Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 decade ago

Kids VS Parents argument... who agrees with me?

Note: "We" refers to us kids and "You" or "You guys" refers to you parents

1. The dreaded chores~

Listen all you parents out there. I know you guys say that we kids have to "learn our responsibilities" and "learn how to take care of ourselves", but seriously, we know how to do the dishes and clean our rooms and take out the trash, do the laundry, and take care of ourselves. So why, I ask. Why do we have to do these responsibilities called "chores". If we know how to do them, then why? Until we are grown up, 18 and out of the house, why do we have to do chores? I don't really see a need to do so until we absolutely have to. With all the energy it takes to fight with us you could have done it 3 times already. We don't even really get paid. I mean, personally, I can make more money in 2 hours of babysitting then 1 week of cleaning my room every day.

2. School work~

Why do some of you parents ground your kids when they get bad grades? Getting a D in History doesn't mean they should be deprived of friends and having fun, and just having to stay in their rooms and study all day. what we really need is you parents to help us. Come in to the room, sit down on the bed and say "I know your failing (insert subject here), but that doesn't mean that I hate you. Do you want me to help you study?" Who knows? Maybe the kid will get an A with all the help you gave them.

3. Bullies~

We know you guys get ticked when we don't tell you about it when someones picking on us. The only problem is if we tell you, then you tell that kids mom, who tells the teacher, who tells the principal, who gives the bully a "taking to". Then the bully finds out we ratted them out and picks on us 10 times more then usual.

4. Little brothers and sisters~

Ever notice how if you have more then one of us, the oldest seems kind of mad at you for no reason? This is because of responsibilities. Being the oldest in my family I know how it feels. We oldest kids are expected to work harder then the younger kids cleaning our rooms, making food and drinks for our selves, and etc. Yes, even though we give a huge argument we do end up doing chores in the end, but why just us oldest kids and sometimes the older half of the middle kids? Shouldn't little 5 year old Suzie get off her lazy butt and stop watching Dora the Explorer for 3 minutes and pick up her blocks herself? When I was 9 I was expected to clean my own room. I always gave an enormous fight, but it was always clean in the end. Now little Alex is 9 too (I'm referring to Alex as my own little brother). What is he told to clean? Nothing. When is he ever told to get his own drink? Never. This is why we get so ticked at you guys sometimes! Deny it you may, but whether you realize it or not, it's the truth.

5. Sexism~

Now I'm only protecting one half of us (the half I am actually). Us girls. I know "Daddy doesn't want to see his little girl grow up", BUT JUST MOVE ON MAN! What we girls see as unfair is that if 14 year old Josh is allowed to date and doesn't get nagged when he's out until 9/10/11 o' clock with a girl, and actually gets support from Dad, and this "Dad" figure tells him stuff like "That's my boy", and "Like father like son", and crap like that, while 16 year old Jess is up stairs crying into her pillow that "Daddy won't let me date Jake!" when, while Jake being a cool, popular guy, that is the same age and doesn't do drugs or smoke, in the eyes of "Dad" "Isn't good enough for my little girl". See how sexist you are "Daddy"? Letting 14 year old, perverted, probably-only-dating-so-he-can-get-laid Josh date, while not letting 16 year old (2 years older) good reasoned, just wants to meet a guy who is nice to her and is gentlemanly Jess date? And if your using the lame, "I trust Jess, I just don't trust the boys" excuse, then how come you trust Josh? I rest my case.

Thanks for giving me some of your time kids and parents. Please leave what you do and do not agree with me below.

Thank You! :)

Update:

Oh come on! I spend my time making a valuable argument to all you idiot parents that must not remember what it was like being a kid and you shoot me down! This is exactly WHY I made this! READ IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH!

Update 2:

Well at least some of the answers at the bottom aren't just telling me that I shouldn't be a ***** in 5 or less words

Update 3:

Yeah I probably shouldn't have started with chores... it's just always the first thing on my mind when I want to rant... I've cooled off now though, I guess I just wanted to reason with all the parents out there. Even if you think I'm a know it all teenage brat from the first sentence, read it all the way through. Compared to most teenage girls my age I'm not as much of a ***** as you think.

