I'm sad because lots of people have girlfriends and lovers and i never have, 21 yo?

Hello everyone thanks for taking the time to read this. I am a 21 year old guy and the only sex i've ever had is the one i had to pay for, but the most dissapointing thing for me is that girls actually do like me but i run away from them because i'm insecure about my smile and i'm afraid they might not like me and would leave me more sad. I know this because they make it obvious to me they fancy me but I just shy away avoid eye contact and move on...

I'll give you a handful of examples of what happened today.

I live in the uk and today (sat 14-03-09) I went to a clothes retail shop. as i was walking a rather fit polish lady was walking toward me and she was eying me up, I looked at her in the eye and made an exprssionless but cross face at her, expectedly she made the same face and i the looked away from her and she walked by.

Continuing up to the last floor of the mens section I decided on the clothes i wanted to buy and waited in the queue. There was an attractive girl behind the counter and she asked me to comeover. Her work colleuge arrived and they started chatting , anyway as she was putting the clothes in the bag she said to her friend she'll get of work at 6.00P.M, then she turned round and give a big blatant smile toward me. Do you know what I said "bye" I took my things and walked away, I could of killed myself right then with the coat hanger. This is how bad men are created.

A few more things i can remember now

In my college, there's this girl in my class I really fancy and she fancies me, anyway about 3 months ago right she asked me if i liked to take a taxi cab with her to the station as we are both arrive there and go our seperate ways. anyway I went with her and we struck up a general convo then at the station we talked for ages cos her train was delayed. I didnt really smoke cigs then but i started smoking to talk with her. We went our seperate ways. then the next week i totally BLANKED her i didnt even look at her, why i dont know . as she walked by one time in class to leave she called me a tease. I blank her still, but recently I have tried to make an effort to talk to her and she still likes me i think, why i dont know 4 months on. I desperately want to take those taxi lifts with her again and talk to her again but i dont know how to after all this time, she probably thinks i hate her.

12 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ouch, I get like that a lot, too. Well, you kind of have to be more confident, even if you don't like the way you look or whatever, being confident will help you out. Girls like a man who is confident, not cocky. When another lady does talk to you, just make the attempt to talk back. What do you have to lose? You've missed quite a few other women, might as well go for one now!! Add a little bit of sense of humor to your convo's so things can be less awkward for you and the girl. Even if you do and don't want to go for the taxi cabs, just say yes like it's the only word you know!! You really need to build up your confidence, you're 21, you aren't getting any younger.

    Best of luck Buddy =)

  • 1 decade ago

    Mate i feel really sorry for you. I think it sounds like the girl from college definately likes you, so you don't need to be concerned about the way you look. Try asking her out for a coffee or something so that it's not too much like a serious date.

    If you are being flirted with by shop workers you clearly don't need to worry about the way you look, although i know it can be hard once you have it in your mind that you aren't attractive.

    If you really can't get over your self-image problem professional counselling would probably help.

    Don't let the b@stards that have answered above get to you. Good luck!!

  • 4 years ago

    you will find the perfect girl one day. you sound like a really decent , great guy. im a 21 year old girl, and i have had two long term relationships. both of them are over now, and in some ways i wish they hadn't happened. i want to wait for that right person and not get emotionally invested with people who aren't right. save yourself (your emotions, everything) for the right girl. make sure u treat her well when she DOES (and will come along). i dated one guy because i wanted a boyfriend for a couple of years. the next guy i met , he was so fun, but he disrespected me AND came with a history of abuse (he had been sexually abused). PEOPLE have a lot of baggage so just enjoy being single while it lasts. TRUST ME i hope this helps. ps. there is a guy i go to university with. he is 21 too. and he is shorter then me, but when we caught up last week there was this connection. we didnt flirt or anything, but when im with him im happier then ive ever been in my whole life. you will experience that too dont worry. i know even if nothing happens, it was great to have just met him.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think that basically you are underestimating yourself or feeling inferior. You do not have to and the fact that especially the last gf had

    that time with you you should have started to feel at ease in the company of the other sex. You may not have sisters or did not have time to mix with girls so that you start feeling yourself and understand girls. If you do not answer girls they will surely take it that you are not interested in them or to start getting to know them.

    The inferiority makes you to blank, cut short conversations. If you like the girl and you think that she still has an eye on you do your best to contact her and start talking to her. She may be understanding enough why you act like that.When meeting her keep as calm as possible and think of her more as a friend. Myself in my teenage years

    also used to find it difficult to make contact with girls. Then I started to attend a mixed youth club and then the character starts coming out, because you first deal with girls just as friends, but this will help you when coming to face a girl whom you fancy or like to get to know her more, since it generates self confidence. That is what you need. At school you should meet various of them. First engage yourself in groups. Do not let otherwise make you feel down because they have lot of girlfriends. You can do it also. Keep yourself ready to reciprocate any message you receive and reciprocate.

    Good luck.

    Source(s): Personal experience
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    hahaha u sound exactly like me. Im also 21 but im a girl.

    Im always complaining on being single and not having a bf, but i really dont give guys a chance. When a guy shows interest in me, i just try to avoid him. (i do it unconciously) i guess its the way i am.

    Maybe im scared or maybe im just not ready to be in a relationship.

    I say we stop being scared, insecure, etc, and start enjoying life! time goes by fast! and u only live once!

  • woman are built just as bad. trust me, im alomst 23 and i am the female version of you! ha! look seriously, its a confidance thing, it doesnt come easy i know. some people on here have been quite harsh. you are aMAN! just a shy, awkward one. a lot like the the guy ive been liking for 4yrs. dont worry about it too much though. coz girls like shy guys. its sweet, holds a lot of mystery and we know your the decent ones.

    this girl you like..well at least you got to the talking stage. me and my crush, who like me to, it was evdent, couldnt get more than saying hi! but, thing is you can talk. keep talking to her. go up to here. im sure she will like the attaention you give her, and she will know you like her. she needs to be convinced.

    now when it comes to getting confiance. it will just happen when time is right. i managed to sort of gain it by getting work, job, projects, be more social and interacting. or just get plain drunk embaress your self silly, then you wont feel like you have to be shy any more. coz people will have seen you at your worst.

    take care

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago


    I read it all.

    You sound very shy... you need help with your shyness.

    Start with this girl from college.... force yourself to at least tell her friend you like this girl, ask for her mobile number... you could send her a txt and explain you are shy cos you like her. Or find her on facebook and message her on there.

    Its easier that why. Im sure she will understand. She obviously likes you so be brave.


  • 1 decade ago

    i know how u feel ppl tell me i'm pretty n guys r after me n stuff n i'm not confident about my smile either but hey! since there r girls after u den who cares abt ur smile? just do what i do everyday, stand infront of the mirror n practise to c what smile u can make dat makes u still look good (ex. toothy smile, grin, ordinary smile ...) n den practise away from the mirror u can take pix of urself n determine ... but again just have confidence in urself girls love dat ;) ... n abt that girl there cud still be hope, go to her talk to her who knows? maybe she cud b urs ;)

    God bless!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    No wonder you don't have a girlfriend, it sounds like you are a winey 8itch. You don't need a gf to be happy, whatever happens, happens.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    For Gods sake.. Either man up or stop moping around on here to people who couldnt care less.

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