Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsEngagements & Weddings · 1 year ago

My dad’s given me a plus one to his wedding, my mum’s saying that I have to take her, do I have to?

My invitation for my dad’s wedding arrived during the week. In the invite he added a note saying I could bring my best friend so I had someone my own age there and wasn’t bored throughout the whole thing. He’d already spoken to her parents who said it was ok if I wanted to ask her. My mum has since found the invite and has said that I have to take her because there should be someone there to look after me and take me home. I’m 15, I can look after my self at a wedding there’s all of my dad’s family. I’d kept it hidden in my room because she’s still mad he’s moving on even though it’s been 3 years since the divorce. My parents live 100’s of miles apart and my dad was going to pay for train tickets for me and my friend to come to the wedding and then we were going to stay and his house with my step mum and my siblings - two are her’s from a previous relationship, one is their daughter together. Dad’s going to be livid if I bring mum. I don’t want to bring mum as she’s horrible to my step mum, last time she purposefully triggered my step mum’s OCD. Mum seems to think she has a right to attend.

Do I have to take my mum? How can I stop her from coming to the wedding?

Update:

I’m a girl, my best friend is a girl. My dad’s going to pay for us to travel on the train and we’d stay at his in my room. On the day of the wedding one of my uncles - He’s actually one of my dad’s closest friends - is taking us. Dad thinks I’d be bored if there’s no one else my own age there, and that I might end up playing babysitter if I’m on my own. He just wants me to be able to enjoy it.

34 Answers

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  • 1 year ago

    You do not have to take your mother. Your father specified why he was giving you a plus one and who he wanted you to bring. that means that the best friend that he specified is the person he is inviting as he did not leave it up to you who to bring. Mom just wants to go to cause trouble. she knows that her very presence is enough to mess things up for the couple. do not take her You will be sorry and dad did not invite her Let that be your guide

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  • 1 year ago

    He didn't invite her, than he doesn't want her there.

    It's not your job or responability to bring her, be like sorry Mom, dad didnt invite you so I'm sorry but I can't take you as he would be pissed.

    Take your best friend, less drama, more fun, girl your own age, no babysitting. #WIN

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  • GEEGEE
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    No you don't. I think if he wanted her at the wedding he would have invited her, which he did not. Plus, you and he discussed bringing your friend, not Mom. I'd be inclined to ask him to tell Mom to back the heck off.

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  • GB
    Lv 5
    1 year ago

    Phone or email your Dad, to tell him what your mum is saying. Tell him it might mean you won't be allowed to attend, or you would feel so awkward you will feel compelled not to. If she does not concede to his wishes, tell her if she ever marries again, you won't be at her wedding, nor will you want her at yours.

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  • 1 year ago

    He'll no you don't your mom is crazy for wanting to go.

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  • Me
    Lv 6
    1 year ago

    Lets break this up a bit....

    - Do not bring your mom. No good will come of that

    - Does your mom have full custody, if so unfortunately what she says may be what you have to do

    - Is it possible to fly there instead of taking the train? Shorter trip.

    - can your dad talk to your mom? Is their relationship civil enough?

    - I am going to assume that you are in the US and will be taking Amtrak. They allow 15 year olds to travel alone but there are restrictions. https://www.amtrak.com/unaccompanied-minors-policy

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  • 1 year ago

    Your mum is trying to manipulate you in order to gain access to your father's wedding plans. Her motives are self serving and have nothing to do with chaperoning you. You are right, there will be plenty of people there who can watch over you...not that you even need watching over as you are a teenager, not a toddler. IF your mother was welcomed to attend her ex-husbands wedding, then she would have her own invitation.

    Tell your mother that your father has made provisions for you to have a traveling companion along with someone your age to spend time with at his house and during the wedding festivities. It is crazy for your mother to inject herself into her ex-husband's wedding plans and to use you to do so.

    Whatever happens, DO NOT stray from the plans you and your father made. You are in the right here and how dare your mother try to manipulate and twist things in an attempt to bulldoze her way into her ex-husband's wedding plans. Shame on her.

    EDIT: Not to scare you, but young girls traveling alone are targets for criminal activity. So, you be sure to NOT speak to strangers, even friendly ones. Always be aware of your surroundings and give no information to anyone about what you are doing and where you are going. Stay close to other adults so you are not isolated, giving bad people access to you. Keep in cell phone contact with an adult who knows where you are at all times while you are traveling. This is for your own safety.

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Your mother should know better than to try to force her way in to this wedding. She should not be putting her daughter in the middle of this. Tell your dad now. Go with your friend and have a wonderful time.

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  • It’s your choice who you being with you to the wedding. Based on what you have described, it would be more sensible for your to go with your friend.

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    • GB
      Lv 5
      1 year agoReport

      They will not be unchaperoned. A man who her Dad trusts is taking the girls there.

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  • 1 year ago

    Of course your dad will be livid if you take your mum. If he wanted her there, and if it was appropriate, he'd have asked her. Let your dad know she's making things difficult and ask him to call her and assure her he'll take care of your safety arrangements. (This is just an excuse on the part of your mum anyway. She just wants to be there in a strange masochistic kind of way because she was once close to him). As well as telling your dad about this, just say to your mum that you know dad wouldn't welcome her there and that you've already asked a friend of your own age. Then let the grown-ups slug it out.

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