21 Answers

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  • CDT
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Best answer

    This is why adults look down upon teens and think they're disrespectful, irresponsible, immature, spoiled brats. You're one of the many teens that give the rest of us a bad reputation. I'm 18 and i moved out of my mom's house (with her permission) when i was 16 because she was slightly abusive so it's not like i had a good relationship with her but i feel a great need to defend parents against you. You make them sound absolutely horrible, like they haven't done and don't do a ton for you. They gave you life, the gave (give) you clothes, food, housing, money etc. They do what they think is best. They do the best they can...they aren't miracle workers.

    Why is it so hard for you to get off your butt to do something for your parents without comparing treatment between you and your siblings? You can't take 10 minutes to wash the dishes? Dust the shelves? Your life is so important, your time so much more precious that you can't help your parents out after they raised you, cooked for you, bought you unnecessary things etc. They work, they raise kids...once you're old enough you can help out graciously. You don't have to be such a witch about it. I didn't even have to be asked by my mom to do chores. When i went to public school, i had the house tidy, the laundry done, the dishes done, ingredients for supper set out and my homework done by the time my mom got home at 6:30 every night. It's not that hard.

    If kids are doing the best they possibly can and are getting C's or D's, then it calls for a tutor but they shouldn't be grounded. If they're slacking and not reaching their full potential on purpose, then they have no right to go out with their friends. Their time can obviously be better spent on something far more important. Going out is a privilege and you need to earn it by doing your work properly and doing what needs to to be done around the house.

    You don't have to tell your parent squat about bullies, but then don't complain to them or anyone else when it gets worse because you constantly have a chance to fix it.

    Little siblings do get cut a lot of slack, that's just how it is most of the time. But sometimes older sibling screw up so badly a create such problems for their parents that it's taken out on the littler siblings with more rules and restrictions. It's hard to keep things fair with siblings and you just have to accept it. LIFE ISN'T FAIR! It's best if you learn that lesson now so it doesn't slap you in the face later on. People aren't always treated equally and that's just how things work.

    And everyone knows there are double standards between guys and girls. People believe girls need to be more respectable and shy and quiet and that they need to be kept pure. Also, there's the fact that girl's can get pregnant and it follows them around for the rest of their life no matter what they do about but guys can just walk away. There's more at risk for girls when it comes to relationships and intimacy and of course parents are going to be protective of that. You just have to deal. Everybody goes through it and they deal.

    These things...aren't important and you're harping and harping and you sound like an ungrateful little brat. You know what my mom has told me? That her life would've been better had she aborted me. I try and try and try to get her to like me, do everything i possibly can. But reality is, she could've aborted me...she came close. But she gave me life i'm incredibly thankful for that. So no matter how many hurtful things she says and does and no matter how many things that aren't equal between me and my sister, i go over and above what i can to make what she has to do easier. I'm sure your parents don't say anything nearly as hurtful to you...so why can't you just help them out of the goodness of your heart? Are you really that cold and ungrateful for all that they've done for you? Are you really that much of a witch?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    1. It's not fair to expect mom and dad to pick up after you all the time. It is fair for everyone in the house to help out so everyone has an easier time of it.

    2. I don't agree with homework unless you actually need the extra practice. I do agree with helping your children succeed. Example- my 16 year old sister in law was failing math. A few weeks of my husband tutoring her and she was getting A's. Help is definately a better alternative to grounding.

    3. I was bullied so I get what you are saying. As a parent though it's hard to know your kid is getting picked on without doing anything. Bullying is a lose lose situation.

    4. I was the second oldest of 5, so I also agree with what you are saying there. I had way more chores at a much younger age than my younger siblings had. In fact my 15 year old sister (the baby) still does next to nothing when it comes to chores and it's only her and my 19 year old brother left in the house. Everyone should have a job to do.

