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Lv 7
. asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

6 Fay's Talk Show starring Fay Koprah c/c?

(Audience laughing uproariously over one of Fay's rapier-sharp witticisms, which she will NOT repeat just because you tuned in too late. Let that be a lesson to you, Giggles!)

Fay - I'm so glad you found that humorous, but I have an exciting announcement this morning! We - yes, Fay's Talk Show starring Me...

has been included in... The Neilson Ratings! (foot-stomping, cheers, applause) And we...

Cassie58 - Uh, s'cuse me Fay...?

Fay - Yes, Dear?

Cassie58 - Well, they might be thinking you mean the 'Other' Neilson Ratings. Uh, Fay, as one of your producers I have to maintain the veracity of all information, so your credibility...

Fay - Well, I just received this letter today, Cassie! If you think I'm not credible, go ahead and open it while we're live!

Cassie - (reading, reading, reading. There's a second page, so...reading, reading, reading. restless foot sounds from audience) Okay, Fay. Briefly, this is a legal document forbidding you to ever call, follow, stalk, or otherwise harass Mr. Leslie Neilson again. It says, (reading) 'Yes! THAT Leslie Neilson! Star of numerous movies, including 'Airplane' and others - which included co-stars such as some dude named Oh Jay something or other and Ms Priscilla Presley (from audience, 'Thank ya, thank ya very muh...' security guard grabs Elvis impersonator - some woman wearing an enormous gold key and a gigantic tiara, and puts her out the door) 'And YES! The same Leslie Neilson who married Dorothy Zbornak in the final episode of 'The Golden Girls'! Yes! Tha...

Fay - Okay, we get it, Cassie. Uh, I can't even cal...

Cassie - (reading) '...under threat of arrest', Fay; that's what he says.

Fay - Oh, well... Tiime for a commercial break, then I'll anounce my guests for today...

Be afraid...Mizzy, Jellz, Neonman, guy in green knit cap, Big Hairy-but cuddly-stiff-postured security guard...maybe more. Maybe more...

Update:

I believe the stick has been dislodged & HH is about to give me a piece of his mind - which I totally deserve, btw. So don't get mad at him, kay? BTW, HH it's me - I be the one who won't go away, jest case you misunderstood dat BA thing. XOX

Update 2:

Loud speaker attached to building of Fay Koprah (Harpok Yaf Studios) Reverberating voice, "STOP BABY BLUES! IT WER, I MEAN IT WAS A MISTAKE; COME BACK! I GOTS YA A PLATE OF COOKIES & YOUR RED STILLETOS. I needs ya, Baby, please..."

Update 3:

Show resumes:

Stage hand slips an envelope to Producer Cassie 58. She opens & scans, reacts with horror and interrupts Fay gushing over a sobbing ShirleyF. "So sorry, Dear. You can sit in the front row and do your Elvis impressions anytime you want." I prom..."

Cassie58 - Fay, FAY! The hairless security guard just ran off Baby Blues, aka Baby Blues Rocks! What do I do?

Fay - Sorry listeners; it's an emergency! Which is my personal plea button on my loud-speaker? Oh, thank you, Cassie! Expect a bonus in this week's pay!

Cassie58 - Really, Fay?

Fay - At least DOUBLE what I paid you last week (Fay said, revealing her generous side).

Cassie58 - Buh... But, Fay?

(Fay turns to her loud speaker into which she says that stuff up there which the stupid writers put in prematurely. And two security guards grab and toss out the door the other security guard - the bad one who wouldn't allow Baby Blues into the set. He will never work in this town again.)

Update 4:

Baby Blues enters, runs to stage where ShirleyF is sobbing hysterically. Fay is trying unsuccessfully to comfort them but only succeeds in becoming hysterical as well. The audience, unused to weeping on the Fay Koprah Show, also begins sobbing. One fellow dressed like a German soldier begins to wail, "I miss corn!" Another man wearing a Neon blue shirt, cries, "I want my blankie!" Some guy in a raggedy knit green cap, bawls, "Sausage and bacon and sweet rolls dipped in a Bukette of honey!" One handsome young man, obviously virile, talented and wealthy, yells, "I miss my BG; I really miss her cause she loved me," just before collapsing in a heap. Mizzy is crying, "My drawers are pink - just plain pink! Not a finch in sight!" Cassie, meanwhile, keeps poking Fay in the back, saying, "Buh, but, Fay?...buh, buh, but, Fay? I don't think you paid me last week, Fay? Fay?

Fay - I'm (sob) so (sob) sorry, but we're all out of (sob) time...

Stay tuned for possible updates dot dot dot

Update 5:

Lilly45 has been hired by Fay's Talk Show starring Fay Koprah, to illustrate secific subjects. She will now be paid almost as much as Cassie58.

