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Lv 5

Jehovah's Witnesses please? I am kinda struggling again?

Firstly can I say I am not interested in insulting comments about Jehovah's Witnesses, so please don't bother as I will not read them.

Please can someone help me. Everything lately is getting on top of me. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy and proud to be part of Jehovah's organization once again and he and my friends in our congregation, plus all YOU lovely people online :) have been a tower of strength to me when I need it.

However it seems things are ganging up on me over the last couple of weeks and it's getting really hard.

I've started to become so depressed lately about my father who died when I was 15 (he was a window cleaner and fell 20ft off his ladder, he hit his head and was in a coma in intensive care for a month before he died) it's been a long time now since he died but sometimes I just MISS HIM SO SO MUCH!!

He was a faithful and loyal Witness and the Bible's hope of the resurrection gives me so much comfort that we will see him again, but I still miss him so much, at times I just sit and cry for hours. Him and I were so close and had all the same passions, books, history, old films, rock music, no one has ever understood me like he did. I feel this massive hole in my life, knowing he's not here.

My brother is still suicidal and has started self-harming again, people he works with have noticed and he was called into his boss's office the other day and questioned about the marks on his arm, they asked him if he needed some time off or to go see a doctor, but he refuses to talk to anyone about what's in his head. He opened up to me about a month ago but now he's closed up again. My sister and my brother in law rang him last night but he ended up crying and hanging up on them. He's been sending my hyusband text messages saying " I wish it was all over" etc. He has forbidden any of us to tell my mother what's going on.

He told me there's a massive gap in his life, and I think he needs the truth so badly but won't entertain the thought. Although he still believes in what the Witnesses teach, he won't return to us because he has made friends in the world and doesn't want to give up the freedom of going out, getting drunk, celebrating birthdays and Christmas etc!

We respect this (it's his life) but he's so unhappy right now, what shall I do??

I live in fear that one day I will have a phone call saying he's sliced his wrists open or driven his motorbike into a wall.

There's other things going on but they're the main 2 ones, I'm sorry I'm just so upset right now and don't know what to do.

Thank you for any kind advice or helpful scriptures :)

Agape love to you all.

Update:

@ David Harrods

I am very happy and secure in my faith, and feel no need to seek another "god"

@ OCD Kid

Not sure what your reply is meant to mean.

21 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Best answer

    Hi sis,

    I'm so sorry to hear about what you're dealing with right now. I said a quick prayer to help me somehow know the right things to say, and I still don't know exactly what to say but I'm just going to type and hope it comes out in some kind of helpful way. All I can really think to say is that I care, and I'm so sorry for what you've been through and are going through.

    It's perfectly normal for you to be missing your dad so much, and to be grieving over his death especially when you probably feel like you could use his guidance in helping your brother, and just with life in general. That's a terrible loss and one that can't be replaced in this system of things. :(

    He does sound like a really great dad, and I'm glad you have those memories, even though they bring with them such a profound sense of loss.

    As for your brother, I really wish I couldn't relate to that but unfortunately I can, with some in my family. It's wonderful that your brother still believes in what the Witnesses teach. Hang onto that in your heart and let it give you hope. Keep praying for him, and perhaps if you think it might help, you could try writing him a letter - something he could open up and read if he gets suicidal, to remind himself that he's not alone. I think I may have suggested that before, but I'm not sure how you guys normally communicate, so it may or may not be helpful. If you do go that route, perhaps you could explain to him that you know it's his life and you respect that, but that sometimes with life's problems, the only one strong enough to help us is Jehovah, and you don't want to see him cut himself off from that source of support and comfort. Perhaps you could reference Luke 15, since he may feel like he's done too much to be welcomed back. And just let him know that you wanted him to know that you were thinking about him and that you love him.

    As hard as it is, we can't make those we care about do the right thing, but we can always continue to hope and pray for them. Your example will likely be the biggest help to him, as he sees you relying on Jehovah and not giving up even when things are tough.

    When you have so many burdens weighing upon your heart, it is good to make the elders aware. Their prayers in addition to your own are helpful (James 5:16b), and they will likely have many comforting thoughts to share. They will also be able to watch out for you and encourage you as you continue struggling against all that Satan's system is throwing your way. If they happen to run into your brother somewhere, too, that would help them understand the state he's in and help them speak consolingly to him.

