How to stop my screamer?

My son is nearly 3 and is quite a handful. I'm surprised I haven't signed myself into the looney bin yet. Anyway whenever things don't go his way he has the highest pitched scream and it drives me bonkers. Anything from hearing no to his sister tormenting him to him being frustrated because he can't do something sets him off. And it's not just at home it's in public aswell and quite embarrassing. I dread to think what our new neighbours think.

So does anyone else have this problem? Will the screaming stop soon and if not how do I fix it?

I try reasoning with him and even putting him in time out but he will just sit/stand and scream constantly.

13 Answers

  • JJ
    Lv 5
    5 years ago

    At that age he probably doesn't really even know what he's doing. You mentioned his sister tormenting him. This could be contributing to his stress. Maybe have a talk with your daughter. Lots of kids go through this stage. Maybe use a sticker chart. Kids love it. Say if he's good and collects enough stickers for that week he can have a small treat that he wants so bad. He needs to learn that bad behaviour doesn't get him anything, but good behaviour will. Eventually he'll be more interested in being good. :)

  • 5 years ago

    Clap your hand over his mouth and give him the death stare. Tell him if he screams again he is losing privileges like his favorite toy or screen time or whatever he most enjoys. At this point, it has escalated from him doing it to get your attention and express his dislike of something to doing it because he knows he will get away with it. You may need to scare him into submission at this point.

    Ordinarily, I would say start early and eliminate screaming by encouraging word use and punishing with timeout sooner. But obviously that's no longer an option. You need the big guns now because it has deteriorated so far.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    5 years ago

    you put your hand over his mouth and tell him this is not the way to get what he wants . You are the parent put a stop to it now or you have already lost the battle. Do not allow another child to ever torment a younger one. She needs consequences for her behavior. you do not stand across the room and say no you get down to his level and tell him why you have said no. A good swat on the behind never hurt either don't be afraid to discipline or you will always be on your way to the looney bin.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    One of the little boys I babysit for was doing this same thing around 2.5, 3 years old and his parents just ignored him when he would scream and act like he wasn't doing it. He eventually stopped doing it because it wasn't getting him anywhere.

    If it's because he is told "No" or because he can’t do something then definitely ignore him, if it’s because his sister is tormenting him then I would comfort him but only if he stops screaming. And you need to get his sister to leave him alone, as she shouldn’t be tormenting him and making him scream.

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  • 5 years ago

    You have the ignore him. You can't r a sin with a 3 year old. First comes the terrible 2 stage then the aweful 3 stage.

    Worst thing to do is give tne child what he wants. He will grow out of it. When he screams out in public, just take him to the car. Most parents have gone through this stage . He will grow out of it. Just stay strong and stay patient.

    You need to get his sister to stop,tormenting him. If he hears no And screams ignore him. Unless he is going to hurt himself.

  • Sara
    Lv 7
    5 years ago

    Obviously reasoning with a 3 year old is not working. PARENT your child. He screams, then he has to deal with the consequences of your choosing (smack in the mouth, timeout in dark room away from everyone else, no toys, etc). He is 3, time for him to learn that behavior wont be tolerated.

  • 5 years ago

    Distract him when this happens. While you're doing your chores.....

    have him help and then give him a couple of simple chores to do

    of his own; pulling the blankets up on his bed, placing his dirty

    clothes in the proper place and picking his toys up.

    When you're preparing meals.....have him help - kids LOVE to

    help with meals. Do everything you can to make him feel like

    'part' of the family unit instead of ignoring him.

  • PR
    Lv 7
    5 years ago

    Help him learn to verbalize, better. Ask, "Stop screaming and tell me what is wrong? Did Ashley hurt you? Oh, she did? I will talk to her. You sit down while I talk to her."

    Or, simply stoop down to his level and ask what is wrong? If he is still screaming, ask again in a calm tone, that will help him to calm down.

    Often, children scream when they don't know quite how to handle things, or when they think they are being taken advantage of by another child, and they think no one is going to help them.

    You will need to help your son learn what to do if:

    -His sister is doing something he does not like. The plan might be to ask her to stop. If she does not stop, then come to me and I will help. Then, you MUST come to help him, or he will continue to scream.

    -He can't build his blocks the way he wants to: You will help him to learn better how to do this.

    -Someone calls him names: Talk to him and tell him what they say is not important. He is a nice boy and a cute boy and you love him, a lot. "Let's just walk away and never mind this."

    -He hurt himself: Go to Mom and ask for help. If he is screaming about this, then say: "Did you hurt your finger? Oh, look at that finger! We will need to get a band-aid for your finger. Oh, look - all better! (Kiss the finger, hug). Now, let's go and play!

    Take time for your son, and help him learn to deal with his environment. Take time to talk to him, and help him express himself. Help him learn what will get attention (speaking to you), and what will not.

    We have a child in our neighborhood who was a screamer. The parents simply allowed him to do this, and it just continued. He also kept talking in a high pitch, which was very annoying.

    Help your son, so he realizes this won't get what he wants or needs, but don't be mean, simply give him better tools. Or, distract him until he forgets what he was screaming about.

  • D
    Lv 7
    5 years ago

    Screaming is an escalated form of the other dreaded pre-schooler tool - whining. A frustrated kid might scream instead of whining, but the underlying stuff is often the same. Here is a great article on stopping whining (which mostly translates to screaming as well):

    Don't hit your child. Don't ignore your child. Don't punish your child for feeling frustrated or powerless. No, you don't reward him for screaming - he can't get what he wants just so you can get the screaming to stop. But if you connect with him and stay connected, it will help tremendously to decrease his need to scream, and you can react with empathy and humor to try to bring about a calmer way of communicating. Kids learn what sort of hot buttons we have, and how they can get a reaction out of us. He has learned that screaming is very effective. He needs help to find better ways to get what he wants, and better ways of communicating his needs. You can't reason it through, because his screaming isn't coming from reason - it is coming from emotion that he doesn't know what to do with. You can build emotional intelligence in him by acknowledging those feelings, but showing him better ways to handle it.

  • 5 years ago

    get a wooden spoon out

    it worked on me and every other kid i know

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