    5. Easy answer to that dispute. Boys can't get pregnant. I think that's what it all comes down to. Parents might sugar coat it in so and so isn't good enough or I don't want my daughter to grow up, but I think it's all about pregnancy. If a girl gets pregnant then that effects her totally. A boy can just walk away. Sure, he might have to pay child support, but that's the extent that he's responsible for.

    Source(s): Mother of two boys: 5 yrs & 2 yrs. Older sibling to 3.
  • Jeff N
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    You've raised some legitimate concerns. Just keep in mind that parenting is a "learn as you go" type of proposition. Parents will make mistakes. Usually, most of the mistakes with child #1 will not be repeated with child #2. Less mistakes are made with child #3, etc. At the same time, parents may refine their thinking as the years pass,

    However, I agree with you that - IN MOST CASES - what is allowed for 1 child at a certain age should be allowed for another child at that same age. The same can be said about requiring a child to do certain chores at identical ages.

    I also agree that gender should not make a difference. In your case, I agree that you should be allowed to date since your younger brother is.

    The tricky part is the level of maturity of the kid. I wouldn't allow my 16 year old kid (male or female) to drive if he/she wasn't mature enough. It wouldn't matter how many siblings or friends were/are allowed to at 16.

    Chores teach kids how to be responsible. Allowances, when used in conjunction with chores, teaches a kid about having a job and earning money. I agree that all of the siblings should be treated equally and fairly.

    School work and report cards present a problem for parents. If a "C" is the best that a kid can earn, so be it. However, if he/she could have done better if he/she had just worked a little harder or studied better, then a "C" becomes unacceptable.

    Try not to make it a "US vs THEM" battle. Family members should work together for the benefit of the WHOLE family.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    1. Chores: Mom is not the equivalent of maid, YOU KIDS make the messes, YOU KIDS can clean them. My guys have been doing chores since they could walk according to their age. My house during the school year is immaculate with little effort from me at all, why, because the ones who make the messes are at school. Thus, kids need to do chores because they are the ones to make the messes.

    2. School work: WE, the parents, feel, that if you spent a little less time necking w/the Jesses of the world and a little more time hitting the books, you would have those better grades. Sorry if you are unhappy Mommy and Daddy won't do your work for you, but that's how it is.

    3. Bullies: If you can get on here crying about parents helping out to deal w/bullies, you have never really been bullied. I had to pull my son out of school and home school him for a year to protect him from these monsters, why, because everyone else sat on their FAT BOTTOMS doing nothing.

    4. Little Brothers and Little Sisters: Frankly, I don't know about your household, but believe it or not, not every household has siblings who are jealous and/or despise the fact they have younger siblings. My guys get along just fine, thank you very much. All of them, when they wrap their chores up quicker than another, will pitch in to help.

    5. Sexism: Again, not every house is run that way. Get over it.

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  • bubs
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I'm 18 and a parent I think I can answer this.

    1: kids do chores because its not fair that the parents have to clean, cook, wash, look after themselves and their kids all on their own, if you can do these things why not help your parents.

    2: I would never ground my child for doing badly in school, but if I know he can do the work and he is still failing then it has to be laziness or something so he will have a certain loss of privileges, if however he is actually struggling to do the work then I will try my best to help him improve.

    3: because we don't like the idea of our children being hurt, whether emotionally or physically, we want the best for them and will try to make them as happy as they can be.

    4: all kids have to do chores but the reason the older child usually has more responsibility is because they think they can handle it, that the younger child is still a baby and cant look after themselves, if you look at it that way its a good thing.

    5:that's why girls have mothers, to stop dads from being unreasonable and stupid, mothers are usually the same about their sons though, so it usually evens out.

  • 1 decade ago

    The dreaded chores~~You need to do chores. Not only does it make you responsible but you learn how to do things the right way. It does not hurt you to help out in the house you live in. I had chores. My kids have chores and they do not complain about it. Even my daughter babysat for me when I worked. ONLY when I worked. She cleaned the house and even had supper waiting for me. I PAID her for that. I did not go out on dates and expect her to watch her brother all the time like some parents do. Just buck up and do the chores, you will be thanking the parents later.

