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. asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

8 Fay's Talk Show starring Fay Koprah *( I )*?

Back at the warehouse, it has become pandemonium. Potato salad covers the walls as well as The Poets. There is even a tiny speck on Ian's tie. Of course, it is not just any tie that any peasant could own; it had been woven from the silk of a rare Argentinian spider. When Ian learned Donald Trump was attempting to purchase a duplicate, he ordered his manservant, Sparky, to step on it. The spider, that is. But now it was destroyed. The tie, that is..... Actually, both were destroyed. But I've gotten ahead of myself.... Back to the beginning:

Hiram was still refusing to say Grace; Gideon was still insisting that no one would eat a bite until their food was blessed. The tiny dancer was gliding around, twirling innocently all the while listening to conversations. Studman had given orders; he wanted to know the names of all who were plotting against his money...er, Fay! Yeah, Fay! One of the poets, some dude in a raggedy green knit cap was so hungry he was chewing on a piece of...it appeared to be plastic fruit. "Dang!, he said. (Actually, it wasn't 'dang'.) "It's lost its flavor after all these years!" he exclaimed, and that's when he grabbed for the salt. He shook the shaker but it wasn't the salt. The ballerina, twirling nearby, created the breeze that sent microscopic bits through the air and into Hiram's nasal passages. And thus came The Sneeze That Was Heard Around The World in Yahooland. The projectile nearly grazed the head of Koye Lott, who went into Marine mode and dove in the direction from whence it came. Thinking herself under attack, Sin grabbed the nearest thing - a generous handful of Gideon's Special potato salad - and threw it. Only three people in the warehouse had clean hands at the end; Koye, who didn't use potato salad as a weapon; Hiram, because Koye had him pinned to the floor and Ian, because...because he's Ian.

The mystery of Ian's missing cue stick was solved, although Hiram was unable to supply a satisfying reason for having stuck it.......there.

Back at the Harpok Yaf Studios Fay was deciding whose career to make or break - which of the Poets would be on her show - and which of them were to be ignored. And then...and then in came Gideon and the dainty ballerina; both were grinning widely. The ballerina, speaking first, said, "Fay, we have n..." as a chunk of potato salad fell out of her hair and landed with a plop on the tip of Fay's suede pump.

Today's guests are...heh heh heh (Fay will be busy for the next several hours - busy reading what the poets have written.) Stay tuned. Not even Fay's new writers know. Did Sue Ellen shoot J.R.? Do Sam and Diane get married? Will Carla finally admit she's in love with Cliff - only to learn he's gay? And what about Norm? (The new writers are old; they wrote for tv until they were forced to retire. Forced at gunpoint.)


"Intrusivity will be our first guest today, Cassie," Fay said. "However, if you think your own talents have escaped me, Cassie, you are so wrong. You will be scheduled to appear shortly - as a guest, Dear. And I also want to do a theme - a 'blue' theme...soon."

Update 2:

(Pardon, Ms Sin, BG is still duct-taped in the closet; we are having difficulty pillaging her house. It's full of rocks and rock knick-knacks. And bagpipe CDs.)

Update 3:

And liiiights up...

Fay - Welcome friends! Put your hands together for our first guest, Intrusivity With Medium Doubt! (Applause, hoots, three carrots thrown with amazing accuracy glance off Intru's hat, oddly not knocking it out of place.)

Fay - Oh, Intru, I'm so sorry about that! But I was hoping at least one would knock off your hat! Tee hee! Is it just extra tight?

Intru - Polident, Fay! It stays on even when I'm deep-sea diving. You see I met Florence Henderson in a rest stop restroom some years ago, and...

Fay - She was in the Men's Room?

Intru - Nnn...Yeah! That's it! She was in the..er... Men's Room. But I was on my knees taking a peek...(thunderous applause, whistles, hoots)

Fay - Uh, wha?

Intru - Oh, noooo. No, no, no. Not that tiii...Uh, well ya see, Fay, I'd eaten this wormy, old Special K cereal bar and was taking a peek at my (retching sounds from the audience)

Fay - Fascinating! Go on...

