Spoiled in my marriage?
My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married for 2. For our anniversary, all he wanted to do was go to the park with some lunch. Its sweet and all but I expected that and a NICE gift. I mean I do everything for the man, he hardly lifts a finger at home and I hardly feel any appreciation. I expect during the holidays and anniversaries to be spoiled a little. Is that wrong? He can afford it but he says I shouldn't expect it. Then I shoot back with well you shouldn't expect me to wash, cook, clean, and pick up after you. Am I spoiled? Is it wrong to want to be spoiled on holidays?
- 1 year ago
If you're sure he can afford grand things (because you pay the bills and understand the household finances intimately) use some of that extra cash to hire some household help so you're not doing all the washing, cooking, cleaning, et al. You chose to marry a guy who doesn't prioritize sentimental milestones. I doubt this is something he embraced all through your dating life and just suddenly lost interest in. So do something nice for yourself and know that next year you can expect very little from him. P.S. My husband couldn't even tell you the dates of our anniversary, my birthday, either of our kids' birthdays or the day we got our dog. These things just aren't important to him and if they were important to me I wouldn't have married him.
- Homer BufflekillLv 41 year ago
Do you work outside the home? Do you mow the grass, clean out the gutters, maintain the car, paint the house, repair the leaky roof, rake leaves or anything other than what you listed? When you were reading that list, were you thinking "Well that's what men are supposed to do." ? We all have our 'chores", and I don't think you're asking for anything out of the ordinary, but there are some people that don't know how to say thanks or show much affection, you may just have to accept that?
- PatriciaLv 71 year ago
Expectations are a set up for a huge let-down. That's what my mother always told me, and she was correct.
If you'd like something special for an anniversary or holiday, then you probably need to ask in advance. If you want to go to a nice restaurant for example, make reservations in advance, tell your husband you've made them and that this is what you want to do for your anniversary or whatever.
That's what i've always done. And for my birthday or other holidays, i just wrote a list of things i was interested in receiving, and gave them to my husband a few weeks in advance. Men generally have NO CLUE what to get for a woman, anyway. I do have one friend who has a romantic husband.... and a couple other girls i know who have husbands who really try.
Most ? Not so much.
- sheloves_dabluesLv 71 year ago
An anniversary is NOT a holiday.
I want to know what kind of "NICE" gift you gave him.
An anniversary is the celebration of an other year of marriage. If you expect material goods (gifts) for keeping the house, you are married for the wrong focking reasoin.
You aren't spoiled, bu you ARE entitled and self-centered.
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- Oh Boy!Lv 51 year ago
You are NOT spoiled.
- UniverseoneLv 71 year ago
You are right! He need to be treated cold to learn what to do.
He should bring very expensive gift of you like.
- AnaLv 61 year ago
No, I guess you have a point, you both have a point
- DickLv 71 year ago
You didn't get a big enough and expensive enough anniversary gift? And it's "spoiled" your marriage? Your selfish and self centered attitude spoiled it a long time before this.
- NevermindLv 41 year ago
No you are not spoiled You expect gifts, cards for all holidays and such...that's just you.
He may not feel it to be important to him, but it is for you, make sure he hears your feelings loud and clear.
He needs to learn that's part of loving and showing appreciation for his spouse.
- 1 year ago
Then he better not expect sex.