Who really benefits from such an event? I think the party planners, dress makers, hair salons, caterers and other party suppliers benefit more than the person in question. Be aware, and I know I risk the possibility of being reported for a "bad answer" here, but most of the girls who had a "quinceanera", oh dear, used it as justification to take on "grownup" activities such as drinking alcohol and, uhm, permission to have, uhm, sex......... with anyone...........>>>>>>>> If this is truly not your daughter's scene, then consider a different sort of birthday party with her more involved in the planning. YOUR planning is fair, don't get me wrong, but in the end, only the people who get paid money get the real benefit of the event in the end. I am just saying, and this is from observation over the years of people in my neighborhood and fellow college students in both community college and university. If the parents truly knew half the things their kids did when the parents were not around, especially in high school and college, ............................... I seriously would think twice before pushing her into this. Again, I am just saying as an onlooker and observer into college student's actual behaviors when their parents WERE around and how different they behaved so long as their parents were NOT around, and that included what they considered their parent's permission to behave that way. This could be a wedge that is driven deeper between you, and I can tell you that continually driving that wedge in the terms of "whether she wants it or not" is not at all good. My mom is dying of old age right now, and she is still driving that wedge between us, continually killing our relationship by justifying herself in choosing to backstab me in favor of my evil sister, "her" church versus "My" church, "her" politics versus "My" politics, rather than ever being willing to meet me halfway. It is at a point where I am now cheering and jumping up and down for joy that I am not on her will!! Is THAT what you want --- a terrible relationship with your own child?? I say this --- take a step down, take a step back, and ask her how to meet her half way. Really. Ask her outright what is a way to compromise, and be willing to be okay with it. Right now, at this age, she is making her future choices about being a grownup, and having you backstab her with what she does not want, having you drive a wedge between you and her at this point, it makes a difference in your relationship down the road. My younger sister has an equal wedge between her and our mother for the same reasons, because our mother stubbornly refused to meet us halfway at certain and important times in our lives. To this day we both celebrate that we both are not on our mother's will, and our mother is furious about it, BUT she was the one who drove that wedge between us and her int he first place! In the future you will not be first in line to be told if she is getting married, or be first in line when it comes time to announce her pregnancy, or getting a new job, or moving --- you will be hearing much of your information about her second-hand because to be forthright, this current act will cut her trust in you and I am NOT making this up! My mom is now last to know about events in my life or she hears second-hand from another sibling because she drove that wedge harder and harder by each stubborn decision. At the risk of being reported for a "bad answer" or something you did not want to hear, I say it outright. Think twice and be willing to go halfway. Making a bridge instead of a wedge makes all the difference in the future. I know. I still live it to this day.