Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

Help i need strong advice plz read ill give 10 pts?

She has a bf wich treats her bad and hits her and she gave him her virgintiy to him (she 15, i'm 17) . They been together 10 months and they brake up and get back Ive know her for more then a ear... We kissed and stuff. She said she likes me as a friend then l8r she said she liked me so then her lil sis told me she told her that she still likes me till this day. I told her my feelings again and she said she sees me as a friend now. Also Everytime we hang out she cant stop starring at me for sum reason.

1. "Her bf said he wants to have her baby and she said ok"

2. "Hes very controlling of her. When ever she hangs out with my friends she be telling them oh i gotta go before he gets ver mad".

3. "I also just noticed she was all bruised up in her arms and back"... She wears a jacket to school everyday even if its hot.

I told her mom about the whole thing and she beat her *** did i do ok??????????????????.......... Now shes going to be friends with him but even then im worrie hell still mess around with her should i be????... Also i feel alot better i told her mom i feel like its my time to move on should i also as in stop talking to her??????

9 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best answer

    If staying and lingering about this person makes you feel bad, just cut it off. You are doing the right thing. This problem will soon start to clog up your mind and thus eventually screw up your future.

    Move on. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. There are even jellyfish.

    Source(s): Personal View Indirect Experience
  • 1 decade ago

    So if I'm reading this right, you told her mom and then her mom beat her?? Sounds like this girl has a weak support channel all around. If her home life is so crappy that her parents would beat her over being beaten by a boyfriend, she probably has little to no self-confidence so being beaten and treated like crap is something she is used to and she'll continue to deal with unless someone intervenes. Do I think you should be in a relationship with her? No. Definitely not. Should you be a great friend to her and support her and try to get her some help? Absolutely. She doesn't need to move into another relationship right now because she's fifteen, sexually active and is okay with conceiving a child...she obviously doesn't know what love is or what it means to be fifteen. More than likely she is love with the idea of being in love and will take whoever is willing to love her because she doesn't get it at home. You don't need an intimate relationship with her because she has a lot of issues and thats not something you need on your plate at 17. What you need to do is sit her down and talk to her straight. Let her know that you suspect that her boyfriend is abusing her, about her mom and home life and tell her you want to get her some help. If she agrees then go to an adult you trust who won't hurt her. Maybe a teacher or counselor at school. If she doesn't agree don't force her into anything. Just reassure her that you're there, as a friend, and if she decides she wants help you'll be there for her. However, if these people are beating her severely or regularly, you should go to someone who can intervene. Thats just a call you're going to have to make. Just be strong for her, because that is what she needs most, someone who cares for her and will actually support her.

  • 1 decade ago

    You definitely did the right thing by telling her mother. That girl had no business with him, but she did lose her virginity to him so it may be hard for her to just cut off those romantic feelings towards him. She is young, so it is good that she got away from him now. I do not think you should stop talking to her. If you really care for her and how she feels, the you should let her know that you are there for her. She will need a friend through all of this, and since you are the one who told her mother it is very important that you let her know you have her best interest at heart. Hope that helps!

    Source(s): Was, unfortunately, in an abusive relationship in high school... thank God I got out!
  • 1 decade ago

    If you told mom about it and mom beat her .. sounds like she is being raised in an abusive family. Being controlled by another person is all she knows. Very sad situation for her. How do you know her mom beat her???? Is that what she told you? or you get that from a third party? If you infact care enough for her It would be best to be that

    'friend'. Friends talk to oneanother. Express there feelings and concerns about everythibg in general. Don't be pushy about it. Go slow and soft on your approch. try to get her to open up about her relationship with her parents as well as with her boyfriend. I think you should speak with your parents about your suspisions. If she is caught between to abusive relationships there are people than are trained to help. Then at some point introduce here to your church. Help her learn about God and Jesus. Pray for them all. If you choise to be that 'Friend' she asked you for, It's a tought. But someone has to be strong. I wish you and her well. God bless you both.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Good you told her Mom! I have heard about women and girls that get trapped in situations like this but have never actually seen it. They get beaten by bf or husband...he apologizes and promises to make things right....she takes him back...and it happens again and again and again and again.....it wont...will not....ever....stop. If a man or a woman hits his or her wife or husband it will happen again. She needs to understand that and get away from him. She might talk to a school counselor or someone at DHS in addition to talking to her Mom.

    Her Mom needs to break that off for your friend or it wont get broken off. Then her Mom needs to get your Friend some kind of counseling...she should not allow anyone to treat her like that, ever.

    It sounds like she does not respect herself very much and has a low self esteem. That is probably caused by her home life. She probably does not get a lot of emotional support at home. Maybe you could encourage her to seek the help of a couselor and encourage her to stay away from people like that.

    Lastly, she has said she does not want to be bf/gf with you. So forget about trying to get her to like you in that way. You're just gonna continue to be hurt if you dont. If she does not take your advice concerning getting help...you have done all you can do.

  • Arcare
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    If all you say is true, then she definitely needs to leave her boyfriend or talk things out, resolve the problem some way. Don't let her settle into that indecisive state when all the bad things are just fogged up and no one wants to talk about it or do anything about it!

    If she won't do it, try talking to the boyfriend yourself, and keep talking to her and her friends...

  • 1 decade ago

    Well she is be abused and she may like you but is caught up. In her mind she may think I like him but if I act on it I may get hit by(whoever) her guy is. But I would try to help her get out of this thing. Abuse is bad and you shouldn't walk out of her life unless she keep going back to him and don't want your help. Stop this as..ho... before it get worse.

  • 1 decade ago

    well u have done what u could to save her etc...but its time for u 2 move on and have a life for urself than worrying for her....u dont have 2 stop being friends to her but maintain a distance...

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Talk her into purchasing a guy and getting self defense training to stand up to her boyfriend and then should move on with your life...

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