Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

A poem I wrote about waterfalls........?

I love waterfalls. I also love writing... this poem is the culmination of those two things. It doesn't really follow any rythmic pattern, nor is it anything special really. but its true to my feelings.

so anyway, what do you think? like it? hate it? please let me know

~ Completely at Ease ~

Wait here, take in it all.

This gently flowing down,

Crystal clear blue waterfall.

Now slowly close your eyes

As misty air finds your face,

And all your troubles rush away.

Much rapid water crashing down

Such captivating peaceful sound

Softly playing for your ears.

Warmth travels in the breeze,

as sunlight flickers through tall trees.

You slowly crack a smile

‘Cause now your completely at ease.

7 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    Wow that was really good!

    Can uee teach me how uee can write like that. Mine are funny I dont write peaceful stuff teach me please ! xx

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  • Erika
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Waterfall Poems

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  • 1 decade ago

    It's OK and good you are exploring a passion, but this line bothers me.

    "Much rapid water crashing down"

    I think it can be assumed that there is a lot of water, but it needs to be described a bit differently.

    Rapid would be another obvious assumption.

    Crashing down is a bit blunt when compared with peaceful sound

    I think you could reword that line and used cascading perhaps.

    Then there is the erratic rhyme scheme

    I guess finally I'd separate the last line to keep the stanzas at 3 lines and leave that last line on its own.

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  • 4 years ago

    Huge mounds of rock dominated the landscape, plunging into a thick carpet of green Deep, lush greens collided with majestic cyans, which slammed into thick plum purple The river gurgled and bubbled happily as it ran down the mountain in search of the lake The air sparkled off the watery grass, glinting in the sun

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  • MDB
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    "Spelunking"

    Take down

    your eyes, your face,

    all your troubles.

    Peaceful ears.

    Travel

    in the crack,

    completely at ease.

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  • 1 decade ago

    this is really good, its very peaceful.

    i like it :)

    Source(s): meee :)
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  • 1 decade ago

    i like this

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