    School work~~Okay, if a kid is having troubles that is one thing. They do not deserve the grounding and punishment for making a D or even an F if they can not understand things. But I am seeing a niece of mine just try to get by on the miminum and even not doing a lot of her assignments. She gets D's and F's...does this mean she should not pay the price for flunking when we know she can do the work?

    Bullies~~IN most schools that I know of they have anti-bully rules now so if a bully is making life heck for you they should know about it so they can do something...do you really like taking the trouble everyday from that bully?

    Younger siblings~You are the oldest of the kids or one of them. I am too. You are part of that family unit....just deal with it. I know you hate having to clear up after the younger ones but just do it. One day they may have to clear your mess up...not necessarily one at the house but maybe when you are an adult.

    NO COMMENT ON THE LAST ITEM.

    You sound so angry in this....why?

  • Ista
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    1. Chores. You live here, you enjoy the amenities offered. You can contribute. You will contribute. Be pleased that your parents put up with your sass and backtalk with no additional consequences. My son does his chores without complaint, as he knows to do so, increases his workload. If you have time to complain, you have plenty of time for extra chores.

    2. School work. I will applaud a hard earned C more energeticly than I will an easy A. If you are sincerely trying your hardest, and still not doing better than failing, than I must be doing something wrong. If you are lazing about, not studying, doing your homework, etc, then we have a problem. Let me rephrase that... YOU have a problem. That problem is now ME. Why the grounding? Because you obviously aren't managing your time well enough on your own, and I'm thoughtful enough to help you do so.

    3. I understand the bully thing. I want to help, to at least be an ear you can come to when you need to talk. I want to know what is going on in your life. If you don't talk, how am I to know what's up? Would you prefer I search your room in a desperate attempt to know what's going on in your mind and life? I thought not. Clue me in and keep your privacy.

    4. Don't get me started. I was the oldest. My brother is 5 yrs younger than me, between washing his laundry, in addition to my own, and cleaning his room, in addition to my own, not to mention my other many chores, while he sat on his lazy butt, I can and do feel your pain. I can't begin to understand this one, much less explain it. All I can promise you is if I do have another, I'll work him/her just as much as I do the son I already have. Best I can reason why parents do this, is the baby is always the baby, and they never seem to want to acknowledge that the baby does grow up.

    5. Sexism will plague you for the rest of your life. Learn to deal with it now. In addition to why parents are more lenient than boys. Your brother has ZERO chance of coming home pregnant. You on the other hand... Not saying your premiscuous. Not even hinting at it, but accidents do happen. Especially if they let you out from under lock and key. And again, I can relate. I was there, and my father did the same types of things. Just be glad it's almost over, a few more years and you can join the big, scary world of reality, and go out on your own and make your own decisions.

    Good luck!

  • 4 years ago

    I think one thing for the nay-sayers to remember is that gay is not the same as pedophile. More children are molested by straights than gays. Your sexual orientation does not automatically make you a good or bad parent. (Incidentally, I am not gay) However, I am smart enough and aware enough to know that closed minds make a big mouth, so expect a lot of flak from this question. ADDENDUM: The reason children are smarter when they have one-on-one parenting is the extra attention, love and education they get. Studies have found that cuddling and holding babies makes a huge difference in their personalities, that reading to babies from books gets them a early start on learning and stimulates the potential for the future. This is evident even in animals. The difference between talking to a puppy and teaching it manners at an early age is a lot different that sticking into a crate or yard and never talking to it until it is more mature. #1 bossman....of COURSE you would rather see a child dragged up in an orphanage than be brought up with an open mind. I'm sure you will propetuate your narrow-minded bigotted point of view to your own. And they, in turn, will pass it along. And if one of your kids turns out to be gay, you'll disown them. You can tell by you knick that you're a control freak...and you can tell by you answer you have tunnel vision.

