If it's very damaged, it needs a trim.
But to soften my otherwise coarse (ish) hair. I, after showering with shampoo and conditioner, lather on some argan oil-based product when I'm out and tie up my hair and leave it as is for the night. Usually a tight-ish bun with the excess wrapped around it, so it dries slowly.
Next day/+6 hours later, you end up with (seriously) curly hair, which isn't always what you want but it is also incredibly soft. And if it's a decent product you won't have greasy hair or anything.
So at that point, you can gently brush out the curls or embrace them and do with them what you will, either way your hair is nice and soft for the day.