The Drop Bear (Koalas Droppii v. terroraustralis) is a totally (censored) Australian marsupial. Some claim that it is entirely derived from Aboriginal folklore and supposed 'fossil evidence'. Others claim that the source of this reputedly farcical animal can be traced to real-estate agent Larry Kingship. According to some sources, Kingship would dress up as a drop bear in order to scare off people who might be interested in purchasing the old Goldstream Hotel. Apparently he wanted to buy the land at a deflated price in order to stake a claim to the gold filled riverbed that ran through the grounds. This attempt was reputedly foiled by a team of meddling kids and their lovable dog. After their investigation the surviving member escaped her bonds and walked through the Australian desert for three days. There is no information about her current whereabouts or whether she retains evidence of Drop Bear bites.
Kingship's Drop Bear was reported to be more like a kangaroo than a koala. Its call, which sounded something like ‘oogity boogitdy’, resembled neither. A journalist questioned Kingship about the lack of his Bear's similarity to the original sketches in the mythical Captain Cook's almost equally mythical diary. (Note: Some learned sources insist that one or other of these items is not entirely mythical.) Kingship was reported to have said, "What? I was impersonating your mum." Unfortunately the interview was adjourned when shots were fired and the truth of his assertion cannot be confirmed.
Scientists, naturalists, Australians and God have tried to fake evidence for the existence of this animal in antiquity by planting fossils, rewriting history, starting rumours and inventing folk mythology. The creation of the internet put a stop to this nonsense as there are now multiple and easily accessible testimonials that drop bears do in fact exist, and that they do so in company with Hitler’s supposed ‘concentration camps’ and