Is my mother going through a midlife crisis?
I think she maybe, because for the past year now she has been acting strange. Like she is on the computer over 10hr. She plays Yoville on Facebook like .. a lot! My dad has also seen a change in her and he will question it and she will get all defensive and even lash out. She upgraded her phone, which she doesn't really do .. which is weird. I've seen her text before and I saw (with out her knowing, but she knew I looked at her phone before) a man texting her calling her babe. Now she didn't do anything back to alarm me. But it is really strange. My dad said he caught her texting someone when she and him were hanging and partying with friends. She tried to hide that she was texting from dad (in her drunken state), and he looked through her phone and found out she was texting (the same guy I saw). She even decided to share with him how she felt now... that she loved him but wasn't in love with him anymore. :( which isn't a good thing to hear. He would ask her what she meant by that and she would replay I dont know. (How the hell do you not know?) My mother is usually the person I can talk to, but even with out knowing this information.. I still have feelings that something is wrong and I can't talk to her. Like she is closed off to everyone. My grandma even said she was acting strange. My dad thinks once my little sister (13) is out of high school she will leave him. He loves her so much and this is killing him. They have had their issues before but nothing like this. I have told him about the text and he keeps talking to me about it, but ... I know now that I probably should have never told him about it. She use to love to play cards, now she wants nothing to do with them and would rather be online. When ever we have a family gathering at the house one time, she would go to the computer room and stay on the computer for a while. While guest were in the house, everyone would talk about her missing too. My dad has caught her in so many lies. He told her that many women would love to be with him and have the life she has. All she says is she knows. (We have a very nice life) With her pay and lack of college education, she would not be able to keep the house we have, and it seems dad would not keep it either. -_- My boyfriend of a lil over a year even has seen the changes in her. When my lil sister says she needs to get off the computer she will comply but if me or dad say something she blows a gaskit.. It seems she respects my sister more then me. I've made my mistakes too but I'm only human. My sister rarely makes mistakes.. I don't know what to think of this situation. Some times I think she is tired of this life and wants to run off some where. I'm may be 20 but that doesn't mean I don't still need her. I'm in college and living at home. I'm so stressed from work, college, and my boyfriend in the Navy. That I'm just tired of EVERYTHING, and she makes it worse. Is she having a midlife crisis? what should I do? She doesn't know I know all these things about her and my dad.
I just wish I had my old mom back... If I could just turn back time with her. :(
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavourite answer
No. It isn't. She is up to something else.
- 1 decade ago
Your Mom is not going through midlife crisis yet. The problem was she found someone to flirt with. In this situation, maybe your Dad was lacking of giving her attention and now she found that attention from other man. Scary but true. If she hides her phone from your Dad, most assuredly she is hiding a from him. Being in a computer for a long time, and you seeing her playing the games, it is not a problem. This technology is new to them and now that it is open to everyone with just a click away of playing the games, this shouldn't bother you. But if she is connecting with the man you saw on the internet, now that i wrong. Maybe that is the cause of her being angry at you and your Dad. She is afraid that you guys will catch her in that little flirting that is going on. Let your Dad talk to her sooner. They have to straightened things out before its too late. I'm sure life gets so boring for her in your home witht he same routine. I am not sure if this man has ever take her out for a dinner or lunch that she will just give him more time other than spending time with your Dad when they are home. And you, having to work, college and all that pertains to your personal life had enough to hold on your plate. Ask your Dad maybe he can help to ease of your Mom's boredome. If she threatened your Dad of leaving him someday, this is for the fact that your Mom is suffering from a monotonous routine in her marriage life. One thing you can do is get them out of the house on a trip or a boat cruise or marriage conference where they can livened up their marriage again. Just the two of them. Usually this helps to lightened out the weariness of marriage routine.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
First of all don't listen to Ride, he is only joking....... Right?
I know this must be really hard for you, it was painful to read to the end. I am also concerned that you are feeling this burden.
I am not certain of your age but since you know these things already I see no harm in maybe asking mom to go have lunch for some one on one time with her. In a place the is a bit more private. Delicately let her know you care about her and have noticed a change in her. Let her know you appreciate her as a mom and love spending time with her.
Get her away with out saying anything to her about the computer and get her to do other things. Then... yes, then tell dad to set up some time for mom. Alone time for him and her. Alone time is important in a healthy marriage. They love you but they need time alone too.
Have dad set it up, something he knows she will enjoy. Go with dad and pick out the perfect dress for her, I am sure you can help with that. Maybe dad should even reserve a nice hotel off of the beach . They need this.
And hope they reconnect... She is more than likely over whelmed with things and trying to find herself all over again. labeling it a mid life crisis? No don't that is your mom and she deserves respect. She is only frustrated I am sure. But she sounds classic like she needs to get off of fakebook for sure. And I do mean fake. Dad needs to bring her back to reality.
Hang in there kiddo. I hope the best for all of you.
- ?Lv 61 decade ago
The biggest concern for me in reading this, is that you are your dad are talking about your mom this way discussing text's she might of sent to some other guy etc. This is not something a dad discusses with his daughter.......if he is concerned about her, fine he can chat to you about it but not on this level. Sounds like he needs to get a friend he can talk to as an adult about this and not put you in the middle, I know you might think this is the relationship you guys have always had and are find with it, but it is not fine.
Talk to your mom communication is key in any and all relationships, tell her she has changed and you are concerned, mention things you use to do and no longer do together. Ask her if there is something wrong etc etc etc. She may not be forthcoming with the information and tell you everything is fine, but what will happen is that she will relaise that you have reliased that she is not herself and that in fact something is wrong, and the healing or conversation process will begin. Good Luck!
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- Me2Lv 41 decade ago
Talk to your dad, help him
as for your mom, well if she wants to be a cactus, no point in getting yourself pricked all over. leave her be, Nothing you can do can change her.
BUT you might have fun, trash the booze (not where she can dumpster dive, sorry, but mommy is an alcoholic) Lock down the computer and internet, and let your dad see the phone bill. Talk to him, tell him what is going on, and HOW IT IS AFFECTING YOU AND YOUR SISTER, ask him to kick her out. Maybe she will rehab if she knows she is going to loose you all, but until she is willing to be helped, there is nothing you can do.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Text the guy yourself , tell him you found out who he is and where he lives and that" it's going to cost him ,Big Time " to keep you from telling your dad.
Get as much cash from the guy as you can . Not only will you make a few bucks , but he will split for good.
- life coachLv 71 decade ago
You need an intervention-she is addicted to a fantasy life. For one thing, your Dad should stop internet service and make her face reality-for real!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Leave her alone because she is just having her fun! Go mind your own business!
- lil nutzLv 51 decade ago
leave her alone!