One of my students told me he wants to be a girl. Should I tell his parents?

I am a 5th-grade classroom teacher. Last week Friday, one of my students asked to have a private chat with me, which I agreed to do. He confided in me before our lunch dismissal, candidly revealing to me that "he doesn't like his body." I questioned what he meant by that statement, to which he replied, "I want to be a girl." I was astonished because I'd never heard a student tell me that in my two years of teaching, nor was I expecting this. The student noticed it caught me off guard for a minute, so I guess he was frightened, and consequently urged me, "Please don't tell my parents." I reassured him that I wouldn't tell them. I then encouraged him to talk to his parents about it, but that if he didn't feel comfortable he could talk to me about it again. He proceeded to go to lunch after that. Since then, I've been pondering over what to do about this student's confession. As his teacher, am I supposed to do anything?

There are minimal resources for LGBT students in my school district because it's located in a deeply conservative area. I am also not LGBT-identifying and have little to no experience with the community. Can someone help me? Thanks!

Update:

I am definitely not a troll. If you think I am, then that is your guilty conscience speaking. I'll just ask this question on Quora or Reddit if I can't get a real answer from anyone here.

Update 2:

Thanks, Proud Millennial Snowflake! To answer your question: Yes, my school actually has a part-time School Psychologist who floats to different schools across the school district. I'll start there! Thanks!

18 Answers

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  • 1 year ago

    It's not your job to be a tooter to a student outside your job description. You could make things even worse for the student. The student needs a psychologist to talk to and your job is to try to introduce that student to that person and nothing more.

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  • Hermes
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    OK - you have a DUTY as a teacher to say NOTHING to ANYONE. This is not a subject of mandatory reporting, nor should it be. So shut you mouth, stop posting about it on boards, and say nothing, to anyone. PERIOD. The fact that you even ask is not acceptable. PERIOD.

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  • 1 year ago

    No. The child told you this in confidence.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    direct her to a school counselor but otherwise you can keep giving her guidance. As someone going through this it helps to have someone there. But do not tell her parents it is the worst thing in the world to out someone before they are ready. But u must me doing something right if the student came to u.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    You would be wise to advise him to see the school counsellor (that is not for you to do) and suggest he talks with his parents but if you intervene AT ALL and tell anyone you will regret it as he will never, ever confide in you again.

    • Davide1 year agoReport

      Most states have laws forbidding a teacher from telling parents about matters of confidentiality -- particularly in this case as the child may be at risk from parental harm and even suicide. An administrator and/or counselor must be involved ASAP. Not knowing this shows it's a troll question.

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  • 1 year ago

    If you want to drastically increase this kids odds of suicide, go ahead. Doesn't your school have a counselor, better equipped to help an "anonymous" student, than you?

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  • Sky
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    If you were legitimate and this story was true you wouldn't be so chickenshit as to hide behind bluefaced anonymity. But assuming your story is true, no, it is not your place to tell the parents. At most you could refer him to the school guidance counselor. When a student comes to you with something so deeply personal, that is because he or she can't go to the parents with it, whether due to them being abusive or extremely strict or religiously fundamentalist or whatever. When a student confides in you with something like that, it means he/she can't confide in the people he/she should be able to trust but can't.

    • Davide1 year agoReport

      Except for your first sentence, your answer is reasonable. While an anonymous name on YA! may be less creative than some others, it is certainly not as misleading. I assume all names here are fakes. maybe even mine or yours. Get over it.

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  • PAMELA
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    You keep his confidence, it is up to him who he tells, if you tell anyone else you will betray his trust and nobody will tell you anything ever again.

    • Davide1 year agoReport

      Most states have laws forbidding a teacher from telling parents about matters of confidentiality -- particularly in this case as the child may be at risk from parental harm and even suicide. An administrator and/or counselor must be involved ASAP. Not knowing this shows it's a troll question.

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  • 1 year ago

    First, I'm going to think this is ruse for a teacher to post this on Yahoo Answers, with all the other professional avenues available to you. Yeah that's what it is.

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  • 1 year ago

    You are a great teacher to be honest. If the student feels that s/he doesn't feel comfortable in their own body, a psychologist is the best thing, same for a social worker. There is nothing wrong with being non-binary, in fact, it's a human right.

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    • Alain1 year agoReport

      The Questioner has to be a troll. Every REAL teacher knows a principal &/or counselor has to be involved ASAP by law. Telling parents can be very dangerous and is illegal for a teacher to do.

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