Choosing the right partner?

I am a recently married woman and am embarrassed to say I had an affair with a man for a year and a half. During this time, I was so in love with this other man and took steps to leave my marriage to be with him. I was scared to fully commit, and I backed out last minute. The man then reached out to my husband and... show more I am a recently married woman and am embarrassed to say I had an affair with a man for a year and a half. During this time, I was so in love with this other man and took steps to leave my marriage to be with him. I was scared to fully commit, and I backed out last minute. The man then reached out to my husband and explained what happened. My husband left for a month but came back and wants to work on this, and says he has forgiven me.

The problem now is that all I do is think about this other man. I am happy with my husband but do feel like I’m settling, or at least would be happier with this other man. I feel it in my heart that I love this other man more. Our intimacy is nothing like it was with this other guy and I think about him even while I’m with my husband.

The reason I didn’t leave before is because I’ve been with my husband for 10 years (married 8 months) and we have a house and a dog (no children). Our families and friends are all intertwined. I don’t want to upset everyone around me and feel like I have to start fresh. The problem is I know I love this other man more and I don’t know if I live the rest of my life with my husband or end it and move on. I’m 25 years old. I am talking with this other guy again behind my husbands back and have such strong feelings.
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