Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 5 months ago

How does this sound for my poem so far?

Trying to put the words together,

But I’m feeling more frustrated than ever.

Laying here letting my mind wander,

As my feelings for you grow fonder.

Every inch and every mile,

Forever captivated by the thought of your smile.

6 Answers

  • 2 months ago

    Well I think it sounds cute myself

  • 5 months ago

    You should mention, "separated by inches and miles" or something like that.

    You shouldn't mention that you "frustrated", because it makes you sound hostile.

  • 5 months ago

    LYING here. LYING.

    You can 'lay' something down, and when you've done that, the thing will be LYING where you put it.

  • Tina
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    You're still saying 'laying here' - it should be 'lying'.

    And every inch and every mile of what?

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  • 5 months ago

    idk;;;; I like it I can observe what your saying even if professional poetic people '' know more than me .. screw them think for your self

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    Not very good, the first two lines don’t scan, and rhyming couplets always sound childish.

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