When you have a co-sleeping newborn baby and very little partner intimacy, how do you control sexual urges?

I feel like this is a painful question where even asking the question throws me to utter shame.

I love my spouse, I love my baby, I will not ever do anything without my spouse, but when 100 percent of the home partnership becomes:

Take your child so I can nap, go get diapers,

You were supposed to be home 30 minutes ago, where’s Jonathan’s vitamin, no can’t you see he’s not buckled in tight enough!

“Where’s my coffee? You were supposed to clean up my car last night. I have to do everything men are useless”

No we can’t do a date night, with what money your good looks?

Why is our account balance so low? No there’s no time for you to work a second job I need your help at night getting the kids ready for bed ....

And then with very little intimacy, you find yourself flashing back to simpler days, and you find your sex drive is out of wack and .... it’s just sad . I know I’m guilty for even posting this

4 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    First off, you take the advice of pediatricians and don't have your baby in bed with you. That's insanely dangerous and it needs to be in a basinet beside your bed (where it won't even know if you're managing to sneak in some sex or not). Secondly, anyone who becomes a parent without knowing that the entire first year of a child's life is hell didn't do their research. Of course you're both sleep deprived and nervous wrecks over every little thing. Missing as much sleep as a typical newborn parent does just makes people difficult to live with. This is why it's important to tag team the sleeping so neither partner goes insane. Yes, this doesn't leave much time for sex. But one assumes you've got hands and could manage your urges in the privacy of the bathroom until your life starts to settle down a bit. For many couples it's the desire to return to regular relations that spurs them to get the baby into his own crib in his own room as soon as possible. This too will pass...also, if you decide to have a second child it'll be much easier. You'll still be sleep deprived but you'll know what to expect and you'll have learned not to freak out over every little thing. Be strong for your family. You can do this.

  • 6 months ago

    Why would someone co-sleep with a newborn unless they are waiting for the day they accidentally smother the kid to death. I'll never understand this

    • Eric6 months agoReport

      You’ll understand when you have one. We thought the same question when we were empty nesters, trust me on this. What sleep deprivation can do

  • 6 months ago

    Isn't that what your hand is for?

    Okay, seriously, sounds like she's in full on Mommy mode. Sounds like you might need to step up your Awesome Husband game. Don't come home late, pitch in wherever you see a gap and MIND THE GAP, lol, and hey, have you told her that you love her lately, and that you're giving her Saturday morning to sleep in?

    You need to get a sitter and you need to book her a massage and a hair appointment like yesterday, and then meet her at a nice restaurant for dinner after. Sometimes we want someone to take care of us too.

    • Caroline
      Lv 7
      5 months agoReport

      @Eric it’s definitely important and necessary to focus on her positive attributes when you are frustrated with her. Remind yourself that this is hopefully temporary. Make her laugh often. Tell her that you love and appreciate her daily and be specific and sincere. We get what we give.

  • Robin
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    you dont, We used to have sex with the baby in the bed

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