My sister died alone in Germany. Does god exists?

I am 40 years old. Since I was 5 years old I prayed to god that all my family would be healthy until the old age. But few days ago I got an email from the Iranian Embassy in Germany that my sister has passed away. I was in disbelief. My family and I suffered so much through the years. Islamic Revolution, Iran-Iraq... show more I am 40 years old. Since I was 5 years old I prayed to god that all my family would be healthy until the old age. But few days ago I got an email from the Iranian Embassy in Germany that my sister has passed away. I was in disbelief. My family and I suffered so much through the years. Islamic Revolution, Iran-Iraq war, and the isolation of me and my sister outside Iran. I moved to the U.S. and still at age 40 I never had a g/f. My sister was married for a short-time but also she was lonely most of her life. She died alone and the police found her body that was rotting for 3 weeks.
I ask myself. What did she do to deserve this? What have I done to deserve this? For more than 20 years now (since I moved to the U.S.) i have just worked non-stop (2 jobs sometimes) and been to school the whole time (have few degrees). Never had a relationship, always sad, always depressed, is this just genetics? Am I doomed like my sister?
Maybe I should just smoke cigarettes until my lung collapses.
Why are some people always happy and live long and my sister had to go at age 45. She was the kindest person I knew in my life. Always put others before her. Yet, always alone.
i don't know what else to say. I am just disappointed in god.
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