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K asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles · 1 decade ago

Funniest joke you've ever heard?

What is the funniest joke you've ever heard in your life?? I love this one:

A man gets into a taxi and says to the taxi driver "Can you drop me off 12 miles down the way."

The taxi driver nods and sets off.

Halfway through the journey, the man decides he wants to get out and walk for a bit.

He taps the taxi driver on the shoulder.

The taxi driver screams and crashes the car into the sidewalk.

"I'm so sorry!" said the man, "I would have never done that if I'd thought it'd scare you so much!"

"It's okay, it's okay," The taxi driver says, "It's just that this is my first day as a taxi driver, I've been driving hearses for 25 years!"

:D :D :D

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best answer

    Yeah your one's funny. I got mine from a b-day card!

    There's 10 men and 1 woman hanging on a rope-ladder from a helicopter over shark-infested waters. The rope is going to break unless someone lets go. Obviously, there are no volounteers. Then the woman makes a heart-warming speech about how she will do it because she is used to doing things for men....

    ..... and all the men start clapping with both hands. Soon, the woman and helicopter piolet hear ten splashes in the water.

    I think that's pretty funny!

    Please answer mine?

    http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Au...

    Thanks!

  • 1 decade ago

    Before marriage....

    He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

    She: Do you want me to leave?

    He: No! Don't even think about it.

    She: Do you love me?

    He: Of course! Over and over!

    She: Have you ever cheated on me?

    He: No! Why are you even asking?

    She: Will you kiss me?

    He: Every chance I get.

    She: Will you hit me?

    He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!

    She: Can I trust you?

    He: Yes.

    She: Darling!

    After marriage....

    Simply read from bottom to top.

  • 1 decade ago

    lmao (=

    There's a gay guy and a straight guy walking in the mall. They walk past this store when the straight one asks, "What material is that shirt made out of?" To which the gay guy answers, "Nylon." The straight guy asks, "how do you know that?" And the gay guy says, "because gay guys know everything." So they keep walking and walk by another store, and the straight guy ask's, "what are those ties made out of?"

    "Silk"

    "How do you know?"

    "Because gay guys know everything"

    So they keep walking, and they walk by

    Umm haha wait what are those things called in malls again ? Like stairs but they go up and down?

    [wait for your 'audience' to say escilator]

    See gay guys do know everything! =)

    (Use lesbian if youre telling it to a girl)

    I love that joke (=, you have to do it in person though

  • 1 decade ago

    So, at a local Sunday School, a school teacher asks her students

    "Where can you find Jesus?"

    One of the students says, in heaven

    another says, in my heart..

    another say " In the bathroom"

    The teacher stunned, asks, why he would say that...

    so he replies

    Every morning when my dad wakes up, he goes to the bathroom and say " Jesus Christ, are you still in there!"

    Source(s): jokes4all.net
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  • Q:Why was Cinderella so bad at sport?

    A:Because her coach was a pumpkin!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?...

    Because he was dead.

    Blunt but funny and realistic.

  • 1 decade ago

    funny

  • 1 decade ago

    Q: why are turds (yes turds) tapered on the ends?

    A: so you butt doesn't slam shut.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    WATCH THE MOVIE THE ARISTOCRATS !!! NOT THE CAT MOVIE....THE ARISTOCRATS ..ITS AWESOME!!!

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