We interrupt this program for this speci...ewww... uh, interruption!

Update 4:

The editors apologize for misspelling your name, Intru.

Update 5:

Sin, Giggles, the rest of you...did you notice how Jellz attempted to share the responsibility. (It's her faul...., wait... It was Buk - Buk's elephant is what piqued her...interest. Yeah, blame it on Buk.

Update 6:

...and they're white an wiggle, huh?

Intru - Yes, Fay. That's what starting my log-spin....

Fay - Let's move along, Intru; I'd like to examine your 'orblettes'? Is that a poetry form anything like the current rage - the bukette?

Intru - Fay, they don't rhyme with 'filets' - neither one. And only one is a so-called poetry form; it's buck-ette, rhymes wi.....blip....t. And that reminds me, Fay, how'd you like to go for a ride on th..blip blip blip...bt and you and I cou..blip blip...that for about f..blip blip....

Fay -...................Well, blip!


Cassie's voice: The producers of the Kay Fokrah Show wish to apologize to anyone who may have been offended during the live broadcast of Fay's Tal...Oh, screw it...

Update 7:

Intru was tossed out of the door of Harpok Yaf Studios due to complaints regarding his appearance on the show. It will be a long while before he's invited back.

Studman - Yeah, Fay! Gideon told me the pepper worked, so the potato salad wasn't needed. We got that stick dislodged from Hiram's *ss without laxatives. Maybe the big, hairy guy will be in a better mood now. Wha? Oh, they say he's been sitting all day, and Semp's been comforting him with some nice hyssop tea. I'll be home in a few, Dear. No, I didn't forget the Twinkies. Luv ya too...

15 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    WOOOOOW!!! Did you just put me in Marine Mode? LMBO! That was hilarious.

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  • oh.. no... potato salad, without eggs and pickles is not a potato salad...

    I wonder about that cue stick..... and of course I understand why HH put it where he did.. but I will not divulge.

    now the tie.. spider spun, that was a one of a kind and the spider in question descends from the one I have hanging outside my window, he is a beaut! bring him a mate and he will supply more ... then perhaps all the guys can wear spider ties..

    where is the hamster in all this? Is he hiding in Ian's pocket? Or has someone else snatched the critter and using it's poetry reciting to their advantage financially.. errr I mean *exploiting* the poor furry thing.

    just curious you know

    I got to go.. serious stuff to deal with .. yeh I know that aint no fun.

    ;;;;later on

    HELLO>>>??? hellllll 00000000000000?

    ...would you please talk slower? I cannot understand a word that you are saying.. huh?

    ok ....whatever..


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  • 1 decade ago

    The suspense is just killing me - can't wait for next episode. Just love your opening paragraph re spiders and ties. Who though is the ballerina???Missed out on the potato salad, just love that stuff but I do prefer to eat it rather than wallow in it!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There's a hint

    of Norman Mailer

    let Louise Lasser

    stare at a fork for thirty

    minutes of prime time.

    Source(s): Mary Hartman Mary Hartman
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The attraction of food fights - just the feel - of cool potato salad between the toes - is enough to send me into shivers ♥


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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You certainly know how to leave us hanging. I cant wait to see how this turns out. Me, a ballerina and potato salad. Mmmm. Interesting...

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  • 4 years ago

    I protest~~ I sat not with suspect Bayard Lady. I was merely out of site, uh uh talking, yes that was it, talking with a poet... And one I might add who would not leap out a window at the first sight of suggested danger. Humpff...

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  • 1 decade ago

    is that really HH standing there...

    is it a robot...

    where is the REAL HH? what have you done with him Fay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I don't trust Sparky, there is a sinister gleam in his eye...

    I'm beginning to think that Koye has the answer for sure, being a Marine and jumping on HH that way...hm

    Sam can't marry Diane, I forget why...

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  • 1 decade ago

    OMGosh, the best one yet! I'm LMBO. I love the Koye went into marine mode. hahahaha

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hopefully it was lousy potato salad, the German kind. I'm partial to the kind with mustard and mayo!

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