Feeling absolutely terrible after hooking up with somebody I barely know in college...help?
Before you begin to start thinking of all the terrible things I am, let me just say that I cannot describe to you how disgusting I feel. I've been in 7 month relationships and have never done anything past being fingered. I feel cheap, dirty, and stupid. I did things that I've never done before in my life with a guy that I knew for one night, and we were both drunk. I even had to leave once while in his residence hall to go throw up. I am so ashamed and I can't even look at myself.
Anyway,before we were both even drunk, I did genuinely like the guy. Of course you can't really know after a few hours, but I was actually interested in him. Which is part of what makes what I did so terrible- that I actually like him. The entire night he was complimenting me and saying how gorgeous I was and that he really wanted to talk to me again but I would have to text him first because he's really shy with girls( we had exchanged numbers early on that night). I was embarrassed and don't text guys first anyway, and he ended up starting text conversations with me yesterday as well as today.
So maybe there's some glimmer of hope that he doesn't think I'm a complete gutter slut? It didn't hit me until today how ashamed I am and how big of a deal that was. I feel the need to bring it up to him tomorrow. I really don't care if he doesn't genuinely like me, I just feel like I should talk about it instead of letting it all bottle up or acting like it didn't happen. I just want to clarify that I drank WAY too much, that that has never happened before and I'll never drink that much again, and just how embarrassed I am about everything.
Can you guys just give me advice on...anything really? I'm just so lost right now and have nobody to talk to. In addition, my roommate is telling people about it which makes me really uncomfortable. Do you think it's a bad idea that I text him about it tomorrow? Is there anyway I can feel better? Is this normal for somebody to go through and is it normal to feel this terrible? I honestly hate myself right now. I feel like trash.
Thank you for answering and sorry it was so long,