Does he really hate me that much?

Sorry this is gonna be long. Please be patient.

This exchange student kept asking me to lose virginity with him and I finally gave in. But right after I left his dorm room, while we were waiting for the elevator together, he told me out of nowhere that he hates PDA and told me not to do anything PDA with him in front of people but in fact I didn't do anything PDA before and never plan on doing so because I know guys hate that, and the interesting thing is that he is actually the one who used to kiss me once in the railway. And now he won't even talk to me in any way. Why does he have to do that to me?

Some girls can be friends with him but I was the one he wants to have sex with from the beginning of our acquaintance and it turns out there is no longer any friendship after the sex despite I distinctly rememeber him telling me that he won't just "shag and leave". Am I not even friend material? I always know my position and treated him as a friend who is also an unattainable love for me and now he had sex with me. But I feel like I am automatically stripped of the opportunity to be around him like other girls do? What have I ever done to him to deserve that?

And he once told me via MSN that he knows I am that kind of girl that must fall in love once i slept with him. So if he really thought he knows everything, why would he still ask for sex when in fact i told him many times that i would rather stay virgin and losing virginity is not as simple as he might have thought.

The reason I eventually agreed to drop my pants is because I couldn't imagine that he could be cold-hearted. Though he always told me that he just wanted sex and only like me as a friend. But he did tell me he will stay friends with me after the sex but it turns out he is ignoring me. Now i know that he is lying when he tells me I am beautiful and he is attracted to me. Is he cold-hearted or am I asking for something I shouldn't be asking for?

What hurts my feeling even more is that when I notice that my new girl friend's girl friend is actually friends with him back in his country, she told my girl friend that he is a VERY NICE PERSON, VERY NICE FRIEND and that he never hit on her...why can't i have the same if he really finds me beautiful and attractive (though i know its very unlikely that he meant it when he gave this compliment)? Not even just a friend? I honestly felt like crap now.


i am sorry Trevor. You are right, I am just presenting a truncated version of the whole thing. It's like only one tenth of the whole story. If someone is willing to hear me out I will be willing to tell the rest of the story.

And about the "drop the pants" part, I am sorry again. I am not good woth words and I don't realize that "euphemism" for sex would actually send off the wrong message saying that I am casual with sex. The reason I used "drop my pants" is just my way of saying that I finally agreed to have sex with him.

I don't know whether I am gullible as another answerer put it, because I told him I don't trust guys all along. And my aggreeing to sleep with him is not a return to his sweet words. Maybe the gulliable part is that I thought i could still be in touch with him after the sex.

Update 2:

Well Trevor thanks for your honesty but that doesn't mean that I agree with what you said.

Update 3:

To be frank Trevor, if it is possible, I find your answer very unsettling. Sorry if I am being rude.

Update 4:

I just turned 21 2 months ago and he is about to turn 21 one month later.

Update 5:

Trevor, if you think I have insulted you, I don't know what to say. If you think my story is one-sided and I am speaking in favor of myself, I don't know what to say. If you think it is needy of me to want to be just friends with him while I am already trying so hard to dial down my emotion, I don't know what to say.

Update 6:

Eoghan, I just want to know if you are agreeing with Trevor.

Btw, I told him early on that I won't be able to sleep with someone without having feelings towards him, and he knows that.

And I don't think that wishing to stay friends with him after sex while he said "I won't shag and leave" is the same as "promising him not to be needy but breaks the deal now".

Update 7:

i am sorry eoghan i just realised that your "T" is referring to another answerer but not Trevor.

Update 8:

To Trevor:

then i guess he has finally realised my evil personality.

so I don't deserve any attention from him.

Yes you are right I am very inexperienced with guys because I have never never dated.

It's funny that though I am crushed by this whole incident, I can't never really shed a tear. But Trevor, your words brought me to tears right away, maybe it's an awakening right?

Why on earth have I never thought of the possibility that I have a stinky personality that makes him hate me?

I am too stupid to realize that I am an evil.

Update 9:


I have a crush on him from the beginning of the swimming lesson we had. Though I want to get intimate with him, I never flirt or anything and just showed him that I want to be friends with him. But he is the one who kept asking me if I want to party and hinted sex. He is the one who told me that he will prove me wrong for ever thinking that he will not talk with he after we had sex. But now it seems that he kinda proved me right. He is the one who doesn't want friendship from the start and just want to have sex and now get away with the whole thing saying that I am needy while all I have done is just to say a friendly Hi. So, i am the type of girl he just wants to have sex but not friendship with right? He accused me for being all-or-nothing but to me it seems its him not me.

Update 10:

i'm sorry if you think that i am seeking for attention, but i am not.

the only person i want to seek attention from is....

Update 11:

he always said that he likes me as a friend and i have already dialled down my emotion as hard as i can but now it seems that my mere existence is already bringing him a headache.

Update 12:

OMG I never bring up the topic of SEX. Read it carefully, it is him hinting sex not me!!! I said I just want friendship all along!!! OmgOmgOmg I can't believe that you said I suggested to have sex with him. He is the one doing so!

Update 13:

you said i am offering him sex??? unbelievable. You mean I invite him to have sex to try to keep him with me???

Update 14:

sorry but WHEN did i say i discussed with him about sex?

If so, that is really just because HR BROUGHT IT UP and put me through such discussion!


That notion is insulting me.

Update 15:

and that "attention" i am talking about

because he is ignoring me so basically i want him to acknowledge my existence as a friend. simple as that

Update 16:

And i fear so much that he will finally block me on msn so i never initiated talks with him anymore. Tried very hard not to be a "stalker" already

Update 17:

i have not chased him.....

i have already been appearing as invisible as i can...

i even declined my friend's invitation to go ice-skating with his bunch because i know he resents me.

i feel so sad that my status has dropped from sex toy to absolute eyesore

Update 18:

no edits anymore?

Update 19:

No more edits really? Trevor I honestly treasure your answers and thats very amusing to me that you starred my question.

Yea this whole incident is so amusing to me as well, so amusing that i am having a headache now.

8 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    It's sad that your experience has been so negative.

    Not everyone is an honest person, and even people who make extravagant promises of affection and friendship over a long period of time are not always telling the truth.

    It's unfortunate that you have struck a kind of fellow who is no more or less than a user.

    Don't waste a minute more on worrying about this guy. Get out and find some nicer friends and have no more to do with him at any level ~ do not give him the chance to hurt you again.

    In a few months, you can forget him completely and go on and have a happy life with other, nicer and more deserving people.

    Best wishes :-)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Unfortunately he sounds like a royal Asshole and you have been on the receiving end of his real nature.

    I will bet he has tried it on a lot of other women, but likely as not most of them keep the conspiracy of silence over his bad behavior.

    Just put it down to experience, and realize that sex with no strings attached is a big myth.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm so very sorry. It's hard to say for sure since I'm not there and don't know either of you, but it sounds like you have been betrayed. The best thing for you to do is stay away from him and try your best to forget he exists.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm sorry to tell you but he seems like a cold-hearted person, and you got played. You were most likely a ****-and-run.

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you were a virgin why would you give it to some exchange student you just met? Pffft no-one can talk you into that ****. You were waiting and you let some guy talk you into giving yourself to him, seriously. I am sorry but if you are that gullible then you walked yourself right into a trap.

  • 1 decade ago

    He got what he wants from you. How pathetic that guy was.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    He'll meet his match someday and he'll suffer too.

    great answer "T"

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago


Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.