A guy in an open marriage?
At the hotel we talked, I told him I'm a virgin at 20, we made out, but he respected my boundaries and I went home in the morning. We contacted each other, he told me he is going to be in my town regularly and we agreed to meet again.
I got to know him more through virtual interaction. We met again, with him I felt incredibly comfortable, at ease, something I never experienced with a guy. He did ask me about sex related topics, I answered him openly and towards the night I accepted his invitation to go back to the hotel and I lost my virginity to him. The attraction was very powerful, it felt right. He was great, painful for a bit, really pleasant overall.
To be fair, some things I found out did indicate he is lying, but I really didn't want to know. I just went with the moment. The next day we met and went out again. I confronted him about one of the things that didn't seem right if he was single as he said. Right away he confessed. Told me he has a wife, she was sexually abused as a child, so they are in an one-way open marriage so he can be satisfied sexually, she wants to know nothing about it. They have two young children (he is 25). Of course, apologised, told me he feels so guilty for lying to me, taking my virginity, etc.
I really didn't feel used. Inside I knew there is something and went through with it realising that. I made my choice. I told him we can meet as long as I am single, no commitment whatsoever. I really want him, he's good in bed and I feel great around him. I don't believe I'm in love, but I really like him.
We continued to talk through the time he was away, sometimes through all the night. He made it clear he doesn't plan on leaving his wife now or in the future. No promises of love, but he extremely likes me and wants to show me a great time in the bed. Tomorrow he is coming again, one day earlier just for me, we agreed on the details of our meeting.
But I still doubt if it is worth it. I really want him, but I am aware I can fall in love and get hurt badly. The possibility he would be with me is extremely low. Anything can happen, but I am not counting on it. I try to view it as temporary fun until I meet someone I could have a future with. And seeing him still feels right. I am so confused. Maybe your take on this and thoughts could help me decide.