This isnt a question but please read.?

my grandparents came over to my cousins house yesterday. they came from asia and are just visiting us. my cousins are 2 and 4 years old. i am a 16 year old girl. my grandparents are not the kindest people but today i saw how much of an understatement that was. as soon as my aunt and uncle left for the store, my... show more my grandparents came over to my cousins house yesterday. they came from asia and are just visiting us. my cousins are 2 and 4 years old. i am a 16 year old girl. my grandparents are not the kindest people but today i saw how much of an understatement that was. as soon as my aunt and uncle left for the store, my grandparents started talking about how disappointed they were in all of us. they spoke in japanese and my cousins obviously cant really understand just yet but i can. and i heard so many awful things about all my family members until they started talking about my cousins and how ugly and spoiled they are. i have been through mental illnesses because of my grandparents and i couldnt bare to hear them now direct their hate on my two tiny cousins. so i would talk back to them and get angry. finally my grandmother turned to me and told me how i am such a ******* ugly stupid disappointment. And how i should have died instead of my sister. And that i should shut up about things i dont understand. my older sister passed away when i was only three. This is the first time in a while where i feel so lost in the dark. this was earlier today. today marks the first day ive ever self harmed. I am so broken. My only hope is that my cousins dont turn into the sad thing that i am today.

if you want to hate on me or call me troll, go ahead, ive heard so many insults that they barely have meaning anymore. i promise its true but believe as you please...
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