    Please know you are cared about by all of your spiritual family, even those of us you've never met, and let that bring you comfort. It isn't much longer before all these terrible things we endure in this world will not even be memories, and we will only experience peace and healing. In the meantime, know that Jehovah is keeping your tears in his skin bottle (Ps. 56:8), so to speak, and will continue to help you as long as you continue looking to him for that help.

    "Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not gaze about, for I am your God. I will fortify you. I will really help you. I will really keep fast hold of you with my right hand of righteousness." - Isa. 41:10

    Big hug to you, sis. Will be keeping you in my prayers.

  • 9 years ago

    Greetings,

    I'm so sorry to hear you going through such problems. I takes me back to the time when I was just returning to the Truth. There was a time when EVERYTHING seemed to be going wrong. I look back now and I know that Satan will use such depressing events as a last resort to keep you (us) from serving Jehovah.

    I can only tell you what helped me then and what I see as vitally important in hindsight; If you continue to do things right everything will turn out the best it can. It may not be perfect, but it will be the best possible!

    Just open the Psalms and read! Every emotion of the human soul is found there. I still have the Bible I used back then (30 years ago) and when I open it and look at the highlighting I remember all my feelings and how those words served as a catharsis and kept me going.

    Do all that you can to help your brother, but keep in mind that you are not responsible for his decisions.

    Hope that helps,

    BAR

  • 9 years ago

    Magpie, I have never written you before but I have such deep admiration for you. When Satan loses his grip on people he is going to fight all the harder. I so wished I knew a 'pat answer' concerning your brother and so many need to try out bad associations before they come to the realization that there is only one really fantastic path to finding Jehovah God. Are there any in the congregation in his age group willing to visit with him? We have quite a few young men in our congregation who are out in the world (college) but also completely dedicated, if you would like I will ask one of them to write him? Only with your permission of course.

    I too lost my father way too young, he never got to hear the truth while he was alive. I cannot wait to see him in the New System and tell him about what I have learned. One thing I do know, you and your family are so very loved, do you feel the prayers for your family?

    edit: I have a poem for you, I will send it to you when I get a copy, A sister read it to us, it is about Satan's use of discouragement and is funny and true at the same time. I will probably email it to you.

  • 9 years ago

    Does your religion have anything against professional psychiatric help? If it does not, I strongly recommend it for your family, it really sounds like you guys need some outside help...

    Even if your religion does not permit psychiatric help, you should consider it, especially where your brother is concerned.

    PS: I've seen OCD Kid answer the exact same pic to many questions this morning...I don't think it means anything other than yet another computer user has found a new trick...LOL...

    I feel for you. This kind of emotional suffering is awful, the worry for your loved one, the grief for your father...I've struggled & still do from time to time with the same kinds of issues. Professionals can help guide you through this. There are many books.

    I don't want to step on your belief system, but I can't recommend these resources enough.

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  • linda
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    Remember the God you serve is a lover of justice. He is always fair when judging imperfect humans. Who better understands the suffering that your brother is going through but Jehovah. So although your brother is not serving God now ,or may not serve him before he dies, remember what is said at Acts 24:15 "there will be a resurrection of the righteous and unrighteous".

    Also don't give up on your brother, ever serving God. Where there is life there is hope. One day he may come to his senses and become a servant of God.

    I totally understand the loss of a loving father. My father died 6 years ago. The pain is devastating. But i beg you to get some help for your depression, because this is a very effective tool that satan is using to take people away from Jehovah. Years ago depression lead me to inactivity and back into the world. PLEASE don't allow depression about the death of your father be the tool that satan uses to lure you away from Jehovah. When your father wakes up in the resurrection , I am sure he wants to see you there happy and smiling. Take good care of yourself. your sister

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Sister I am so very sorry to hear of this.

    You know that you have all of your Brothers & Sisters at your Hall as well as us on here to support you. You also know that you can talk to Jehovah about any thing, get every thing out and you will feel better on that alone and ask for his comfort, guidance and Holy Spirit to help you through the hard times.

    I know how bad it feels when we loose a loved one but as we know from the Scriptures he is only sleeping in death. With hope you will get to see him once again in the Resurrection into the new system where we will all be together.

    I hope that you start to pick up soon and feel better about things, and know this Sister, I and others are here for you.

