extremely hefty, if unpaid can force your drivers/professional licenses suspended, and basically wreak havoc on the rest of your life. If she says THE BABY isn't yours...believe it. It probably isn't. SHE WOULD KNOW... Trust me, she can garner $$ from child support if she pursues the right dad and zippo if she doesn't. SO....SHE KNOWS WHO DAD IS... So, on that note, stop worrying, stop putting your whozit in places it doesn't belong without protection and NEVER believe a girl that says she is using birth control!!! ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM!!!! Even when you marry, you should ask yourself, can I put up with this person's "funk moods" if she actually hated me...and we had kids together, meaning that a person must be responsible, reliable, mature and emotionally stable, most of all - before you should even consider having a kid. Having a child is the most incredibly wonderful and rewarding thing you could ever do, so don't ruin it by having to split the baby and force that poor child to bounce between households and split parents. It stinks. BE RESPONSIBLE...AND HAVE KIDS AT A MUCH LATER DATE....Enjoy your youth! Run as far away from that girl and her baby as you can!!!

    Source(s): www.the-divorce.com; California Family Code; Department of Child Support Services
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  • 1 decade ago

    This is the consequence of having sex. That is why you should use protection. If you have sex again, use a condom, otherwise get ready to be a dad.

    That being said.... the only thing you can do, is demand a DNA test. But she is insisting you aren't the dad and she might not co-operate. But if you think it might be yours, and it could be because you had sex within two weeks of her and the other guy, get a lawyer and pursue getting a DNA test from her. If it is your child, you have paternal rights.

    Good luck. Im sorry you have to go through this. I would be worried too.

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  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    I think what she's getting confused is that doctors count pregnancies from the date of your last period. Meaning that you're already 4 weeks pregnant, when in fact you only conceived 2 weeks ago. So if the ultrasound picture said 11weeks6days from the LMP (last menstrual period) then the baby was conceived roughly 9 weeks and 6 days before the day she had the scan. So if you had sex on the 5th it is very, very likely that you are the father. Unfortunately if you have doubts the only thing that will clear them up will be a DNA test. According to the dates you've given every thing adds up if you know what you are adding up. Feel free to email me if you want me to explain it further.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I do not think the baby is yours because she broke up with you 2+ weeks before the date of conception. It is very possible that she just had someone else lined up right after she broke up with you. I'd think she would tell you if the baby was yours - it sounds like she is confident that it is not.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    petition the court for a DNA test. I think you are a stand up guy. you know there is a chance that you are a father and you are taking the responsibility like a man should. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK AND GOD BLESS!!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    I don't know what state you are in but you can probably obtain a legal court order for a dna test it's ashame there aren't more men like you out there....good luck and research it on google

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  • 1 decade ago

    take a DNA test you have a right to know since you had sex with her

    tell her that you will pay full price for the test.

    EDIT: you should of not had sex with her then just because you felt sorry for her. and that is the concenquences of sex if the child is yours

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  • 1 decade ago

    There have been crazier things that could happen... anyway. If she took the plan b pill (morning after.) You should be ok. as long yall ended on a good note- no reason for her to lie to you about it being someone elses.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Wow.. That is crazy. Good of you for wanting to know so bad.. :]

    But I would say there is definitely a chance.. But the only way you can really know is convincing her to do paternity test to put your mind to rest..

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