Update 6:

HH is standing tall - straight and tall. His posture is almost unnatural.

Ian - Anyone seen my billiard cue?

HH - (little beads of sweat on his forehead) Nnnno. I haven't ssseen it for unnnhphzzsseve-er-ral dda-aays now.

Ian - It's funny how everyone takes our bantering so seriously; no one's figured it out yet. Just goes to show you how blind people are. Have a seat, my hairy friend and I'll pour you a drink. Nice toddy, okay or would you prefer a merlot?

HH - nnngh nooga fulg depiiiiiiinderstuf

Ian - Sherry it is!

Update 7:

Jellz - What hath we wrought here, Sin?

Sin - Ppffttt! It's your falt (ignoring spell-chick) You hadda be nice to her; you hadda encourage her.

Jellz - Share the love! That's what PM Rudd tells us & we love the Rudd - ask Regwah, if ya don't believe me.

Sin - Pppfffft! But how do we stop her?

Giggles - (the mask drops revealing a different Sandy, a Sandy who is calculating and slightly devious; a Sandy who dot dot dot never dot dot dot giggles.) "Girls, I dot dot dot have a plan dot dot dot"

Jellz - Why ya saying 'dot, dot, dot' like that Sandy, girlie?

Giggles - I said that out loud question mark

Sin - Pffffffttt God help us.

Update 8:

Gideon, we'll be seeing you on show #7. Uh, you will be...fun.

Update 9:

The darling little ballerina with the musical notes thinks she has escaped. We'll let her get nice and relaxed; she'll never see it coming. Yeah, that's right. She'll never see it coming...

(the sound of laughter echoes through the empty studio; it is a sound that sends ice water through the veins of an inadvertent listener. Cassie thinks to herself, "They should be afraid, very afraid," as she slips back out the door...

12 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hysterical!

    Are there Twinkies in the Green Room?

  • I am standing at the back door, this wierd dude with no hair is telling me I have been banned for life... I am weeping now.. it cannot be true,

    I see my chance to lose this guy...

    someone set off some fire crackers around the corner and he is on them .. I slip this letter neath the door, addressed to none other than Fay Koprah

    cc: Cassie58

    with the hopes that my appeal will be read and I will once again be allowed in the building,

    When I yelled *Fire* I was not aware of the ramifications it would have in the poet world.

    I do humbly ask your forgiveness... and the rest is private OK?

    oh crap! here comes the hairless wonder, I am going to split.

    it is 845 p,m and Baby's Blues is unable to sleep .. she is laughing so hard she is crying again.. her nose is spewing and I think she wet her pants.. oops *pants*

    her migraine has hiked to the back 40 and she is going for the pill bottle to relax her ... tell Ian to hold onto the liquor, pass it to Mek, maybe, as she does not drink Brandy or any hard liquor .. she gets ghastly ill if she does..

    good night..

  • 1 decade ago

    HEY! I still got to read them all, just didn't comment

    I may be late, but I can still

    um

    GIGGLE

    giggles

    giggling.

    what would you do without Cassie?

    where's HH? I want HH back, I love that dude!

    where's Semper?

    and Sin, yeah, get Sin on again...

    well, I will stop trying to tell you what to do, you seem to be able to do a very good job all by yourselvesies (say that fast 3 times--snicker)

    :)

    [dot dot dot would you stop smiling Sin, it is annoying me so period Jellz comma stop clowning comma we have to do something and fast dot dot dot she is outta control and it's your fault dot dot dot dot]

  • 1 decade ago

    Well blow me down, there's me thinking that I've just taken early retirement and I find I'm employed again! Not only that it's a darn good job - I'll be expecting the first pay cheque soon and it better be a good one cos I know that Fay Koprah owns half of the USA

    HE he

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Phew that was close nearly lost my seat. I heard someone call "Fire" and i was like "yeah, what do want?" turns out to be that baby blues the little prankster.

  • 1 decade ago

    hahahhahhahah..........hahahhahaha.........oh, you are a bad little girlie, you....hahahhahha ...........I love, love, love these shows. I can't wait to see HH, Semper, Neon, Mizzy, Jellz & any other victim, I mean guest, you might have on your shows. Funny, funny, stuff.

    Source(s): You FIEND, Shirley
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Seems - there are security guard problems. I know a few who'll work for hamburgers ♥

    http://newagemystic.com/images/d578.jpg

  • Daisy
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    hahahaha...you stalker you!!! and cassie ever dilegent on the job!!!

    this is getting quite popular..im sur nelson will bew calling you in nooooooo time

    hahahahahahaha

  • 1 decade ago

    Another excellent show!

  • 1 decade ago

    Has any one seen my corn?

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