Tell me what your thoughts are on open marriages?

I'm a psychology grad student, and after taking a human sexuality psychology course I became ever so aware of how messed up we are in the way we handle our sexuality, particularly in the United States. That being said, coming from a pretty strict Catholic upbringing where sex in any form whether through self... show more I'm a psychology grad student, and after taking a human sexuality psychology course I became ever so aware of how messed up we are in the way we handle our sexuality, particularly in the United States. That being said, coming from a pretty strict Catholic upbringing where sex in any form whether through self pleasure or with another was strictly forbidden outside of marriage my beliefs were very conflicting as I saw the "followers" of the faith were in fact, not practicing what they preached. The kids (and even the adults) around me in my Catholic school were doing things that other kids werent doing and having sex was just one of the many vices. It made me question the status quo later in life. So here I am now wondering why we have set up these social constructs on love and how love should be given, on a basis of religious teaching. I remind myself again that Im not a radical religious Bible thumping quack that believes every word in the bible comes directly from God, and that a man's hand wrote down what may have been inspiried by god but was obviously interpreted and transformed into what that person wanted the almighty "God" to say. I mean come on, Jesus's message was love "everyone" and that means everyone, he never set up rules to dictate how that love should be professed, but his disciples sure did. It's not surprising that woman continued to be considered property throughout human history up unitl the very last 100 years (but thats another topic to be discussed later). So here we are today, fast forward to present day, are we any different? Yes we are more sexually expressive in the way we behavior in the United States but still don't talk about it, its a "hush hush" matter. We are still confined and constricted within our religious teachings that tell us what is and what is not right as far as human love is to be expressed. My theory is that during the dark ages when we killed one another for what we wanted, marriage was a way for the religious leaders (lets not mention our corrupt and crazy many of the popes were in history) to keep the sex crazed human from going around and doing every guy or gal on the block whenever and however they wanted. Wrapped up in a the guise of religious teaching, with a stamp of God on it to quell the raving sex crazed they were told that Gods wrath would come to smite them if they did not conform. Marriage became a social construct on the guise of religious propaganda. Now that we are far more advanced and more civil in our behavior, I might add, we have come to a point where we should question religious place in love relationships. Religion, who are you to tell me who I can and cannot love? Sure tell me not to harm others, ask that I lead a good life, but get the heck out of my relationships. As long as Im not hurting anyone then leave me alone. Now, how does this all tie into my question? Well, I am trying to set a precedence for why I'm asking it. I think marriage serves a good purpose, you choose a companion, you raise kids together, and it is a financially sound investment for that purpose. However, to limit marriages to loving only one person, seems to not have much grounds anymore. Haven't we advanced enough as a species to be able to maintain other relationships? Whether we would like to admit it or not, we are not built for monogahmy, and we are still driven by our animal instincts very much so and the more we fight it the more we see people rebel against it. So I think for an open marriage to be successfull, honestly is key and being safe is a must. I see my parents and my friends parents who have been divorced countless times, struggle with this very idea that this controlled strict environment seems to be everything they dont want in the end. I dont think I would be detest to my husband having a girlfriend on the side. If we got sick of each other I'd send him to her and then he might realize how much he missed me in the end. No jealousy as I would have my own recourse as well. So now that I've stated a claim for open marriages, what are everyone else's thoughts on the topic? Are we capable of having them? Is our society due for another sexual revolution, where we no longer deny the innate natural sexual drives that persist through everything we eat, breath, see and touch? Consider some European countries where open marraige is common, and take a look at their statistics as far as STD rates, teen pregnancy rates, and rate of first sexual experience among their young... Like Sweden.
Update: @ common sense. I dont think I'm confusing sex with love. I think I'm questioning the boundaries that society places upon us, that drills into us the minute we are born. I dont compare the dark ages to the united states I only bring that up as an example of how we "used to be" The United States... show more @ common sense. I dont think I'm confusing sex with love. I think I'm questioning the boundaries that society places upon us, that drills into us the minute we are born. I dont compare the dark ages to the united states I only bring that up as an example of how we "used to be" The United States is very unique in that it comprises cultures from every part of the world, and we are very accepting of everyone. Most other societies are monoethnic, and very predjudice of anything that is different. I applaud and love my country, although I think we still have a ways to go in setting the example of sexual acceptance.

@ the prophet: if you had read my entire description I said that religion can set precedence and example for what is wrong like hurting others aka murdering or stealing. Set rules and boundaries for those things, but stay the heck out of my love relationships as long as I'm not hurting or harming other people let me love whoever and whatever i want as
Update 2: @the prophet: oh by the way I am a human factors engineer / cognitive psychology grad. My education will have applications that far exceed what I am capable of doing. I just had the pleasure of being able to take an elective, like human sexuality @everyone: Although some of you disagree with me, thats good! I... show more @the prophet: oh by the way I am a human factors engineer / cognitive psychology grad. My education will have applications that far exceed what I am capable of doing. I just had the pleasure of being able to take an elective, like human sexuality

@everyone: Although some of you disagree with me, thats good! I like that. Its a healthy discussion, exercise your freedom of speech. This is America baby! Cheers!
Update 3: @the prophet: i meant to say whoever and whatever I want as long as they are consenting (human) adults...
Update 4: @ commons sense: correction to my original statement to you, you were right, I did compare sex with love, but I think anything is possible. So loving another, having sex with another, as long as its controlled and within the boundaries of what is acceptable between two people who love each other and have decided... show more @ commons sense: correction to my original statement to you, you were right, I did compare sex with love, but I think anything is possible. So loving another, having sex with another, as long as its controlled and within the boundaries of what is acceptable between two people who love each other and have decided that an open marriages is what they want. How about this theory, say that I am okay with my husband having a gf on the side or if he messes up and has a one night stand its okay as long as he is honest and up front about it? Is the temptation no longer there to rebel and press the envelope? In theory a middle ground would need to be achieved. Our policitcians struggle themselves with finding a middle political ground, and that seems to be how society works, we're either black or white (metaphorically speaking duh! this isnt a race issue! lol), all or nothing, and yet I think many of us are in the middle but feel like we cant be accepted that way. How sad.
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