  • 1 decade ago

    As a parent here are my answers to your arguments:

    1. You live in my house and eat my food for free, chores are simply helping around the house, you don't want to do them then fine, buy your own food, pay your part of the electric, and you can pay me rent for living in my house, don't like it, find your own place to live and believe if your under 18 it's impossible unless you have friends to go stay with.

    2. My kids won't have to worry about getting grounded for bad grades, you do your homework before your chores, you have the weekends to hang out with friends and you have your nights after dinner to have some alone/play time.

    3. It depends on how bad the bully is. If he's harming you or calling you a slut or something to that extent I'm going to call the principal and just have him watch the student. If he acts out then the principal was there and saw it happen first hand. But if the bully is harming you physically there will be something done about it.

    4. My kids have privileges associated with their chores. If you're 15 years old, you get money to go to the movies on the weekends with your friends, you get to go out to dinner with your friends, you get to go shopping with your friends, all of which your spending money I'm working hard making. There fore it won't kill you to pick up a little more than the 7 year old who doesn't get to do the things you do.

    5. Dating is again a privelege. If you are mature enough and show your responsible around the house and at school you can go out with boys. I don't have a problem with that. But at 16 my daughter isn't going to be romping around all night with a boy who I don't even know. If they want to come over and have pizza that's fine by me, he can stay the night even, he sleeps downstairs on the couch though. It's not about being sexist, my husband is very protective over the females in our house, why? Because he was a young boy once too he know what's on their minds.

  • 1 decade ago

    Wow, an imature teenager, shocking!

    1. they put food on your plate, pay the bills, work 40+ hours a week, do most of the chores and much more. Why shouldn't you help out around the house??? Should your parents go to work only to come home and clean and cook until they go to bed and wake up and repeat it all tomorrow??? You shouldn't get an allowance for doing chores and pitching keeping the house YOU live ing clean. You are a selfish, imature teenager who obviously has no clue about this world.

    2. School is preparing you for the rest of your life. Your job is to do good in school so you can go t oa good college and get a good job, so later you can support yourself and not live off the government. Parents should help their kids with school work, but students can also initiate the question. If you do poorly it's on you first, and them second. If you don't have time to study nad do homework, then you don't have time for friends and fun. Do you school work and get good grades and you won't have to worry about loosing priveledges.

    3. Calling people may cuase more problems, but talking to you is very important.

    4. You are capable of doing more and doing a better job. Quit being selfish and worrying about what everyone else is doing. Your doing five jobs may also take the same amount of time as a 5 yr old ding one or two jobs. Grow up your the lazy one sitting on the computer complaining about your poor life.

    5. It's more common and easier for girls to get hurt in this world, parents do their best to protect their daughters. I think curfews and dating should depend on maturity not age (obviosly a mature 5 yrs old can't stay out late and date-so with in reason).

    You clearly have and atttude and maturity problem. I hope your ids treat you 10 times worse than you treat your parents so you can see how it is. I also hope you are stuck doing all the chores and working 50 hours a week as a mother, tell us when you get worn out.

    I'm not a parent, I'm a 20 yr old college student living at home and helping out around the house.

  • 1 decade ago

    Ugh you sound like a little brat. I was just like you at your age, now I've grown up and have a daughter of my own I completely understand where my parents were coming from.

    Your parents give you a house to live in, food to eat, clothes to wear, internet to use, a tv to watch and I'm betting they give you an allowance as well. You can't even do a few little chores? You don't get everything for free, you need to contribute to the household. The reason you have to "learn your responsibilities" is because if you don't do chores, when you do move out of home it will come as a complete shock to you just what you have to do around the house. And then what would you do? Go running back to mummy and daddy so they can do everything for you again? The whole idea is that you start getting use to what real life is like.

    I didn't bother to read any of your other points, because after reading the first one I came to the conclusion that you are just another know it all teenager. When you grow up you will be ashamed that you even wrote this.

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