How does this sound for my poem so far?
Trying to put the words together,
But I’m feeling more frustrated than ever.
Laying here letting my mind wander,
As my feelings for you grow fonder.
Every inch and every mile,
Forever captivated by the thought of your smile.
- JasmineLv 42 months ago
Well I think it sounds cute myself
- sparrowLv 75 months ago
You should mention, "separated by inches and miles" or something like that.
You shouldn't mention that you "frustrated", because it makes you sound hostile.
- bluebellbkkLv 75 months ago
LYING here. LYING.
You can 'lay' something down, and when you've done that, the thing will be LYING where you put it.
- TinaLv 75 months ago
You're still saying 'laying here' - it should be 'lying'.
And every inch and every mile of what?
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- 5 months ago
idk;;;; I like it I can observe what your saying even if professional poetic people '' know more than me .. screw them think for your self
- Anonymous5 months ago
Not very good, the first two lines don’t scan, and rhyming couplets always sound childish.