How do you deal with Racist feelings...do they ever chang or become healed?

The racist feelings are from myself, I feel like a racist because of my past experiences and I would like to know if I can rid myself of them. I know this is wrong, I know it's not a good thing for me to have them but I do and there is no denying this fact......it's ugly and I hate the way I feel inside.

Why do I have these feelings:

I was raised in a predominately BLACK neighborhood and attended a nearly all black school in the 1970's. I won't go into many details because that would take away from the real problem....my racist feelings. I will say that what I and my sister & mother experienced was beyond terrifying. My sister was beaten numerous times because she was white, blonde hair and pretty, black girls hated my sister and she never had one friend growing up, to this day she is bitter and has extreme racial attitude against all black people...in one case she was hospitilized. My mother went through a hell that I won't repeat here on yahoo answers, see was a divorced white woman.

We have always hated black history Month or Martin Luther's Kings cause...these things made us want to scream...and scream we did in silence. We never had a civil rights organization, we had had the NAACP to turn to...these issues were insults to injury to say the least.

WE grew up hearing how we "white people" enslaved them, even though our father's family came to America in 1908 and our mothers family faught for the north during the civil war...it didn't matter to them, we were white and to be punished....and we were, and we live with those scares to this day.

What now:

This all happened many years ago but the feelings are still there. I can rationize that not every black person did this to us...not every single black person is this way. I can intellectually rap my mind around that but the feeling are there. I live in an all white middle class area on purpose, I avoid any contact with blacks, I felt a sick feeling when Barack Obama was elected, I wanted so badly to write his Minister to tell him what I thought of him and his church...I wanted to say and do much...I really felt this anger for blacks. I remember doing so research proving they didn't invent the things they claim...I really enjoyed knowing this......driven by hate!

I know these things...I know I feel this way and I know it's wrong, it's ugly and this must change in me..I must change but I feel powerless to change my mind.

I feel willing to become willing to change if that makes any sense. I have never talked about this with anyone except my wife...I am ashamed of myself for how I feel.

answers....suggestions...help!

thanks

5 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best answer

    Wow what a great question!

    Racism in our culture is most often attributed to white people. I believe that it is something that is inherent in people of all races. You in fact experienced racism and discrimination in what you described. People prefer to associate within their comfort zones. That is why if you see a large group of people hanging out the crowds will naturally cluster into smaller groups. This is because the variances in language, culture, dress, etc. Human kind is naturally self segregating where it becomes a problem is when we transfer negative thought and feeling on an individual based on experiences with one group or another. To judge one person because of their color, race, religion, etc. is bigotry. I think this is a moral issue that every individual must face during life. Often many people have no problem with being racist and we have institutions here in the US that are racist. NAACP, we have special days or weeks set aside like national Black history month. It is openly racist have you ever heard of a national white history month? or how about a united Caucasian college fund? There is an obvious double standard, which does only one thing, adds fuel to the fire so to speak.

    The fact that you feel shame shows you recognize that is morally wrong to be a bigot. It is a short coming of most people and most will not be honest with themselves or others about it. Here is the bad part, racism, and bigotry will never go away as long as there are humans. It is a human trait. Not a white trait, black, brown, yellow, red trait but a HUMAN trait. It is something each individual has to deal with in their own way and no matter how had our government tries to legislate it out of existence it will always be there.

    I think you should be proud of the fact that your facing it honestly with yourself. It is a growth process to get rid of the habit of prejudging people and will take some time. I don't think it will ever go completely away but what I do is try to recognize it when I do it and then change my behavior.

    Keep on plugging through life it gets eraser with practice. Congratulations on facing what it a monumental task you have already taken the hardest part of the journey.

    I hope this has been helpful.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    That's a tough one to answer. Usually a person with strong prejudice is asked to try to find the source. You already have done that.

    Then, counselors will encourage you to talk openly about all the things that happened in your past that might have contributed to the feelings.

    Slowly, as the client states the facts and his feelings, those feelings most often begin to change. You already have stated that your ideas/feelings are not acceptable. Often this does not surface quickly in counseling or therapy.

    You have such a head start that I encourage you to see a counselor. With your insights, you shouldn't need help for long.

  • buddy1
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    For as long as there's a variation in human caracteristics there will be a reason to have feelings of prejudice or discrimination and I think that's just human nature. It's not whether you have those thoughts but rather what you choose to do with them. I'm a non-white, non-black individual and I certainly have those emotions toward other people and I choose to socialize with my own race for the most part, but I believe it has to do more with culture rather than the color of one skin, the way people are raised and the way we project our feelings onto other beings.

  • 1 decade ago

    As long as you recognize these racist feelings and thoughts, you're in control of them.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I voted for Obama.

    But I can empathize with you on all the other points.

    Just remember this. You White people can be racists, we, on the other hand, cannot.

    And you better not forget it.

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