Okay, this sounds like you missed something. Not a big surprise. Most people miss it. And at the risk of sounding like an asshole, I actually FOUND that something.
You have the possibility of living in four states of consciousness. In fact, that's why YOU are here. Specifically. Every person is an experiment in a self-evolving being. Not ALL people. All people have a different fate than individuals.
Because you use only the two lowest states (sleep and ordinary "consciousness"), you have an idea of the world that is COMPLETELY, 100 PERCENT INCORRECT. I'm not kidding. You wouldn't BELIEVE what all this stuff actually is. And I'm not going to tell you. Because I just said you wouldn't believe it. But if you were to try to REMEMBER YOURSELF with the specific aim of WAKING UP (because make no mistake...you are even now ASLEEP...a genuine hypnotized state that makes you think you're already awake because you compare ordinary consciousness to that state you call "sleep". Ordinary consciousness is really just "waking sleep") you would begin to see glimpses of the real world.
And I mean very brief glimpses. It takes a LONG time. This isn't a question of a month or two. This is a very long study.
When I was 23, I happened to be reading a book by Alan Watts. And he advised the reader to do something which I figured I'd try it...and in an instant, my life COMPLETELY, UTTERLY, IRREVERSIBLY CHANGED.
I woke up.
I can't even describe the feelings that went through me for the next few minutes. And as I became more accustomed to realizing what was happening to me, it segued into a feeling of liberation and joy that I had never before experience.
It was later that I found out that my satori experience was really the first step in ENTERING THE WAY. The Way is a process (you can call it a process) where one moves towards penetrating the third state of consciousness. With the coming of the third state, a new function is added to our psychic life. Instead of having just the four lower centers at our disposal (intellectual center, emotional center, instinctive center and moving center) there is a new center called higher emotional center. The properties of the higher emotional center appear MAGICAL to ordinary consciousness. They reveal a world ABOVE this world. It's the same world, actually, but there's something very different about it. There is nothing life offers, not even true love, that can compare to mystical states.
I should also point out that I had read Alan Watts five years earlier and it had no effect on me. Somehow, in those five years, I became psychologically prepared to hear what he was saying. He himself had experienced satori. And his words just tipped me into a state I was ready for.
The third state of consciousness is OUR BIRTHRIGHT. We SHOULD be conscious but we are not. Nature only develops us up to a certain point and any further levels of consciousness we might attain are ENTIRELY dependent on our own conscious efforts and voluntary suffering.
So go to bookstore and find either The Fourth Way, or In Search Of The Miraculous, both by Peter Ouspensky (aka P.D. Ouspensky). What you are looking for is in there.