Please help me.. I want to die?

All through my life I have taken peoples bull crap.. lots of people constantly reminded me of how ugly I was in grade 7. Like, every day. Guys asked me out, and I got my hopes up, only to find out it was an effing joke. Now I'm fat too. Do you not think being 5'6'' and 190 pounds is fat? Yes. I am... show more All through my life I have taken peoples bull crap.. lots of people constantly reminded me of how ugly I was in grade 7. Like, every day. Guys asked me out, and I got my hopes up, only to find out it was an effing joke. Now I'm fat too. Do you not think being 5'6'' and 190 pounds is fat? Yes.
I am ugly. I don't deserve the guy who likes me right now. Fat people don't deserve the things normal sized people do. I can't be beautiful. I can't be sexy. Guys can never be attracted to me.
I'm a pants size 12/14.. its hard to find nice clothes for fat people like me. They make clothes small because thats the size I should be.
It's not like I haven't tried to lose weight. But my thyroid disease that I developed when I was 8 years old makes it very hard.
How can I ever be happy with the size I am, even though I'm obese. (And theres not much I can do about my face.)
BTW I'm 17, and my boyfriend is 22. I will never be able to satisfy him, because I'm too fat to have sex. I'll just look gross to him.
:) sorry for thhe story, and thanks if you answer xx
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