    If you ever feel the need to talk then my mail is always open so please feel free to drop me a mail.

    Source(s): One of Jehovah's Loyal Witnesses. AAA.
  • hmmmm, first off, here's the biggest internet hug i've ever given anyone

    ********HHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG***************************

    keep up with personal study, ... search "depression" on the Watchtower Lybrary CD-ROM and just start reading.

    Get out in the ministry as much as possible.

    Talk to the elders if you need to, thats what they're there for.

    The amount of time between now, and when you next get a big hug from your father will be like the snap of a finger.

    in the meantime.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgGyX7WPxuQ

    Youtube thumbnail

    2 TIm 3:14

    You, however, continue in the things that you learned and were persuaded to believe, knowing from what persons you learned them

    ...and...

    2 Tim 4:5

    You, though, keep your senses in all things, suffer evil, do [the] work of an evangelizer, fully accomplish your ministry.

    ...and...

    James 5:13

    "Is there anyone suffering evil among YOU? Let him carry on prayer..."

    ...and...

    Philipians 4:6-8

    Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving let YOUR petitions be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God that excels all thought will guard YOUR hearts and YOUR mental powers by means of Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are of serious concern, whatever things are righteous, whatever things are chaste, whatever things are lovable, whatever things are well spoken of, whatever virtue there is and whatever praiseworthy thing there is, CONTINUE CONSIDERING THESE THINGS.

    Hang in there big sister, not to long before life is nothing but bliss.

  • 9 years ago

    Hi Sweetie,

    What can I say, just the other day I was talking to Jehovah, telling him how anxious I felt (lots of issues) and I opened up the days text and read the coment. - it was for Monday 25th April (2011) go back and read it - it helped me a little. Also the comment for Tuesday 19th April... Jacob is going to meet Esau and he's AFRAID. He's walking forward, he has no choice (he can't go back, he's burnt his bridges) and he can't stay still, but he says to Jehovah "I'm afraid" He's scared for his family, he's scared for his future, he's scared for himself.

    Fear can paralyze us, make it impossible to move, impossible to enjoy life... anxiety and depression are the 21st Century diseases and we are no immune. If you suffer from depression you are vulnerable (like your brother) take all the help you can get, don't be ashamed to seek professional help - don't let yourself slip so far you can't get up again.

    But in the end, remember, there is nothing wrong with being "afraid" Elijah ran, Jonah took a boat, Job wished he were dead many times over ... even Jesus wept in the Garden, but Jehovah comforted and strengthened them all. He sent Jesus an angel. He sent Jonah a fish. He'll send you an angel or a fish, but he'll send you the means to take today, one step at a time. And tomorrow - one step at a time. You will NOT be asked to face more than you can bear. So take heart my sister, we are all in the belly of the fish - until this system ends and we find relief, breath... breath... and wait on your God.

    Now go consider your options, take practical steps where you can and remember do not despair!

    *** Psalms 142 ****

  • 9 years ago

    While I too left Jehovah and do not want to return, I realize that this man is deeply troubled and does need help.....even if I disagree with what the Witnesses teach, anything at this point is better than what he has coming down the road.

    If you firmly believe in your religion, pray for him and keep doing so, never giving up the hope that maybe he will open his heart to what you have to say.

    Let him know that you support him and want what's best for him.

    I'm not sure what else to say, but I hope the best for you and your family.

  • 9 years ago

    May I say that my heart goes out to you in these most difficult times you are experiencing. The whole association of brothers is suffering to one degree or another, so don't feel you are alone. We need to keep reminding ourselves that it will be here soon, then proceed to be with as many upbuilding people as possible. You can only do so much for your brother at this point, other than pray for him.

    The Awake for April on "Coping with the loss of a loved one" is good to consider. Your dad died in a shocking way and you were only 15 so this is going to continue to haunt you. Just as Eccl 9:11 brings out "time and unforeseen occurrences" to befall us all. Just keep praying to Jehovah for his help. Today after field service I went to lunch with some friends and one very nice guy was so cheerful and nice to us. He remarked to me how we all need to make our day happy; it is in each our hands to do so. We can be as happy as we set our mind to be. Isn't that a great statement. So there is this man waiting tables and acting like he won a million dollars. Since we know Jehovah, how much more so should we have that attitude of "counting our blessings" each and every day.

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