I am so sorry about the loss of a great friend. Loosing the first & only dog is a real hard one. Plus all the other crap going on in the household. Your motions are REALLY on edge & due to this vulnerable everything hits you a bit harder. You are over whelmed with emotions, ups & downs & no one to turn to.
You & I & every one else all know this feeling. This too shall pass. I think, you need to have some kind of animal in your life, not to replace what you had, but to move on with a new experience, a new attachment to another living creature. You know how strong the bond is & was. You need the comfort & security that only comes from another animals love.
I can't begin to tell you how many dogs I have had from as far back as I can remember. I have rescued large & extra large dogs for about 50 yrs. Most dogs are small to medium & the rescues just don't have space for these guys, I have up to 12 at one time, giving each & every one its last 'forever home'.
Try not to hang on to the past, you eventually will need to let move on. If you are constantly looking back, you could fall on your face today.