Oki I'll give you 10 pts if you give me advice?deal?

10 pts!! I need help, about what I feel?

Before I dated my boyfriend, I felt loads of butteflies etc and lust for him. Now we have been dating for 2 weeks, you can say that my feelings have calmed down. I know people say you cant love after dating for 2 weeks, but before we dated he was my bestfriend, so I know I love him.

What I am womdering is, in a relationship where you love your boyfriend, are you supposed to feel lust for your boyfriend all the time? Or are you supposed to feel lust only some times?I Think my boyfriend is really good looking, got great body!! I just havent felt this lust feeling for a couple of weeks, is this normal?

Let me add that I deeply care for him, I would never hurt him. I would always risk anyhting for him, I love him that much. I care so much for him, I just want him to be happy:)

People say the lust stage only lasts 6 months? so after 6 months you dont feel lust anymore for your boyfriend/girlfriend? well how do you know you are attracted to them then?-.-

[Might sound stupid all of this but I suffer from anxiety and sometimes it takes over, and i dont know what the hell to think]

16 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    There are no rules to this. You aren't "supposed" to do or feel anything. People say that lust only lasts 6 months? That is bull. I remember going over to a friend's house and seeing her parents making out on the couch like teenagers and they had been married for 20 years. Other people barely acknowledge their significant other after 20 years.

    You probably felt "lust" for your boyfriend before you started dating because you didn't have him yet. Now that you do have him, it isn't the same excitement. Still love, attraction, and the whole nine yards, but it is a little different than wanting him from afar. Don't let people tell you how you're supposed to feel, or that there is an expiration date on feelings. Everyone and every relationship is different. Calm down, relax, and enjoy being with him.

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  • 10 years ago

    No, in most relationships you don't feel lust all the time. That does burn out mostly, but usually the feeling is still there every now and again. Not feeling unbearable lust doesn't mean the relationship is going bad. Lust isn't all that composes a relationship, and if you do truely care for him then the relationship will stay, and you'll still be attracted to him. Hope this helped, a little at least. I'm fairly good at relationship advice, so i'm told...

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  • 10 years ago

    Lust. damn... lust, by its nature shouldn't actually be an ongoing sensation.

    It should burst your banks like a flash of thunder at some moments just. When your eyes meet over the last piece of pizza, while washing the car or any other seamlessly innocent moment. I've been with my lady'o'heart for the past 10 years now, and we are all but married. we still tend to date sometimes, we are long past the till-dawn-talks phase though. Lust, well it happens, rather often. But in a long term relationship, the comfort of being near the warm heart gives you more satisfaction, really.

    Just think about it, search into yourself, hug him long and well, and listen to your heart at that moment. It will probably say something on the lines of: "Hey, this is fun too, and i'm not panting and sweating".

    If it does, be assured, panting and sweating will follow soon after wards, at the single moment you stop looking for it.

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  • 10 years ago

    From my personal experience, I've been in a few serious long-term relationships where I felt lust for long or short periods of time, and love for long or short periods of time. My current relationship (3 years going strong) is the best by far. We're both 28 and from the day we first kissed to now, we've had an unbreakable connection. I've felt lust and love for him every day for the 3 years we've been together, and I still get excited when I get an email from him at work, or when I see him calling me on my cell. I've never felt that way about anyone (and out of 3 truely serious relationships and 50 not-so-serious ones, I think that's saying a lot) and I've even got the butterfly feeling just thinking about him now. :)

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  • 10 years ago

    I think love is much better than lust to be honest. You can lust after any old person if you find them attractive but to truly love someone makes the feeling much more meaning full and the sex a lot better since you're being with someone you care about. I think you'll find that the lust will creep back up on you occasionally and you'll suddenly remember the first time you kissed or the first time you had sex etc etc. And then it will be like seeing him for the first time.

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  • 10 years ago

    I think you just got your feelings mixed up. You probably mistook deep affection and caring about your friend for love. When you love a person it doesn't end in two weeks. Also it depends on how old you are because if your young, your mind hasn't had too much experience with love. Your not used to being intimate with the opposite sex so you might feel uncomfortable. This is all normal and you shouldn't rush the relationship. Give it time and work on it, only if you are 100% positive you are ready for a relationship with your best friend. If not end it before either of you get hurt and you lose that amazing friendship yall had. Remember before you were a couple, yall were best friends.

    Source(s): E-X-P-E-R-I-E-N-C-E
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  • 10 years ago

    If he was your best friend before hand than you could possibly be mistaking your love for him as being in love rather than loving him like you would love a brother. You should think about that.

    As for the butterflies and lusting part, everyone is different when it comes to this. I dated a guy once for 4 years and the whole time, though my love for him grew stronger and stronger everyday, the way I felt about him never changed. I was giddy and so in love on day 1400 as I was on day 1. Love isn't about looks.

    So you care for him, would do anything for him, and just want him to be happy...ok, so what about you? Are you happy? If you're happy then keep going, if not then maybe you two would be better as friends.

    Source(s): Best wishes and good luck... Renn
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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    You do not have to feel lust for them all the time - if people were all lusty all the time, we'd never get anything done. ;-)

    It's perfectly normal for you not to be admiring him every second you're together. I've been with my lad for four years, and while I naturally find him attractive, I don't sit there all the time thinking about how super hot I find him. Sure, I'll look at him sometimes and think 'God damn!' and that's healthy. But there are other things to focus on - conversation, my own life, whatever is on TV, so on and so forth.

    Just because you don't feel that 'OMG HOT' feeling all the time doesn't mean you don't find him attractive. It just means you're a real person. =P

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  • 10 years ago

    okay, just calm down.

    first off, you need to consider some reasons why this might be. one could be that your innermost heart has found out by itself that the two of you just may not be meant to be. another is that maybe you have found out that you love him past lust, maybe it's deeper than that but its kind of quiet because it needs to be encouraged. explore these and which answer is the correct one.

    if you find the first answer is true, then if you're going to break up with him, don't use the phrase: "we can still be friends". that kills for any guy or girl.

    If the second answer is true, then try to spend a bit more time with him.

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  • 10 years ago

    well its like when you see your friend in ages and you get excited to see them, but when you see them everyday its not going to be exciting. its just the same with a boyfriend. when your with him the lust is present but you cant feel it becuase its always there. lust comes and goes, but remember when you not feeling lust, that means when you do, it will be amazing.

    for example, if your happy all the time, then you dont know it, but if you are sad for a day and happy the next, you know that you feel happy.

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