Wife controls sex life 100%?
I am 26 and my wife is 28, married for 5 years. She could honestly care less about sex and she has said so. We have sex about once or twice a month and thats only b/c she feels that she has too. Therefore it is extremely boring. Now recently she is wanting to have a baby and so when she is ovulating she wants to have sex but its still the same old boring sex. I have brought this up many times and it only creates a fight. Should I even bother anymore? I do not know what else to do.
Before marriage the sex was great. But like they say.....wedding cake kills a woman's sex drive.
- cc89705Lv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
I feel your pain. I'm in my second marriage, first wife cheated, and I got remarried. Before marriage the sex was good....she would even show up to my house before I got there, she had a key, and be showered in a bathrobe waiting for me on my bed ready and willing for sex as soon as I walked threw the door. This senario never, not once, has happened since putting a wedding ring on her finger....In fact I didn't even get sex on our wedding night cause she was tired and fell asleep...sure, we had sex the next morning but it is something that I will remember for the rest of my life...I wonder how proud her parents would be to know that little fact? If it were me I would ABSOLUTELY not bring a child into this world under these conditions! Your marriage is unstable and out of balance. For me, I'm 37 and have 3 kids from a previous marriage and 1 step child. At 37 it's a lot easier to go without sex but for you at 26? I would say you have at least a 60% chance of divorce and trust me when I say this...Divorce sucks and sucks even more when children are involved. The next time she says she can care less about sex ask her how she would feel if you said you could care less about her emotions! Tell here you need to be having sex with her because it is how you feel connected to her the same way that they need us to talk to them, not just about everyday things, but really talk to them to make them feel connected to us. Also tell her that if she wants this marriage to work that she needs to have GOOD sex with you on a regular basis and that you both need to go to counseling. She is wrong by withholding her body from you and making you feel lilke you are wrong for being a man with needs. There is also two sides to every story so without knowing what her side is I'm unable to give any real advice.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
If she controls your sex life, when you have it, when you both want it. Then who's to say she wont control this baby she has decided you both to have?
If your not up for solving the problem of your sex life, then how the hell do you expect to have the guts to confront a pregnant woman or a mum who's more bothered about what she wants than what you want?
This is obviously not the right time for you two to start making happy families, because your not happy. And this is VERY life changing so make sure she knows what you want and how you feel. If she doesn't listen, make her listen. This isn't like personal experience or anything I'm just saying what I would do been put in your situation. A child should not be conceived unless it has a proper loving family to go into. A child can become very emotionally damaged if he/she's parents have been fighting since he/she was very young. If your wife doesn't listen to you now, who's to say she ever will? Or has she just been like this since she wanted a baby, and can I ask is that what you want too? I hope everything turns out for the best for you both! Good luck.Source(s): What I would do.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
OMG! That sucks. I swear I have to have sex at least every other day or I feel starved!
My husband and I have been married for six years, have two little girls, are ages 26 and 29, have a hectic life and we still get our freak on. :)
I think the only time women actually do not enjoy sex is when their guy does not spend enough time pleasing them, they get fat (fat produces more estrogen, which kills sex drive), or they just get TOO comfortable being married and feel like they don't HAVE to. Seriously, y'all need some couseling.
If worse comes to worse, I would tell her straight up that you need some more spice in your sex life and if she's not into it, ask her if you all can have an open relationship. That way you can get what you NEED if she can't provide it. I know it sounds a bit extreme to go that far, but damn! You're only 26! You should be enjoying your twenties before they are gone.
Maybe it will be a wake up call.
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- 5 years ago
This Site Might Help You.
Wife controls sex life 100%?
I am 26 and my wife is 28, married for 5 years. She could honestly care less about sex and she has said so. We have sex about once or twice a month and thats only b/c she feels that she has too. Therefore it is extremely boring. Now recently she is wanting to have a baby and so when she is...Source(s): wife controls sex life 100: https://shortly.im/R3z28
- winnieLv 61 decade ago
Wow, well, is she particularly stressed? If so, you could take some of the burden off her by offering to say.. help around the house or something. She may be someone who is not comfortable with sex in general, maybe she was brought up thinking it's 'bad' or 'dirty'. If that's the case, she may require some counseling or something. Maybe you could get her a subscription to Cosmo, she could read about all the 'fun' she's missing out on by having only 'vanilla' sex. And lastly, does she have any medical problems? Some medications, including for instance anti-depressants, can lower libido. If she's on a med that can have this effect, she may want to change her RX. If it's not a med, she could speak to either her family doctor or gynecologist to see if they have any ideas if anything medical is wrong. Good luck!
Edit: Oh, and I agree with the other people who said to wait before trying for a baby. You definitely don't want to bring a baby into this until you know your relationship is more stable.
- Helen BLv 41 decade ago
If sex is the most important thing to you and she could care less you will need to tell her how you feel and by all means don't have a baby with her!!If she wont or can't come around for the sex at least 1/2 of the time you want then you might need to have a good heart searching and see if you want to continue in a sexless marriage.It will onlylead to frustration and maybe cheating get out first if it comes to that..
- Maggie's HeyBabeLv 61 decade ago
Hey Tommy. In my honest opinion, don't have baby sex with her. You guys aren't solid as a couple right now. You need to work on the relationship first. It really doesn't sound like the relationship is going to last very long. And if it doesn't, you don't want to drag a child through a divorce. Work this and any other issues you two might have.And if she doesn't want to do that, well, you have a tough question to ask yourself about the future of this relationship
Wedding cake doesn't kill a sex drive, but something has.
- Michael TLv 71 decade ago
I would definitely hold of on the baby in these circumstances. First of all your relationship sounds in danger. You don't want to bring a child into that. It won't fix anything. It will only amplify existing problems.
Sex is an important part of it for you. You need to tell her that. After a baby it will cut the sex back to a fraction of what it is now. Don't go on being unhappy. Give her what she needs in the relationship, but, make sure you get what you want too. Otherwise you'll never be happy.
- 1 decade ago
man your 26, you still young and you still have your balls don't you ? if she has sex with you once a month because she needs it bad tell her your tired and you just don't care about sex anymore, play the same card, join a gym keep your pay check to your self and keep that for a couple of months. if you want out talk to a lawyer about it before talking to your wife so you don't do any mistakes that will cost you the car, house or even the dog and having a baby is the last thing you should do right now unless you want to pay child support if she leaves you which i think she will as soon as she gets preg.